I [32M] was going to propose to my girlfriend [30F] until she told me she’s pregnant.

Picture a candlelit dinner, a velvet box tucked in a pocket, and a man’s heart racing with anticipation. For one 32-year-old, this was the plan to propose to his girlfriend of three years, until life threw a curveball brighter than the ring’s sparkle. Days before their anniversary, she shared news that flipped their world: she’s pregnant, thanks to a rare IUD failure. Now, he’s wrestling with joy, nerves, and a nagging fear—will his proposal seem like a knee-jerk reaction to the baby news?

This unexpected twist has him questioning the perfect moment to pop the question, all while embracing the idea of fatherhood. Their love is solid, their future bright, but the timing feels like a rom-com gone awry. Readers can’t help but root for this couple, wondering how they’ll navigate this delicate dance of commitment and change. Let’s dive into their story and see what unfolds.

‘I [32M] was going to propose to my girlfriend [30F] until she told me she’s pregnant.’

A few days ago, my girlfriend and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary. I was planning on proposing at dinner (had the ring and everything), but the day before she told me she's pregnant. It seems her IUD failed, which is unfortunate, but we are at a position in our lives where we can handle a child, and I'm ready to support her through pregnancy and become a father.

We had discussed the possibility of kids in the past, and after discussing this recent revelation we'd be happy to bring this child into the world. I just don't know when I should propose, I'm worried it would seem like a shotgun marriage.

Should I try and explain I've been planning on this for months already and that it's not spur of the moment, or should I wait a bit longer? I absolutely intend to marry her, but this could not have been worse timing, it feels like everything has become much more complicated now.

Navigating a surprise pregnancy while planning a proposal is like juggling flaming torches—exciting but tricky. The man’s hesitation shows his care for how his girlfriend perceives his commitment, a sign of emotional maturity. She’s likely grappling with the shock of an IUD failure, which carries medical risks. He’s ready to step up, but the timing of his proposal feels like a tightrope walk.

This situation highlights broader issues around unplanned pregnancies. According to the Guttmacher Institute, about 1 in 2,000 IUD users face pregnancy due to device failure, often requiring urgent medical attention (source). The couple’s first step is clear: a doctor’s visit to assess risks like ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage, which Reddit users rightly emphasize.

Dr. Jennifer Gunter, an OB-GYN, notes, “IUD pregnancies are rare but need immediate evaluation to protect the woman’s health” (source). Her insight underscores the urgency for this couple. The man’s concern about a “shotgun marriage” perception is valid, but transparency can bridge that gap. Showing proof of his prior planning, like the ring’s receipt, could reassure his girlfriend of his intentions.

For advice, he should propose soon, framing it as a celebration of their bond, not a reaction to the pregnancy. A heartfelt explanation—“I’ve been planning this for months because I love you”—can ease doubts. Couples counseling can also help them align on parenting and marriage goals.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s hot takes are like a lively group chat—full of candor and a dash of humor. Here’s what the community had to say:

[Reddit User] − I think you should do it soon and make super clear that the pregnancy is not the reason you are proposing and that you planning it beforehand.

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ITworksGuys − It seems her IUD failed,. Bigger question, has she went to the f**king doctor about this? Unfortunately, there are additional risks involved with an IUD pregnancy. 'You're 50 percent more likely to miscarry if the IUD is left in place, so the recommendation is to let the pregnancy continue and remove the IUD,' says Dr. Sam.

But even then, Dr. Sam adds, you're 25 percent more likely to miscarry even if the IUD is removed. So your doctor will want to monitor an IUD pregnancy closely. There's also a higher risk of ectopic or tubal pregnancy, in which the fertilized egg stays in the fallopian tubes rather than in the uterus.

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Ectopic pregnancies almost always end in loss of the pregnancy, and need to be treated quickly to prevent permanent damage to the woman's reproductive system. IF not, she needs to f**king go right now and start planning this. There is literally a device in her uterus that will potentially cause a miscarriage.. As for the marriage stuff? Show her the receipt or something if she needs proof.. Just ask.

Buez − why has it become more complicated? just ask her to marry you.

RIP_huell_howser − An IUD pregnancy? Oof. How terrifying. Definitely have her see the doctor immediately. If it implanted in her uterus she could be at risk for a miscarriage. If it didn’t implant in the uterus then it’s an ectopic pregnancy and that needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. Aside from that, just ask. Having a ring doesn’t make it seem like you’re asking just because she got pregnant. The ring implies thought and consideration was involved.

itsswimagain − Just because you propose doesn’t mean you have to get married right away . I’ve been engaged for almost 2 years now . If you really want too you can propose , explain you’ve been wanting to for a while and then plan the wedding for when the child is old enough to be the ring bearer or flower girl . Marriage is just a piece of imo. The fact that your asking her shows her you’re committed and there shouldn’t be a rush on getting married .

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[Reddit User] − Having an IUD in increases the chances of an ectopic pregnancy. Please have her see a doctor as soon as possible as this can be very dangerous to her. Also, if this is the case, the pregnancy would be non-viable and the decision to terminate would be made for you.

[Reddit User] − Just let her know you were planning on proposing before you found out she was pregnant.

sunflower1940 − You should have just said something like, 'Well I guess this makes tonight even more perfect,' and got down on bended knee.

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plaidjohanna − And here from the headline I thought her pregnancy was the reason you didn’t want to marry her anymore. FFS just ask!

[Reddit User] − I'm worried it would seem like a shotgun marriage.. Who cares?

These opinions are spicy, but do they hold up? Is it really just about popping the question, or are there deeper layers to consider?

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This couple’s story is a reminder that love doesn’t always follow a script. From a planned proposal to an unexpected pregnancy, they’re rewriting their future with courage and commitment. Whether he proposes now or waits, their bond seems ready to weather the storm. What would you do in their shoes? Have you faced a life twist that changed your plans? Share your thoughts and experiences—let’s keep the conversation going!

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