My 28F ex-fiancé 33M accused me of cheating, almost cost me my job and now wants to apologize after 8 months?

Eight months ago, a 28-year-old woman’s world unraveled when her fiancé accused her of cheating without proof, shattering their wedding plans. His baseless claims escalated into a public outburst at her workplace, where he yelled and grabbed her, forcing security to intervene. The fallout—lies spread to friends and family, a job transfer two hours away—left her rebuilding her life. Now, he’s back, pleading for a chance to apologize, leaving her torn between closure and fear of renewed harassment.

This Reddit post captures the raw pain of betrayal and the complexity of facing an ex’s regret. Her story resonates with anyone who’s endured false accusations or struggled to move on from toxic behavior. The community’s responses, from calls for legal action to cautious empathy, highlight the stakes of her decision. Let’s explore her ordeal and what’s at stake in hearing him out.

‘My 28F ex-fiancé 33M accused me of cheating, almost cost me my job and now wants to apologize after 8 months?’

8 months ago my fiancé 33M now ex and I 28F were planning our wedding. Everything was fine until he suddenly accused me of cheating. He didn’t have any proof and never even mentioned who he thought I was cheating with. But he was convinced I was being unfaithful. It was all just talk but he was dead serious. No matter what I said he wouldn’t believe me.

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We broke off our engagement but it didn’t end there. A few days after we broke up. He showed up at my work and caused a huge scene. He yelled at me in front of 4 of my co-workers. Said awful things and even grabbed me. Security had to get involved and physically remove him from the building which resulted in me being transferred to another branch 2 hours away from where I used to live.

After that. He started spreading lies to our mutual friends and even to some of my extended family members. It was one of the worst times in my life and I’ve spent the last 8 months trying to move on and heal from all the damage he caused. But now two days ago. He showed up outside my work and asked to talk.

When I refused he said he just wants to apologize and that he’ll give me a few days to think about it before he tries again. My sister thinks I should at least hear him out. She says maybe he really regrets what he did. I don’t know if I could ever forgive him but is it worth listening to his apology?

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I’m still hurt and angry when I think about everything he put me through but I’m concerned that if I don’t hear him out he won’t stop trying to contact me or showing up at my work. I don’t even know how he found out where I got transferred but I guess it’s not that hard to figure out.. Thanks in advance for any advice.

False accusations and public humiliation, as this woman endured, aren’t just betrayals—they’re forms of emotional abuse that erode trust and safety. Her ex’s actions, from workplace aggression to spreading lies, prioritized his insecurities over her well-being, while her hesitation to engage reflects a justified need for self-protection. His sudden reappearance, especially at her workplace, raises red flags about his intentions, as persistence without consent borders on harassment.

A 2020 study from the National Institute of Justice (source) notes that 1 in 4 women experience emotional abuse, often escalating during relationship endings. Dr. Lundy Bancroft, an expert on abusive behavior, states, “Genuine apologies come with changed behavior, not demands for forgiveness.” His return without amends suggests manipulation over remorse.

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She should prioritize safety, documenting his attempts to contact her and considering a restraining order if he persists. A written apology, as Reddit suggested, could test his sincerity without risking direct contact. Therapy might help process her anger and fear.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s responses shine like a flashlight in a storm—some blazing with outrage, others glowing with caution.

NDaveT − If he really wants to apologize he can put it in writing.. She says maybe he really regrets what he did.. Maybe he does but that doesn't do you much good.

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helendestroy − He was harassing you then, and he's still harassing you.I think it would be a bad idea to let him anywhere near you, and you might need to get the law involved tbh.

TaylorMade2566 − Who cares if he regrets it now? He accused you of cheating without any proof and then went nuclear on your life. If your sister knows where you work it was probably her that told him, since she thinks you should talk to him. You should confront her about that and if it's true, let her know if she can't keep your life details to herself, you'll have to stop sharing it.

DearNeighborhood7685 − GIRL he is SO insecure. Please you’re so much better off without him.. You’re saved from a long lasting nightmare. Nobody deserves to be falsely accused and shamed in public like that. If he truly loved you, he would have heard you out multiple times, give you atleast one chance even if he thought you cheated on him. People in love don’t attack each other like this, and who knows in future how awful he would have been with you just cause of his insecurities

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anitarielleliphe − Your sister is wrong. In the situation you described of his behavior it is NOT your job to make him feel better. Further, the fact that he showed up again at your place of employment after what he did before shows that he has absolutely '0' concern for you, your welfare, your job, and is devoid of any self-awareness.  His past and current behavior is beyond appalling, but borderline mentally unstable.

I would NOT entertain a conversation with him. In fact, I would file a restraining order and tell him that you will enforce it. There is absolutely no reason you are required to listen to anything he has to say, and he should respect that, and then please do move on with your life. More often than not, women are conditioned to be polite and caring, especially in situations in which a man would never do that.

This is one of those situations. He cannot come back from such behavior and you do NOT want to give him a re-entry point into your life by suggesting you even care to hear an apology. His apology will not change things, except to make him feel better, and the methods in which he is attempting to strong-arm you to meet that need are just starting the unstable behavior cycle anew.

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highoncatnipbrownies − She says maybe he really regrets what he did. Or maybe he wants to try to get his hands on you again without security there to stop him. Your sister is being naive. Stay far away from this guy. At absolute best he's cheating on you and insecure so he projected his own lies onto you. He also might have a major mental heath issue that causes him to bounce between normalish and violent behavior.. Either way.... Stay far away FAR AWAY from this guy.

bootbug − My god please do not hear him out. Please don’t give him another chance to blow up your life. Get a restraining order if you have to. He doesn’t sound safe.

Ok_Breakfast9531 − Before you even THINK about having a substantive talk with him, he must make AMENDS. While you can never put gossip back in the bottle, there are plenty of things he can do to try to repair the damage he has done to you. That means approaching every single person he badmouthed you to and explain that he lied to them about you.

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And then posting on every social media platform he is on and making a statement about what he did to you. That means getting in touch with your former boss and your current boss and taking responsibility for what he did. That means paying you back all of your costs for having to change offices. That could be relocation costs.

Compensation for that two hour commute if you didn't relocated. Compensation for the mileage you've put on your car. See what ACTIONS he will take to repair the damage and rebuild trust. His words mean nothing. Only actions mean anything. If he does serious work on amends, then you can consider talking with him. But he has to show you he even deserves that conversation considering the substantial damage he did to you.

merri-melody − You don't need to accept his apology nor do you need to meet him

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AnxietyFilled79 − 1. I feel like he was projecting and trying to protect his reputation because he was either actively physically cheating or was emotionally cheating thinking it was going to turn physical. 2. You don't owe him anything. If you are fine leaving things as they were let him know. Tell him he can email you but you have no desire to speak to him.. 3. Remember how he treated you. That is who he is. Hold on to that truth.

From legal advice to blunt warnings, these takes pulse with conviction. But do they fully grapple with the risk of letting an ex back in?

This woman’s journey from betrayal to cautious recovery underscores the cost of unchecked accusations and the challenge of facing an ex’s remorse. Her ex’s actions left scars, and his return threatens her hard-won peace. With experts urging boundaries and Reddit advocating distance, her next step hinges on safety and self-respect. Would you hear out an ex who caused such harm, or shut the door for good? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this together.

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