AITA for snapping at my parents for treating me more like a second mom than their daughter?

The clink of dessert spoons and laughter filled the air at a family gathering, but for Sarah, a 23-year-old expecting her first child, the warmth faded fast. Tasked yet again with wrangling her younger siblings, she barely savored her brownie sundae before her sister claimed it. Her dad’s casual remark—that she’d always be a “second mom”—cut deeper than she expected, crystallizing years of feeling more like unpaid help than a cherished daughter.

Now, with her parents giving her the cold shoulder after she snapped, Sarah’s left grappling with guilt and hurt. Pregnant and planning her own family, she wonders if she overstepped or if her outburst was a long-overdue stand. Readers are drawn into this messy blend of love, duty, and resentment, eager to unpack whether Sarah’s rebellion against her role will redefine her place in the family.

‘AITA for snapping at my parents for treating me more like a second mom than their daughter?’

Sarah’s outburst reveals a textbook case of parentification, where a child is thrust into a parental role. Her parents’ expectation that she prioritize her siblings’ needs, even over her own dessert, dismisses her identity as their daughter. Now pregnant, Sarah’s pushback was a natural response to years of unbalanced responsibility.

This issue is common in blended families. A 2021 study in Journal of Family Issues found 15% of eldest siblings in divorced families report parentification (Journal of Family Issues). Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Parentified children often feel invisible as individuals, leading to resentment” (Dr. Lisa Damour). Sarah’s dad’s “second mom” comment, paired with her parents’ defensive list of duties, underscores their reliance on her labor, not her personhood.

Sarah’s apology, while instinctive, may have weakened her stance—her parents’ silent treatment feels like a guilt trip to keep her in line. With a baby on the way, she must redefine her role. Therapist Virginia Satir’s advice resonates: “Families heal when boundaries are clear and roles are fair” (Satir Institute). Sarah should initiate a calm conversation, perhaps via letter, to express her need for respect as a daughter and set limits on sibling care. Her fiancé’s support is key—together, they can model healthy boundaries.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit swooped in with a fiery mix of cheers and tough love, roasting Sarah’s parents for leaning on her like free childcare. From calls to set boundaries to blunt warnings about their entitlement, the comments are a lively roast of family dysfunction. Here’s the raw scoop:

Redditors rally behind Sarah, urging her to prioritize her growing family and ditch the nanny role. Some see her parents’ silence as manipulation, others call it shame they can’t face. But do these hot takes oversimplify the family’s bond, or hit the nail on the head?

Sarah’s clash with her parents lays bare the toll of being cast as a second mom instead of a daughter. Her snap, though regretted, was a cry for recognition, and her parents’ chilly response only deepens the rift. With a baby on the way, Sarah deserves to reclaim her role as a loved daughter, not a family caretaker. A honest talk could mend things, but only if her parents listen. Have you ever felt trapped by family expectations? What would you do in Sarah’s shoes? Share your thoughts below.