AITA for refusing to sell my rental properties at my fiance’s request?

In a chic urban townhouse, where love once bloomed over shared dreams, a couple’s wedding plans ignite a financial firestorm. A 36-year-old man, proud of his savvy real estate investments, faces his fiancée’s relentless push to sell his rental properties for a lavish wedding and lifestyle upgrades. As the summer nuptials loom, their clash over money reveals starkly different priorities, turning cozy evenings into frosty standoffs.

This tale of clashing wallets captures the tension of blending lives and finances. The original poster (OP), a cautious saver, stands firm on keeping his income-generating properties, while his fiancée, a free-spirited spender, eyes a cash windfall. Their blowout argument, laced with jabs about debt and spending habits, pulls readers into a relatable saga of love tested by dollar signs.

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‘AITA for refusing to sell my rental properties at my fiance’s request?’

Throwaway because you know.. Two years ago I(36M) proposed to my fiance(30F), and our wedding is going to be this coming summer. When we met we both owned properties. She owned a pretty typical luxury townhouse, and I owned two properties in the inner city.

We both agreed that when it was time to cohabitate, we'd live in her condo. I own an old 2 up 2 down duplex in a neighborhood that butts right up against an old industrial area, which I was living in until we moved together. and on the next block I also own a \~4000 sq ft concrete block industrial building.

I got them as part of a screaming package deal about 12 years ago when you couldn't give property away in that neighborhood. I now rent the duplex to a couple of hispanic families (and god I hope they never leave me - best renters ever) and I rent half of the factory building to a guy who does HVAC and the other half to some microbrewery hipsters.

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The powers of gentrification have been at work in this hood for about half the time I've owned these places and I'm making beaucoup bucks on these rentals - I could lose my job tomorrow and not even blink.. MY FIANCE DOES NOT SEE IT THIS WAY. Ever since we've moved in together she's been pestering me to sell the places.

It's been ramping up the closer we get to the wedding. I keep telling her that as long as I own these places, its a practically guaranteed third source of income and would be invaluable if either of us hit a rough patch job-wise.

She doesn't see it that way though, all she sees is a potential big pile of liquid cash that can go towards wedding, honeymoon, and upgrades to the living situation after. We had the biggest blowup yet about it last saturday and I kind of lost it.

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I'm a saver and she's a spender and I said that to her in far less pleasant terms, and also mentioned the amount of credit card debt she has, and since then things have been pretty frosty.. AITA for refusing to sell my second income?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

A fiancée’s demand to sell lucrative rentals for wedding bells and a bigger house can feel like a rom-com plot gone awry. The OP, a prudent investor, sees his properties as a financial safety net, while his fiancée envisions a cash-fueled lifestyle upgrade. Their explosive argument, highlighting her credit card debt and spending habits, exposes a deeper rift: incompatible money mindsets threatening their future.

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Financial disagreements are a leading cause of relationship strain. A 2023 survey by the American Institute of CPAs found 73% of couples clash over spending habits, with savers and spenders often at odds. The OP’s fiancée, burdened by debt yet eyeing lavish upgrades, may prioritize immediate gratification, while his focus on long-term stability clashes with her vision.

Financial expert Suze Orman advises, “Couples must align on financial goals before marriage, or money will tear them apart.” The OP’s refusal to sell is prudent, given the properties’ steady income, but his harsh words during their fight may have deepened the divide. Her debt and spending suggest a need for budgeting, not liquidating assets.

Premarital counseling could bridge their gap, with 65% of couples reporting improved financial communication post-counseling, per a 2022 Bridal Guide study. A prenup, as Reddit suggests, could protect the OP’s assets while fostering open talks about debt and budgets. This story underscores the need for financial harmony before saying “I do.”

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit jumps into this financial fray with sharp wit and sage advice. Most side with the OP, praising his savvy for holding onto income-generating properties and cautioning against selling for fleeting expenses like weddings.

Many highlight the couple’s stark financial differences, urging prenups and counseling to address her spending and debt. Some add humor, warning of “gold-digger” vibes, but all agree: money talks must happen before vows.

QueenMoogle − NTA. And I'm letting you know now, a wedding will not stop the two of you from fighting over finances. It sounds like you both handle money *very* differently, and she also seems as though she's eyeballing your cash as a way of supporting her lifestyle. If I were you, I'd sort this out before getting married.

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belleandbean − PRENUP!!!!! NTA

wheredidalfgo − NTA. As a female, I want you to really take a look at the differences in your relationship. When I was in pre-marriage counseling, the therapist said 'The problems and fights you have now are going to be the problems and fights you have in the future. Whatever it is, money/s**/family, those problems don't go away with marriage.'

You're both so different with money, you're always going to fight about it. Furthermore, the fact that you bought low and are making money and she doesn't see that as a good thing, tells me she is not smart. Like, this is some common sense stuff. Think long and hard about marrying her, dude.

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TiraAnya − NTA: I was once told 'if you own land keep it. God isn’t making more.”. It’s succinctly accurate

realestate_reptile − I will be having a sit-down with her this coming weekend. We're both off work and all of yuo are right - this needs to be hashed out more.

tzarina74 − NTA. And I'd get those assets into an LLC or sole trust ASAP if I were you.

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paspartuu − NTA Do not give in. It's sheer madness to blow assets like this on something as frivolous as a wedding and honeymoon. Also I'd prepare for the marriage by having some serious discussions about money and dividing expenses in your marriage, separating your finances and having a prenup if I were you, honestly. Your last paragraphs about her massive credit debt and having a spender mentality are a bit worrying.

Money is the No1 thing couples fight about iirc, and not seeing eye to eye on questions about savings vs lifestyle, adjusting your spending to your income to avoid debt etc are gonna lead to you both becoming incredibly frustrated with each other in a relatively short time if you won't figure it out

[Reddit User] − NTA, she just wants you to sell it so she can help you spend it. Didn’t you guys set a budget for the wedding and honeymoon? If not, you should set one and keep to it.. That income is your insurance against not having an income. Why in the world would you just blow it?

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realestate_reptile − I see some people asking about the amounts and what it would be spent on. I won't go into exact details but the amount is 'a lot' - more than I'll probably ever see in one lump sum in my lifetime again.

The upgrades to the living sitch would most likely be her selling her condo too and her finding the biggest house she can find at the ragged edge of what we can afford and us moving there, combining finances.

I'm perfectly happy with her 3-bedroom townhouse - even if we have kids its more than enough room imo. Since we've moved together, she's been handling the mortgage and I've been paying most of the day-to-day bills.

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Between her townhouse, her Audi, and her credit cards she's got a lot of debt, but she has a great career and isn't having trouble paying down - but she doesn't save much of what's left.

old__pyrex − NTA. Let's call Kanye West to see if he can provide a breakdown of this situation:. ​ 'NOW I AINT SAYING SHE A GOLD DIGGER, BUT SHE WANT YOU TO SELL OFF LONG TERM INVESTMENTS THAT MAKE YOU GOOD MONEY IN THE INTERIM

SO THAT SHE HAS A FAT PILE TO BLOW THROUGH PLANNING AN ELABORATE SOCIAL MEDIA STUNT OF A WEDDING AND HONEYMOON'. ​. Ok, thanks Kanye, you can go now, thank you for the astute assessment-. ​. 'WE WANT PRENUP, WE WANT PRENUP, YEAH!'

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From wedding dreams to financial feuds, this couple’s clash over rental properties reveals how money can strain even the strongest bonds. The OP’s stand to keep his investments highlights the value of security, but their future hinges on aligning financial values.

As they approach their big day, open dialogue is key. Share your thoughts—how do you navigate money differences in relationships?

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