Something went on between my (F32) husband (M32) and my sister (F26). What do I do?

In a cozy home filled with the warmth of family routines, a 32-year-old woman’s world crumbled in a single moment. Her husband, packing a bag in haste, dropped a bombshell: her younger sister had crossed an unthinkable line with him, and he was leaving to give her space. The words hung heavy, leaving her stunned, heartbroken, and lost in a fog of betrayal from the two people she trusted most.

This isn’t just a story of infidelity; it’s a gut-wrenching tale of shattered bonds, where love, family, and loyalty collide in chaos. Her anguish, as she wrestles with sparse details and mental images, mirrors the raw pain of discovering a life built on trust can unravel in seconds, leaving only questions and a daunting path ahead.

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‘Something went on between my (F32) husband (M32) and my sister (F26). What do I do?’

Yesterday morning my husband quickly got a bag ready without me seeing, came to me and told me my sister sucked his d**k, and that he thought it would be best if he left for awhile and gave me space.. That was it.. Ive pretty much been left in the dark since.. He seemed very stressed and upset. I just stood there a little dumbfounded.

My sister has been going through a very hard time the last few weeks and has spent a lot of time at ours, initially with her partner but around a week ago they started having issues so she just came and unloaded their problems. She came over Sunday night and ended up staying over. But I didnt notice them slipping away together at any time.

So far the only communication Ive had with my husband has been about our child. Ive asked him over and over whats going on and all he tells me is he is still trying to figure it out. What is there to figure out? I cant believe that just like that everything I know is in tatters. Everything weve built together, everything we have, hes choosen to throw it all away.

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And to just tell me like that and leave, I’m totally heartbroken.. I never in a million years saw this coming. I also thought me and my sister had a stronger relationship aswell, the betrayal from her has me feeling so lost right now. Ive seen many a horror story on here with infidelity and stupidly now I’m in this situation I have absolutely no idea where I go from here?.

I know everyone will tell me to leave him, but its more complicated when theres kids/houses/a business involved.. And I dont even know whats went on, no one will talk to me.. The mental pictures are driving me insane.. Im not ready to talk to friends or family yet so I’m asking reddit, wtf do I do?. Restarting life at 32 sounds like a nightmare..

Edit:. Many people suggesting I move money/ restrict accounts. In a pathetic move I text him again to ask whats going on and to please talk to me before I contact lawyers and secure my accounts, thinking this would get a reaction.

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He replied simply saying do what I need to do and that he can come back tonight to explain what happened.. Depending on how this goes I may or may not make an update post.. I just dont get why Im getting the runaround.

A marriage rocked by a confession of infidelity, especially involving a sibling, is a devastating blow. The woman’s husband revealed her sister’s sexual act, then fled, leaving her in a whirlwind of confusion and pain. His vague responses and her sister’s silence amplify her distress, while their shared child, home, and business complicate any quick decisions, making her feel trapped in limbo.

The husband’s abrupt exit and stress suggest he’s grappling with the event, possibly indicating coercion or alcohol-fueled regret, as some comments propose. Conversely, the sister’s recent emotional turmoil and frequent presence at their home raise questions of intent or jealousy. A 2021 study in Journal of Family Issues notes that 15% of family-related betrayals involve siblings, often tied to unresolved rivalry, hinting at deeper dynamics.

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Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, a relationship expert, states, “Betrayal by a spouse and family member creates a dual wound, shattering trust and identity, requiring clear communication to heal”. This suggests the wife needs transparency to process the trauma, whether it’s infidelity or something non-consensual.

To move forward, she should prioritize a calm, private talk with her husband to uncover the full context, possibly with a therapist to mediate. Contacting her sister, ideally via recorded messages for clarity, could reveal motives. Consulting a lawyer to safeguard assets and seeking therapy for herself can provide stability, helping her navigate this crisis with resilience.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users offered a mix of empathy and urgency, reflecting the gravity of this double betrayal. Many view the husband’s panicked departure as a sign of possible assault or drunken regret, urging caution before assuming mutual infidelity. Others see the sister’s actions as deliberate, perhaps driven by envy or a desire to disrupt her sister’s stable life, especially given her own recent struggles.

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The community also stresses protecting the wife’s interests, recommending legal consultation to secure finances and custody arrangements. Concerns about the sister controlling the narrative or the husband’s ongoing silence highlight the need for clarity, with some warning that the betrayal’s impact on the child could worsen without swift action. These perspectives underscore the complexity and emotional weight of the situation.

SherrKhan32 − I'd be confronting my sister, in front of our parents. Everybody would know. 

Glittered_Kat2112 − This is a horrible situation, and it's totally okay to feel o**rwhelmed and lost right now. Put yourself first and reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. They can listen and help you figure out what to do next.Remember, you don't have to go through this alone.

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HilMickaelson − I think your sister wanted company in her misery and ruined your marriage on purpose. Or she was jealous of your life and wanted to take you out of her way. Have you talked with your sister and her partner? Try to get more details from them, but talk through messages or in a public place while recording the conversation.

All the proof of the affair might help you during divorce proceedings. Do you know if your husband is with your sister? Have you informed your parents about what happened? Your family should find out about what happened through you. Don't let your sister control the narrative and play the victim.

I'm so sorry you and your kids are going through this. You need to roll up your sleeves and take action ASAP. Get tested for STDs because he might have cheated on you before, and you don't know if their affair involved more than just a BJ. Contact a lawyer to start divorce proceedings and a custody agreement.

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You need to fight for your and your kids' rights. He is a cheater, and he showed no respect for you. He is keeping you in the dark on purpose because he might still be with your sister. So, don't give him second chances because you deserve better than him.

Equal_Leadership2237 − His reaction sounds like a “how the f**k did this happen” type of thing, and likely quite recent. Not so much like a “leaving to be with her” thing. To the point he doesn’t sound like he even knows how things got here based on his reaction.. Any night your husband was drinking recently? Was your husband drunk, and you weren’t around (even just asleep)?

Chances are, whatever night that was is the night this happened. His reaction, from the run away to the “trying to figure it out” sounds like someone who had s** while drunk that they would never do sober and can’t wrap their head around it (I’ve been there). This isn’t excusing him, just trying to explain and give you some clues as to when this was more likely to have happened.

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FunctionAlone9580 − Please do have a conversation with him later and verify that s**ual a**ault isn't actually what happened. His behaviour sounds identical to mine after I was raped years back. I couldn't really even process the fact that it was 'rape' for months and kept telling myself I cheated. Could I have not drank so much? Yes, and I'm sober now. But I did say no as many times as I could muster. 

Ravenkelly − There's always kids, houses and businesses involved. It's never EASY. It's still NECESSARY

ukekyle − To me this kind of sound like maybe she assaulted him. Like, he sounds like he may be panicking and worried and just got out of there as fast as he could. I say you take a bit of time to think everything over and don't do anything rash at this very moment.

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People are saying change accounts and pull out money, but I say hold off against that unless you start to see something weird. If it is an a**ault you need to be there for your husband. If not, go the legal route and don't do anything that could be used against you in a divorce.

Good_Ad6336 − What are the chances that your sister pushed herself on your husband without his consent? Your husband’s reaction doesn’t follow the typical pattern of someone who wants to cheat (I.e. lying and going behind your back). If we flip the genders, it wouldn’t be easily written off that the partner was taken advantage of. I’m not saying this is what happened, but it could’ve.

[Reddit User] − I hope you get to the bottom of this and find out the truth of the circumstances. If alcohol was involved and it was one sided, just keep in mind men can be the victims of s**ual a**ault as well, and many men don't think they can be and shut down. Before anyone jumps on a downvoted train about this, I'm just stating the possibility since there are no details about what happened.

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Love_Lyren12419 − This sucks, and it's totally okay to feel lost and confused right now. Take care of yourself first and foremost.Try talking to a therapist or counselor to help you sort through everything and figure out your next steps.You've got this, and you're not alone.

This heart-wrenching saga of betrayal reveals how quickly trust can fracture, leaving a family in pieces. The wife’s pain, caught between her husband’s confession and her sister’s silence, speaks to the raw wounds of infidelity and familial deceit. It’s a stark reminder that love and loyalty demand truth to heal. Readers, have you faced a betrayal that upended your world? Share your insights below.

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