[UPDATE] My girlfriend (28F) wants to break up cause I (30M) bought the wrong chocolate

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A simple grocery run for chocolate turned into a relationship’s unraveling for a 30-year-old man and his 28-year-old girlfriend. What began with her explosive reaction to caramel chocolate—threatening a breakup—morphed into a deeper reckoning. Her tearful apology, blaming PMS, gave way to another outburst: a pizza hurled to the floor after his 12-hour workday. Refusing to share household responsibilities, she’s now moving out, leaving him heartbroken but resolute.

For those who want to read the previous part: My girlfriend (28F) wants to break up cause I (30M) bought the wrong chocolate

This isn’t just about sweets or tantrums; it’s a stark lesson in boundaries, emotional regulation, and recognizing when love isn’t enough. His journey from confusion to clarity resonates with anyone who’s faced a partner’s volatility. Readers may feel his relief and sorrow, questioning how to spot the line between compromise and self-preservation.

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‘[UPDATE] My girlfriend (28F) wants to break up cause I (30M) bought the wrong chocolate’

I wasn't going to do an update post but some people messaged me about it so here it is. I waited for my girlfriend to calm down and come to me. After a few hours she did. She was crying and really apologetic. We talked about what happened.

She said her PMS made her really upset and her hormones were acting up more than usual this month, making her more irritable. I told her I understood but needed some space to think so I slept in the guest room. I understand that she can't control her PMS symptoms but I didn't grow up in a house where slamming doors and screaming at each other was a normal thing to do when someone is frustrated.

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Also, her saying that she wants to break up shouldn't be a heat of the moment thing. Even though most of the comments were attacking me and making all kinds of assumptions, they also made me think about the dynamics of my relationship and the burden I take on myself

I feel like I'm doing way more in the relationship than my girlfriend. I'm carrying most of the weight on my own shoulders. I thought it was normal because I really love her and want her to be happy. But now that people have pointed out the whole mental load thing and how responsibilities should be shared, I'm starting to think I might've taken on too much.

In a way, this might be the reason why she thinks she can treat me the way she did yesterday. Someone told me in the DMs that there's a fine line between being kind and being a pushover and I sure as hell don't want to be taken advantage of because of my kindness.I'll talk to her today and see if we can figure out a way to share the responsibilities more evenly at home and in our relationship.

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I'll also have to lay down more boundaries which will be hard but I have to do it. Thanks again for the level headed comments and DMs. **Another update after my last update:** Not sure how many people will see this but for some reason I'm getting requests for an update all of a sudden.

After my last post, my girlfriend blew up again and threw a whole pizza on the floor because she got upset. This was it for me. I can't tolerate her outbursts, especially after a 12 hour workday. She also refuses to take on any more responsibilities around the house and doesn't want to work more hours.

I even offered her a job at my company but she refused. I'm heartbroken but she doesn't want to change anything and 'sorry' doesn't cut it anymore. She's in the middle of moving out. Probably not the most positive update you were looking for

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The caramel chocolate fight was a symptom, not the disease. The girlfriend’s volatile reactions—screaming, door-slamming, pizza-throwing—point to emotional dysregulation, possibly exacerbated by her severe PMS, which she’s seeking treatment for. Her refusal to take on more household duties or work hours, despite the man’s grueling 60-hour workweeks, exposed an inequitable dynamic. His initial acceptance of this load, driven by love, masked a growing imbalance until Reddit’s mental load critiques woke him up.

Unmanaged PMS, potentially PMDD, affects 3-8% of women, often straining relationships with irritability and impulsivity (American Psychiatric Association). Dr. Patricia Celan, a psychiatrist, notes, “Emotional outbursts require accountability; medical issues explain, not excuse, harmful behavior” (PsychCentral). The girlfriend’s apologies without change signaled a refusal to grow, while his boundary-setting—demanding respect and equity—was a healthy pivot.

The breakup, though painful, protects his well-being. Therapy can help him process heartbreak and refine his boundary skills for future relationships. Reflecting on Reddit’s feedback, he should explore how his “kindness” veered into enabling, ensuring he seeks partners who reciprocate effort. For others in similar dynamics, couples counseling or medical support for PMS/PMDD can help, but only with mutual commitment.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit community rallied like a candid support group, dissecting the girlfriend’s outbursts and cheering the man’s stand. It was a mix of empathy for his heartbreak and applause for his boundaries, with users critiquing the original post’s harsh assumptions. Here’s their unfiltered take:

RaggedAnn − Screaming, yelling and door slamming can’t be a part of your life if you want to be happy.

-FaithTrustPixieDust − I don't think she should be your girlfriend anymore. . Even in my worst pain having endometriosis while on my period, I have never acted violent or abusive. That's issues with her. Not her menstrual cycle. It's one thing to be irritated easier but to act like she did and threaten the relationship, no. Not normal. 

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CrownVic326 − Had a break down in my relationship similar to this. My man told me he felt like our relationship was one sided and he was doing to much for me and needed time to chill and decompress. He is a homebody while I'm always busy running around and had kinda merged him into the slew of things my life involved.

I resented him at first for saying that and not wanting to help me anymore. But then I sat back and thought about what he was saying and why. And it clicked that I can't be the only one happy and fulfilled in the relationship. That's not what it's about. It's about both of our happiness.

And he made me realize all the running around I did wasn't for myself, but other people in my life. So he helped me realign my life as well... just be as open and direct as possible if she's worth being with she will understand and reassess her life and the things she has slacked on... gl!

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DeathByPigeon − Good update, OP. Christ alive, I just checked the comments on the original post and it’s painful, they all sound so self righteous

Azerate2016 − The saddest part about all this is that even if a woman clearly starts drama over the most outlandish weird things, people will always dogpile on the guy because it has to be his fault right? There were even people claiming it's a bad thing he asks her for a shopping list in the original thread. Unbelievable

Accurate_Fuel_610 − Yes she has little control of her pms symptoms. But she has control on how she reacts to them when it comes to how she treats others. I have a rare diagnosed condition that not only gave me the worst pains but also made me crazy.

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And the first time I directed that anger at my partner, I went and aggressively sought medical help and didn’t give up (because it took years) until I’m now so much better. While it’s not an excuse, I would give her credit for coming to you and apologizing. I’m also glad you’re forging better boundaries for yourself.

I do hope your gf seeks medical support for her pms. She’s still young and might not have known it’s something she can get help with. Most women I know suffer for years before then realize they don’t have to live that way…and that their partners don’t have to suffer with them.. Good luck to you!

Blue-Phoenix23 − Yeah the comments about the mental load weren't really fair to you and it's good that you're talking boundaries about yelling and swearing, and such. We have a no yelling, no hitting household and that's just how it is. So much more peaceful than when I've lived with people that got so aggressive when they were upset.

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I still think y'all need to factor in the PMDD though. She's going to get incredibly upset sometimes until she gets that sorted and y'all need ground rules like you're talking about PLUS some additional coping strategies.

Like safe words to end an argument, you participating in tracking her cycle, her having the explicit plan to self isolate when she's out of sorts. You don't deserve to be a punching bag and it's her job to figure out her s**t. Including working more because that 20 hours a week while you do 60 is nonsense, sorry.

[Reddit User] − When you talk to her, please also tell her how much it’s not ok for her to behave how she did. PMS and being hormonal does not justify that. I’m a woman and I know it can be hell on earth, but if it’s affecting her to the point where she is acting that way, she needs to look into treatment options before it does irreparable damage. For her sake as well as yours.

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mechshark − Bruh come on lol

Shigglyboo − Comments on the original were outrageous. Total Reddit moment. If you’re wanting to stay in the relationship let’s look on the bright side. She apologized and wants to maybe act better. In my world getting super angry over small things isn’t cool. But it happens to all of us. I hope you guys treat each other well. Best of luck stranger!!

Redditors praised his exit from a toxic dynamic, though some felt the original backlash overstated his flaws. Their support validates his choice, but does it fully unpack the PMS factor, or just echo his resolve? One thing’s clear: this breakup saga’s ignited a debate on accountability and equity.

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This man’s journey from a chocolate-fueled fight to a breakup underscores the cost of unchecked volatility and uneven burdens. His girlfriend’s refusal to change, despite apologies, forced a painful but necessary end. His story challenges us to weigh love against self-respect. Have you ever walked away from a relationship that drained you? How do you balance a partner’s struggles with your own boundaries? Share your thoughts below.

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