6 months postpartum, my (27F) fiancé tells me he (26M)“loves me less.” How to navigate emotionally as a single parent?

In the quiet of a nursery, with her six-month-old son finally asleep, Emma’s world crumbled as her fiancé, Tom, uttered the words: “I love you less.” After months of his emotional and physical distance—a $25 Starbucks card for her birthday, wilted flowers for Mother’s Day—his confession confirmed her fears. Juggling solo parenting and a work-from-home job, Emma now faces the daunting prospect of single motherhood at 27, her heart heavy with betrayal and self-doubt.

This isn’t just a breakup; it’s a new mom’s battle to reclaim her strength amid postpartum chaos and a partner’s withdrawal. Readers are pulled into Emma’s raw struggle, wondering if she can rebuild her life and show her son what true love looks like, even if it’s just her own.

ADVERTISEMENT

‘6 months postpartum, my (27F) fiancé tells me he (26M)“loves me less.” How to navigate emotionally as a single parent?’

As the title says, I’m (27F) 6 months postpartum with my beautiful son - my first and only. I’ve been with my fiancé (26M) going on 6 years, and I’m shattered. When I was pregnant, I started to notice my fiancé withdrawing from me emotionally and physically.

For my birthday, one week before our son was born, he got me a Starbucks gift card ($25) - that *was* the gift. For Mother’s Day, he handed me a dead bouquet of flowers he left in the garage overnight without water, and a card that should have been made out to his own mother - not the mother of his child.

We’ve had a dead bedroom since my pregnancy. I’ve communicated to him many times that I’d like for us to work on that (of course, parents of newborns sometimes go through a roommate phase - I would communicate with him that I’m ready to get back to it).

ADVERTISEMENT

To no avail, he continues to lay in bed watching TikToks while I get our son down for bed, and that’s that. Last night, I finally pushed for more direct communication around this feeling - why is he no longer interested in intimacy? After he skirted around some excuses, he finally tells me “I think you love me more than I love you.”

He explained that there are “levels” to love & that maybe we just are on different levels. I asked “has it always been that way?” To which he replies, “I guess I just love you less, now.” To say I’m shattered is kind of an understatement. If we’re being honest, I saw it coming. I could feel it.

I’ve spent my pregnancy and the last 6 months being the sole provider (especially financially) for our child. I juggle our baby while working from home. I do it all while fiancé is “out of town” for work most of the time. He says infidelity isn’t a part of this, but who knows.

ADVERTISEMENT

Our relationship was never like this before our son. Even though it’s not necessarily my fault, I feel like I already failed as a mother and wonder what my son will think as he gets older. My fiancé stated he’s hopeful we work through this, but I said I’m sorry - I can’t just make you love me more. What’s been said can’t be unsaid, you know?. 6 months postpartum and I’m about to be a single mom at 27.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Emma’s pain stems from Tom’s emotional abandonment during her vulnerable postpartum period, a time when partnership is critical. His “I love you less” confession, paired with thoughtless gifts and TikTok scrolling while she parents, reveals a failure to embrace fatherhood and support her. This isn’t a typical “roommate phase” but a deep relational fracture.

ADVERTISEMENT

Postpartum relationship challenges are well-documented. A 2023 Journal of Marriage and Family study found 40% of new parents face intimacy drops, often due to unequal caregiving (Journal of Marriage and Family). Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, states, “Mutual effort in parenting and emotional presence builds trust; absence breeds disconnection” (Gottman Institute). Tom’s minimal contributions—especially while Emma is the primary provider—highlight his immaturity, not her shortcomings.

Emma’s fear of failing as a mother is unwarranted; her proactive communication and caregiving show strength. Tom’s “levels of love” excuse, laced with sarcasm, dodges accountability, and his frequent absences raise infidelity concerns, though unconfirmed. Therapist Esther Perel advises, “When one partner disengages, the other must protect their dignity through clear boundaries” (Esther Perel). Emma should consult a lawyer for child support, seek therapy to process her grief, and build a support network, as Perel suggests. Her son will benefit from her modeling self-respect.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit erupted with a fiery blend of empathy and outrage, rallying behind Emma while torching Tom’s behavior. From calls to leave him to affirmations of her strength, the comments are a passionate barbecue of support. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − That is so awful. What a s**tty guy, I am so sorry.. You have not failed as a mother. Quite the opposite.

[Reddit User] − 'I feel like I already failed as a mother ' The only way you would have failed as a mother in this case is if you didn't try to address the problem with the child's father. You aren't responsible for what other people do/say. You're only responsible for what you do/say..

Here's some questions you could ask him.1. How does he plan to 'work this out'? I mean, I'm not even in your situation and I could name a few things off the top of my head. Spending more alone time together(have somebody babysit) by going on dates, be more involved in listening to you talk about life besides mother-talk, talk to a therapist, etc

ADVERTISEMENT

2. If he did want to work things out then how come he made no actions/effort and remained passive until you brought it up? I mean, I can't say 'I want to be a professional sports player' and then expect any good results while not practicing.

sifwrites − not a failure. your partner failed you. and by leaving you are not failing your child.  you are demonstrating appropriate personal boundaries instead of modelling what a lousy relationship looks like.  your baby will get to grow up with a capable and strong mum who shows him how to have self respect.  so sorry you are going through this tho. 

Mukduk_30 − He is not a good person. You are a good mother. You have your own income, and you're not married so no financial obligation to this man. Kick him out and you will notice that your life won't get harder because he already contributes nothing.

ADVERTISEMENT

You can get child support though, if he's on the birth certificate. But no alimony since you're not married. You sure he wants cheating while out of town? Either way, I hope you're safe and can cut ties. He is not a dad and he is not reliable

Ok-Marsupial-1273 − You’re doing your son a favor by showing him no woman deserves to be treated that way. He will grow up respecting women, not looking at you as a failure. You deserve happiness and he’s made it clear you won’t find that with him. I’m sorry this is happening. You’re young and have your whole life ahead and will find your person.

realfuckingoriginal − I hope you can at least hear that he’s the one who failed. It’s conditioned into us as women to take on all the burden of holding our relationships together and holding our men up no matter what. But the truth is that relationships only work if both people put in the work.

ADVERTISEMENT

And he has failed to do that on so many levels. Unfortunately there seems to be an epidemic of men who impregnate women, even intentionally, without truly having any idea what the implications of parenthood are. Without being ready or willing to toil the entire day to keep everything functioning.

Without being willing or even aware that they’ll have to center another being over themselves. Men are often not raised to take any responsibility over their own lives and that leaves them woefully underprepared to even conceptualize of what parenthood really means, much less to step up to that plate.

I’m sorry the man you love seems to be one of those, and is rejecting you as well as the lifestyle the new little one brings. Please know that whatever s**tty excuses he throws at you (baby weight or another surface level barb), his own inadequacy is what’s driving his behavior.

ADVERTISEMENT

That’s pretty clear from the Tik Tok scrolling - that’s not what present adults who have young children do. You did nothing to trigger this, and there was likely nothing you could have done to prevent this. And you are not a failure of a mother.

Success as a mother will mean teaching them to be and seek better than what you’ve experienced. And 27 is youngggg. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you and the best part? When you’re ready you’ll have more tools to help you find a man who fully shows up for you and your family.

AffectionateBite3827 − If I had to guess: you had the audacity to show your baby attention and affection (and grow up and get more serious about life because there's a baby here now!) and he was previously the one getting all your time and attention and it's just so unfair! And because he's immature as hell, rather than see you as a family-team and work with you, he's pouting and being hurtful and withholding affection to punish you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Pretty bold move considering he's living rent-free in your mom's house! I say kick him out, break off the engagement, and find out a child support/custody arrangement that is in your son's best interest.. You sound like a kind person in addition to a hard-working and loving mom. You deserve better.

rnngwen − Oh, he's cheating. 100%

mikraas − Some men don't get the full weight of their DNA deposit until it's to late. And then they fold like Superman on laundry day. You bf is weak and can't handle being a parent. I'm sorry you had to find out after it's too late.

ADVERTISEMENT

paper_wavements − He has shown you who he is. Believe him, leave him, talk to a lawyer, get your child support.. Please do this ASAP, as it will be easier on your child.

Redditors urge Emma to prioritize herself and her son, slamming Tom’s immaturity and suspecting infidelity. Many praise her as a capable mom, but some question if Tom’s side is fully heard. Do these bold takes capture the full story, or oversimplify the pain? Emma’s post has sparked a debate too raw to ignore.

Emma’s heartbreak is a stark reminder that love can falter when tested by parenthood’s demands. Tom’s confession of loving her less cuts deep, but Emma’s strength as a mother shines through, lighting her path as a single parent. With legal steps, therapy, and community support, she can rebuild a life where her son sees her worth. Can Emma rise above this betrayal to find joy again? Have you faced a partner’s emotional withdrawal during a life-changing moment? Share your thoughts below.

ADVERTISEMENT

For those who want to read the sequel: [UPDATE] 6 months postpartum, my (27F) fiancé tells me he (26M) “loves me less.” How to navigate emotionally as a single parent?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

One Comment