My BF (36M) keeps kicking me (29F) out of our hotel room when we travel. Is this behaviour going to get worse?
What started as dazzling surprise getaways to Austin and Las Vegas has become a nightmare for a 29-year-old woman. Her boyfriend, 36, who earns significantly more and funds their trips, has twice turned drunken nights into humiliating ordeals, kicking her out of their hotel room and mocking her independence. His apologies, laced with tears and promises, follow each incident, but the sting of his words—“you need me”—and her night spent in a hallway linger, leaving her questioning their love.
This Reddit post cuts deep, echoing the fears of anyone caught in a partner’s shifting moods. Her gratitude for his generosity clashes with the pain of his cruelty, sparking fierce debate among readers about red flags and redemption. As she weighs his remorse against her safety, her story demands we ask: can love survive such betrayal? Let’s unpack her journey.
‘My BF (36M) keeps kicking me (29F) out of our hotel room when we travel. Is this behaviour going to get worse?’
When a partner uses money and shelter as weapons, as this boyfriend did, it’s not just a fight—it’s a power play rooted in control. Her efforts to assert her independence clashed with his need to dominate, escalating into verbal abuse and dangerous actions like forcing her out at 5 a.m. His apologies, while emotional, lose weight when the behavior repeats, especially in vulnerable settings like travel.
A 2021 study from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (source) notes that 1 in 4 women experience emotional abuse, often tied to financial control. Dr. Lundy Bancroft, an abuse expert, warns, “Abusers thrive on isolating victims; apologies are often tools to maintain control.” His pattern—escalating when she’s dependent—suggests deeper issues, possibly narcissism or unresolved trauma, as she fears.
She should prioritize safety, refusing future trips and documenting incidents for legal protection, like a restraining order if needed. Couples counseling could explore his triggers, but only if he commits to sobriety and therapy. She must assess if his “amazing” traits outweigh this risk.
Heres what people had to say to OP:
Reddit’s reactions roar like a crowd at a showdown—some demand she run, others dissect his motives with razor-sharp clarity.
![[Reddit User] − Abusers are almost never fully terrible people. In fact, most of them have a lot of great qualities, which they are excellent at showing you in the beginning - and then slowly their mask starts to drop. So I'm not surprised he's 'amazing in so many other ways' as you say. But he IS an abuser. The fact that both of these incidents have occurred on trips your boyfriend has paid for isn't a coincidence and is absolutely a sign of things to come.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/181183cm-07.png)
These takes, from visceral to analytical, light up the stakes of her choice. But do they fully map the path to freedom?
This woman’s tale of dream trips turned toxic reveals the chilling cost of a partner’s control. His drunken cruelty, wielded in moments of vulnerability, overshadows his apologies, signaling a pattern that could worsen. With experts flagging abuse and Reddit urging escape, her next move hinges on courage and clarity. Would you stay to fix a love like this, or walk away from the danger? What steps would you take to reclaim your peace? Drop your thoughts below and let’s dive in.
