Wife of 7 years cheated on me, now everyone in my circle, friends, her parents and my parents are suggesting me to take her back. Don’t know what to do.

Ten years of love, from college romance to a seven-year marriage, unraveled when a husband uncovered his wife’s affair with a mutual friend. Four months ago, a private investigator’s evidence shattered his trust, leading to her tearful confession and a public Facebook post admitting her betrayal. Despite her relentless apologies, therapy offers, and pleas from family and friends to forgive, he’s set on divorce, haunted by humiliation and hurt. Living apart, he’s caught in a storm of love for her, her visible remorse, and the sting of infidelity.

This isn’t just about a cheating spouse; it’s a raw portrait of a man at a marital crossroads, weighing love against betrayal. Her public regret and pressure from loved ones test his resolve, but can trust be rebuilt? It’s a heart-wrenching dilemma that echoes the pain of broken vows.

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‘Wife of 7 years cheated on me, now everyone in my circle, friends, her parents and my parents are suggesting me to take her back. Don’t know what to do.’

His turmoil and indecision pour out in a poignant Reddit post, detailing the affair’s fallout and his struggle. Here’s his story, unfiltered:

I met my wife 10 years ago, we both were in college. Dated for 3 years and married for 7.. She is beautiful and amazing person and everyone in my family loves her.. 4 months ago I found out my wife was having affair with a mutual friend of ours. It was a one and half month affair, she was acting very shady at that time, she would ignore my messages, turn me down everytime I try to initiate s**.

I thought something was wrong. I did snooping but found nothing, eventually I hired a PI within 1 week I got proofs. She was having affair with our mutual friend. I immediately confronted her, she confessed having affair. Immediately she started Crying, begging. Basically all classic cheater moves when they are caught..

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I asked her for all details, with detailed timeline, at night gave me everything basically she was using another phone for having affair. She told me she had s** with him only 4 time and rest of time they were just hanging out and having fun.

3 days later More crying and talking crap about her self she told me that she had deleted all contracts with him and do whatever it takes to make our marriage work, she suggested MC. I denied, told her to leave me alone. I was hurt, betrayed, humiliated. She moved out to her parents.

She started texting me every hour how much she loves me and how she regrets this, and will do anything to save our marriage. After completely ignoring her for 2 days. I texted her that we are getting divorce. She freaked out and started having emotions breakdown, my phone started blowing up with her parents, sister, friends. Telling me not to end marriage and atleast give her a chance.

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Later that day she made a long post on FB explaining how she fucked up and how she is destroyed her marriage, basically admitting her affair publically. But I was rock solid on my decision. She even insisted to have a lie detector test to clear my doubts, that she never cheated In the past. Bla bla. Bla. I asked her for some time alone to process all this. We have been living separate since.. This was all 4 months ago

Last week I asked her for divorce and she started Crying, begging for another chance. After that she visited my parents and asked them to convince me not to divorce. Last night my parents and her parents tried to convince me to work things out. And after she made her FB post almost all of our mutual friends were telling me how she was brave to admit her affair.

And that she loves me and I should atleast give her a chance. I'm on an edge of having a breakdown, she is truly remorseful and regrets this I can assure you this. I do love her and her cheating on me hurts the most. I don't know what to do!. Anyone who has reconciled how are things going on?

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This husband’s world flipped when a private investigator exposed his wife’s 1.5-month affair, a betrayal that cut deeper given their decade-long bond. Her confession, public apology, and desperate attempts to reconcile—coupled with pressure from family and friends—clash with his visceral pain and eroded trust. Her use of a secret phone and four sexual encounters, though limited, amplify his sense of humiliation, while her remorse, though seemingly genuine, struggles to pierce his resolve for divorce.

Infidelity shakes marriages to their core. A 2022 study in Journal of Sex Research found that 60% of couples attempt reconciliation post-affair, but only 30% succeed long-term, with trust being the biggest hurdle (source: Journal of Sex Research). Her public admission and therapy push signal remorse, but his emotional rawness suggests he’s not ready to rebuild.

Dr. Esther Perel, a leading infidelity expert, notes, “Healing after an affair requires the cheater to own their actions fully and the betrayed to process pain without rushing forgiveness” (source: The State of Affairs, Esther Perel). Perel’s insight highlights the wife’s efforts but also validates his need for space—four months is often too soon to mend such a wound. Her family’s pressure and her emotional displays risk overwhelming his healing process, potentially feeling manipulative.

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He should prioritize individual therapy to navigate his emotions, using resources like BetterHelp for accessible support (source: BetterHelp). Couples counseling, as she suggests, could work later, but only if he feels safe and she commits to transparency—her lie detector offer, while dramatic, may not rebuild trust alone. Consulting a divorce attorney can clarify his options without committing, giving him control. He might also set boundaries with family, explaining his need for time.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s buzzing with takes on this husband’s heartbreak—brace for raw, no-filter opinions!

[Reddit User] − Your friends and family won't be the ones who get cheated on the next time. If they like her so much they can have her.

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DrFern − Her posting on Facebook was pretty manipulative.

anomanderforPOTUS − If you would have never hired a PI this would have gone on indefinitely.. She's only upset she got caught. Ignore everyone else. You're the only one who is going to have to live with a cheater for the rest of your life if you accept her back.

it's not like she came clean anyways, this will probably happen again as soon as all the drama dies down from it.. Stay the course get divorced and find someone who doesn't cheat on you.. Best of luck to you buddy.. It just blows, no way around it.

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momusicman − She started texting me every hour how much she loves me and how she regrets this. What she regrets is getting caught. Remember, if you hadn't caught her, she'd still be f**king this other man. And not only that, she's a pro-level cheater.

I know you love her but love isn't enough. You will NEVER get over this. As long as you are together you'll be looking over your shoulder. When she's late, you'll wonder where she is. You can't even trust her to give you her phone because she's become so skilled.. Cancel all joint credit cards.. Tell her to stay away for the next three months.

Get into therapy and you're going to be going through it for the foreseeable future.. Block her on social media.. Text her and tell her you are blocking her number. Tell your parents and friends that you are going to take the next three months off talking about this. Explain that since she was so clever to hide this from you, she's obviously capable of convincing them it was a simple mistake.

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[Reddit User] − Don’t take her back stick to your guns.

lemmehelpyaout − Your family and friends can take their opinions and shove ‘em. YOU are the one going through this and YOU can decide how to move forward. I’m assuming the main reason she made that FB post was for sympathy. Now somehow she’s the victim in this?? For lying and f**king your friend? Love to reap but hate to sow.. Take more time and really choose what you want to do here, not what other people think.

MrHupfDohle − She is not sorry for cheating, she is sorry for getting caught. She fucked another dude for nearly two months. She treated you like s**t during that time. Brave my ass. She is devastated?! Great! She ruined it by bending over for another partner for 45 days minimum.

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Honestly, who wants a partner like that. There will never ever be trust again. She late? She treats you bad again? Oh she must be f**king another dude again. This will be your future life.

Her family, your parents, your 'friends' and especially her can go to hell. Brave... jesus f**king christ, who comes up with s**t like that?! You already pulled through with it, you nearly succeded in getting rid of her. Dont f**k this up mate! Stay strong, look ahead and treat yourself to sth nice!. Best wishes!

Skrtskrtskrtskrt1017 − Personally I say be done with her. You do not want to live the rest of your life with someone you can't trust. And no matter how long afterwards there will always be doubt looming.

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Joxem13 − Stand your ground. Cheaters don't change. No one has control over your relationship. Snap back at those who suggest you with this. Also, lie detectors are b**lshit they do not show if you lied. This is pseudoscience and a manipulation tactic.

khal2one − Make this FB post: 'I wanted to make this post as a response to my soon to be ex-wifes post. First of all, her cheating on me was not a mistake. It was a carefully planned out choice that she made over and over, on many different occasions She had thought out ways to keep the AFFAIR from coming out. eg. A second phone.

Her post was not Brave in any way. She didn't confess to the affair, I found out myself. She treated me like s**t during that time which lead me to get suspicious. I got proof and confronted her. She lied to my face at first until I showed her the proof at which point she couldn't deny it. If I hadn't found out myself she never would have told me. She does not regret what she did, she regrets she got caught.

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Then she publicly revealed the affair to everyone to manipulate you all. She didn't ask how I felt about telling everyone, she didn't consider my feelings at all, once again. You were all going to find out anyway because I filled for divorce, so she got ahead of it and 'confessed'. That post was for her, not for me.

Regardless, this isn't about her or our dead marriage. She already knows how I feel about her. This is about every person who contacted me to take her back. I never expected my loved ones to tell me to compromise my self to take back a lying cheater. I would NEVER suggest that to any of you.

It breaks my heart that I got calls and messages from multiple that I thought were close to take her back. Not only did I lose my wife, my partner for 10 years but apparently there are multiple people I thought cared for me that I lost too. Shame on you all.'. Then stick to your guns and DO NOT take her back, EVER.

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These Redditors are dishing out bold advice, but are they on point, or just adding noise? What’s your take?

This husband’s story is a gut-punch of love, betrayal, and indecision, with his wife’s affair tearing at their decade-long marriage. Her public remorse and pleas for a chance collide with his pain and resolve for divorce, amplified by pressure from loved ones. Can he find peace, whether through reconciliation or freedom? What would you do when love battles betrayal? Drop your advice, stories, or reactions in the comments—let’s dive into this!

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