It annoys me (27F) that my boyfriend (35M) insists on always splitting one entree when we go out for dinner?

Shirley Stafford May 9, 2025

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In a dimly lit sushi restaurant, a 27-year-old woman picks at a single hand roll, her stomach quietly grumbling. Her boyfriend, grinning across the table, declares he’s stuffed, oblivious to her hunger and the sting of his earlier scoff at her suggestion for more. Splitting one entree—a habit born of his tight wallet—has become a nightly ritual, leaving her famished and her food anxieties simmering beneath a forced smile.

This isn’t just about a skimpy meal; it’s a tale of unspoken needs and clashing priorities in a relationship. Her struggle, tangled with body dysmorphia and his financial insecurity, paints a vivid picture of love tested by small but gnawing differences, where the courage to speak up could mean the difference between connection and quiet resentment.

‘It annoys me (27F) that my boyfriend (35M) insists on always splitting one entree when we go out for dinner?’

Splitting a single entree might seem like a quirky couple’s habit, but for this woman, it’s a source of distress, clashing with her food issues and body dysmorphia. Her 35-year-old boyfriend’s insistence on sharing, driven by financial constraints, leaves her hungry and silenced, especially when he dismisses her needs with comments like “one hand roll is enough.” Her hesitation to speak up reflects a deeper fear of rocking the boat.

The dynamic highlights a communication gap, worsened by his lack of empathy. A 2022 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 30% of couples report financial disagreements impacting emotional intimacy. Her boyfriend’s behavior, while not malicious, prioritizes his insecurity over her well-being, risking resentment.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Healthy relationships require bids for connection—small moments where partners respond to each other’s needs with kindness”. This suggests her boyfriend’s dismissal of her hunger signals a missed opportunity for mutual support, which she must address to foster balance.

To move forward, she could initiate a calm conversation at home, framing her need for more food as a health priority, not a critique of his finances. Suggesting they pay separately or alternate paying could allow her to order enough without strain. If resistance persists, reflecting on whether his lack of compromise aligns with her long-term needs may be crucial.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users were quick to call out the boyfriend’s behavior as dismissive and controlling, urging the woman to assert her needs. Many suggest she pay for her own meals to order what she wants, emphasizing that no one should dictate her portions, especially given her food-related struggles. They criticize his public scoffing as immature for a 35-year-old, questioning his financial priorities for dining out while unable to afford full meals.

The community also encourages cooking at home as a practical workaround but stresses open communication to avoid resentment. Some see his actions as a red flag, warning that his lack of empathy could signal deeper incompatibilities. These candid takes highlight the importance of standing up for her needs and reevaluating a relationship that leaves her physically and emotionally unfulfilled.

This story of shared plates and silent hunger reveals how small habits can spark big tensions in love. The woman’s struggle to voice her needs against her boyfriend’s frugality underscores the delicate dance of compromise in relationships. It’s a reminder that speaking up, though daunting, is the first step toward mutual respect. Readers, have you navigated clashing priorities with a partner? Share your experiences below.