1 month into having an adopted sister

A cozy Christmas day unfolds, filled with tentative smiles and shared games, as a 17-year-old embraces his new adopted sister. Just one month in, their home hums with cautious connection—she’s opening up, he’s learning her ways, and their family’s adjusting to a new rhythm. Her hesitance and unique needs, possibly due to visual impairment, add layers to their bond.

Yet, every small victory, like her enjoying a meal, feels like a milestone. Is he nailing this big-brother role, or could he do more? Reddit’s cheering him on, and we’re diving into this heartwarming journey of siblinghood.

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‘1 month into having an adopted sister’

HOLESOME CHRISTMAS S**T: quick update on the post cause Christmas. We didn't do anything crazy today but we had a nice quiet day at home and she was quite visibly nervous as hell but really put herself out there for us. We managed to find some games and stuff that we could do including her and it was really fun.

Also actually saw her enjoy eating for what seems like the first time so far. Not much to say from the top of my head but yeah, figured some would appreciate the quick para. Alright, it's been a whole month since my first post and first up I'd just like to thank everyone who commented and helped with my issues/concerns/stupid s**t.

A bunch of people wanted the update and I'm all too happy to share because I feel like I'm doing a good job so far.. Now proceed to the stuff that actually matters to you: For 1 month, I've learned quite a but about her because she's starting to open up and letting me ask questions.

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I've been noticing a gradual improvement in that so I guess I'm doing an alright job in being someone she can feel comfortable around. I still have moments where I notice she's uncomfortable or nervous/scared but we've got things to deal with that. I'd appreciate any further advice on how to be clear she doesn't have to do/say anything unless she wants to without outright saying it and embarrassing her.

We've come up with somewhat of a system, she's able to leave any situation if she needs to take a breather. My parents are getting along with her too, but she seems to be avoiding calling them mom and dad so far, but I guess I can understand that hesitation.

They're trying not to push the relationship because they read something about kids feeling forced to like adoptive parents and not being able to disagree with things/object without fear of r**ection. I've also told her that no matter what time or anything if she needs help for any reason that she can ask me, she is hesitant to ask sometimes but she is pretty good at things herself anyway so yeah.

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Being perfectly honest it's really cool to see how she gets around the house and functions differently to me due to her sight. I occasionally ask questions but I'm still keeping that slow so she doesn't get annoyed. I remember a commenter on my last post mentioning a trick for not overfilling glasses by using your finger and I noticed she does it too, so I found that a little neat.

I have had some great opportunities just to talk and try and get comfortable by going out to eat during the day sometimes and other random activities. All in all I guess I'm still in the honeymoon period where I'm looking at everything positively but I'm enjoying it.

There are some big changes in how things are working and I'm still adjusting to them but I'm eager to see how things keep going and hey, so far so good I guess. I probably left stuff out so feel free to ask whatever in the comments as long as it doesn't require personal info.

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This teen’s thoughtful approach to his adopted sister’s integration is a masterclass in empathy. At 17, he’s balancing curiosity with respect, creating a safe space for her to open up. Her hesitance—avoiding “mom” and “dad” or needing breathers—suggests past trauma or adjustment struggles, common in adoption. His system for giving her space without embarrassment is spot-on.

Adoption often reshapes family dynamics. Psychologist Dr. David Brodzinsky notes, “Adoptive families thrive when children feel control over their pace of bonding.” Here, the teen’s restraint and his parents’ non-pushy stance align with this, fostering trust. Her visual impairment adds complexity; his curiosity about her navigation (like the glass-filling trick) shows genuine interest without prying.

The broader issue is supporting adopted kids’ emotional needs. About 40% of adopted children face adjustment challenges, per child welfare studies. The teen’s offer of unconditional help, paired with family activities like Christmas games, builds her sense of belonging. Still, her occasional fear hints at deeper insecurities that may surface later.

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He could keep nurturing trust by sharing his own vulnerabilities, like saying, “I’m still figuring this out too.” Family therapy might help navigate future hurdles.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s community showered this teen with praise and shared their own adoption stories, creating a cozy vibe. Here’s what they chimed in with:

AliceLovesBooks − I remember you! And so happy to see this update post. You all sound like a match made in heaven for each other and I love that little old reddit has had tips and tricks that may have helped you to get through this life changing event. Good luck!

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sugarfreepotatohead − This is so heartwarming. She is lucky to have a brother like you looking out for her. You're a good man.

TheMildOnes34 − I adopted a 17 year old who is now 21. I'm not sure if I have any specific advice but if you would like to ask me any questions, feel free. Took about 6 months for her to call me mom after she moved in at 16. Before that I made sure she knew she could call me whatever she was comfortable with.

It's been 4 years and even now I smile when I overhear her refer to my husband as dad and me as mom (although biologically I'm not really old enough to have birthed her so people in public often look confused but hey, that's part of the fun'

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MemberMurphysLaw − I have an adopted step-sister (my parents divorced, my dad remarried, then he and my step-mother adopted a 11 year old girl) who for the first five years always referred to our dad as 'your dad',ie, not her dad.. It may take time but persist with your realtionship and eventually she'll settle in.

throwaway_acct_9 − I remember your first post. I'm glad things are going well. It must be a strange situation. My youngest brother is adopted, but he was 4 weeks old when he first came in to my parents care, and I was only 7. That was 21 years ago now and I can tell you that he's no longer my 'adopted brother'. He hasn't been for a long time. He's my brother.

I hope you and your new sister can continue to develop a relationship, it sounds like she's really lucky to have come in to your family. It's so lovely to see you reaching out to try to make her more comfortable. I can't offer any advice, other than keep doing what you're doing. Make sure she knows you're there for her, but that you also respect her boundaries and will leave her alone when she needs it.

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nosynobody − Thank you for updating this post. I am very happy to see you get along. This filled my heart with joy

musickeepsmesane − This post gave me so many warm, fuzzy feelings this morning! It sounds like you are navigating this big change in your life extremely well! I never had the chance to read the OP when you posted it. Is your adopted sister blind? Are you all close in age? I'm so happy for the new addition to your family. It sounds as though she has found a great match! Best wishes to you all :)

cptGumrock − I had an adotped sister join our family 6 years ago, I can say that life feels complete with her and I truly love her. There were many hurdles, considering the abuse she faced and the language barrier, but it was all so worth it. You'll love her soon enough and think: 'man how crazy is it that she *wasnt* around' best of luck!!!! Edit: I'd just like to put that I was 13 at the time. Dude your 17! You've got this!!!! DM me if u need any help!!!! Adopted families rock : )

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randomgirl8010 − This post makes me really happy! I’m actually adopted. I’m not going to lie to you, things are going to get difficult at some point. I love that you are trying everything to make her comfortable and are also very aware of where her heads at. You’re very mature for your age.

My older brother’s did that for me when I was brought into their home and I can’t tell you how much of an impact that’s had on me. I can guarantee that kind of care you have won’t go unnoticed. There are going to be moments where she will try to push everyone away and may even have meltdowns about living with your family.

They will pass, it’s just a thing a lot of adopted kids struggle with. It’s kind of like an acceptance stage for their new life. We try to fight it but eventually we’ll move on and realize how awesome our new life is. Granted, she will carry those feelings the rest of her life she’ll just learn how to manage them better.

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Based off these posts it sounds like you’re 110% in her corner and as another adopted kid I can’t tell you how much that means that your new family has your back. I’m so glad everything has worked out, and I hope it continues to!

fanartaltmanfartsalt − Hey you're back! Wholesome post. Thanks for sharing op, nice to have a change of pace around here. Merry Christmas to you and yours dude

These Reddit hugs are heart-melting, but will this honeymoon phase last? Is the teen on the right track?

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This tale of a new sister and a teen’s big heart reminds us that family is built on patience and small wins. From Christmas games to quiet chats, he’s laying a foundation for a lifelong bond, even as challenges loom. Reddit’s support echoes his hope, but the journey’s just begun. So, readers, what’s your take? How would you step into a sibling role like this? Have you faced big family changes? Share your stories below and let’s keep the warmth flowing!

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