WIBTA for making my kid give a gift she really wants for her bday to the person she stole from?
A mother’s heart sinks as she uncovers her 11-year-old daughter’s theft of a treasured Game Boy from a vulnerable cousin, followed by brazen lies and zero remorse. With a Nintendo Switch topping her daughter’s birthday wish list, the mother ponders a bold punishment: buying the console and having her daughter gift it to the cousin to atone for the theft. But as friends and Reddit users question the plan, she wonders if it’s too harsh for a child’s birthday.
This Reddit saga dives into a thorny clash of parenting, empathy, and consequences. Would this lesson curb her daughter’s entitlement, or risk deepening her resentment? Let’s explore this delicate balance of discipline and compassion.
‘WIBTA for making my kid give a gift she really wants for her bday to the person she stole from?’
The mother faces a critical parenting moment after her daughter stole from her vulnerable cousin, lied, blamed her sisters, and showed no remorse, reflecting entitlement likely worsened by inconsistent co-parenting. The proposed punishment of gifting a Nintendo Switch to the cousin aims to teach accountability but risks fostering resentment or using the cousin as a prop. The cousin’s distress highlights the theft’s severity, demanding a consequence that builds empathy.
A 2021 study in Journal of Child and Family Studies warns that harsh punishments without emotional coaching can increase defiance, especially with inconsistent parenting. Dr. Ross Greene’s collaborative approach suggests discussing the theft’s impact with the daughter to foster empathy, addressing underlying needs or skills gaps. The Switch idea, though creative, may alienate the daughter or exploit the cousin.
The mother should continue therapy, focus on empathy-building, and align with her husband on consequences. Alternatives like earning money through chores to replace the Game Boy or volunteering with the cousin could teach accountability without resentment. Balancing immediate restitution with future opportunities for a Switch prioritizes emotional growth.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Reddit users split down the middle, with some cheering the mother’s tough love and others warning of unintended consequences. Is the Switch punishment a masterstroke or a misfire? Here’s what the community tossed into the debate:
![[Reddit User] − NTA. I think this might be hard on your kid, but from what it sounds like it could be the wake up call she needs to end her s**tty behaviour. I would not gift her nothing, though, as it is still her birthday and she is still a pretty young child - on top of giving cousin the switch, give your daughter a small, but nevertheless meaningfull gift.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/175619cm-02.png)
![**Edit:** I guess it would be more accurate to day Everyone (Would) Suck Here (If You Went Through With It). I'm not saying that you, at present, suck.. **Edit 2:** \[\*sigh\*\] On the point about 'teaching sociopathy', a few things. One, I'm not saying that Daughter is or will become a s**iopath - it's the concept that OP will inadvertently be instilling the idea that although Daughter did wrong, buying expensive gifts will make up for it.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/175619cm-08.png)
These Reddit takes are passionate, but do they strike the right balance between discipline and empathy, or do they miss the mark on long-term impact?
This mother’s struggle to curb her daughter’s theft highlights the challenge of balancing discipline with empathy. The Switch plan, though bold, may deepen defiance rather than teach accountability, especially given the cousin’s vulnerability. Restitution and therapy offer a path to growth. Have you navigated a tricky parenting discipline dilemma? Share your thoughts in the comments and let’s keep this convo going!
