Help. I don’t recognize my (31M) fiancee (29F) after deployment.

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A soldier returns from the battlefield, expecting a joyful reunion with the love of his life. Instead, he’s met with a stranger’s face—his fiancée, unrecognizable despite her familiar embrace. After 18 months of deployment and a stellate ganglion block (SGB) treatment for PTSD, a 31-year-old man faces a heart-wrenching reality: he can’t connect his fiancée’s face to the woman he proposed to. As their wedding plans falter, he grapples with a neurological mystery that no therapist has solved.

Can love endure when recognition fades? This Reddit saga explores a soldier’s fight to reclaim his bond amidst possible brain trauma or treatment side effects. Was he wrong to seek answers online, or is this a cry for help beyond conventional care? Let’s dive into this haunting tale of love and loss.

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‘Help. I don’t recognize my (31M) fiancee (29F) after deployment.’

I was deployed for a second time for 18 months as part of a direct action and counter insurgency operations group. Before my second deployment, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years and we worked on the basics of our wedding plan, with her taking over the majority of the planning while I was deployed.

Prior to my second deployment, I was administered 'Stellate ganglion block' or SGB treatment for PTSD which greatly alleviated my symptoms so I continue to operate within my required parameters. I returned 3 months ago and my fiancee was picking me up with our dogs.

I didn't recognize any of them except for the sign she was holding with my name. I thought she had sent a friend to pick me up and drive me to our apartment. My fiancee was shocked, considering she jumped on me to give me a hug and I was thoroughly confused as to who she was.

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I'm having trouble putting her face to her name and her personality. It feels like I'm engaged to my fiancee but she does not look like my fiancee. All my pictures of her are the same, and I don't recognize them in hers anymore either.. I've been to several therapists and psychiatrists without any help. None of them has solved these issues.

How do I re-establish my fiancee to the person that I physically see? Everything else is the same, personality, mannerisms, how we act together but every time I look at her I have to remind myself that this is the woman I proposed to. This is straining my relationship with the love of my life beyond belief. Please help. No professionals have been able to help us. I don't know who else to reach to.

This soldier’s inability to recognize his fiancée’s face screams neurological disruption, likely prosopagnosia (face blindness) or a related agnosia, where the brain struggles to process visual recognition despite intact memory and emotions. His deployment history raises the specter of traumatic brain injury (TBI), common in counterinsurgency operations, while the SGB treatment—though effective for PTSD—introduces a rare but possible link to neurological side effects. His distress is compounded by the emotional toll on their relationship, as he fights to reconcile his love with a stranger’s face.

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A 2021 study in Neurology notes that prosopagnosia can stem from TBI or, less commonly, neurological interventions affecting the fusiform gyrus, critical for face recognition. While SGB is lauded for reducing PTSD symptoms by calming the sympathetic nervous system, a 2023 case report in Journal of Pain Research flagged rare instances of transient neurological symptoms post-SGB, though none confirmed prosopagnosia.

Dr. Oliver Sacks, in The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, described visual agnosia as a profound disconnect between perception and recognition, often tied to brain injury. This aligns with the soldier’s symptoms, suggesting a neurologist specializing in cognitive disorders is crucial. A referral to a researcher like Brad Duchaine at Dartmouth, as suggested on Reddit, could offer cutting-edge insights.

He should pursue an MRI and neuropsychological testing to pinpoint the cause—TBI, SGB-related, or otherwise. Meanwhile, focusing on non-visual cues (her voice, scent, or touch) may strengthen their bond, as Reddit advised. Couples therapy could help them navigate the strain.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit jumped into this one like a squad on a mission, blending empathy, speculation, and practical advice. Is this a neurological quirk, a deployment injury, or a treatment misfire? Here’s what the community brought to the fight:

[Reddit User] − Is it just a problem with her? Or do you have a problem connecting with other people? There is actually a condition where people cannot physically recognize faces.

boojieboy − Hey OP! My wife and I have a background in psychology and neuroscience, and we both agree with the general thrust of most commenters here: your problem definitely sounds neurological and consulting with a clinical neuropsychologist sounds like a good idea. Psychiatrists and other doctors dont really have the training or background to help you.

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HOWEVER: your particular case may even be strange enough for your regular run-of-the-mill doctors, and you might want to seek the help of one who specializes in these disorders. She pointed me to a guy who's doing a lot of original research on prosopagnosia.

His name is Brad Duchaine, and he's currently at Dartmouth. Maybe try contacting him and ask for a consult. We think your case is fascinating, and it might be just the sort of thing a researcher wants to study. For your own part, you might benefit by getting the expertise of someone who is a specialist.

If he cant help you, he cna probably point you to someone who can. One more thing: I think the SGB connection is a red herring. Much more likely that this an outgrowth of TBI from some part of what you experienced on deployment.. Good luck, and be sure to come back and tell us what you learn.

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Bomberman64wasdecent − Friend, we neckbeards of reddit are not qualified to help you here. Keep seeking professionals. Best of luck to you.

freedcreativity − Was this part of the RTI study on stellate ganglion blocks? You should contact the center which administered the treatment, this could be a rare side effect. Sounds like prosopagnosia, which is a neurologic disability recognizing faces.

x5050x − Have you read Oliver Sacks ‘The man who mistook his wife for a hat’? That particular case revolves around something called visual agnosia. I can’t say it will help, but doing some research on that might help with how to cope with what you’re going through?

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junkfoodmama − This sounds like one of those crazy episodes of law and order that I saw a while back where the mom hit her head pretty hard and couldn't recognize her daughter anymore. When she looks at her she thought that she was basically like an imposter pretending to be her daughter, she would respond to her voice but when looking at her couldn't see her 'real daughter.' Have you seen a neurologist about this? There might be an underlying medical issue going on.

Lockshala − This sounds like a form of agnosia to me. Do these sound like your symptoms?. If so, get to therapy now! In the mean time, start focusing on non-visual attributes that are familiar to you with her. Her smell, how she walks, the sound of her voice. Eventually you will begin to associate her with non-visual traits, which might help your nerves a bit. Same goes with your dogs, memorize the feel of their fur, the texture of their collar, their noises...

RecalcitrantJerk − Neurologist. I'm very sorry you're going through this. You need to see a neurologist to rule out anything that is going on cognitively. If there's nothing physically wrong you can proceed to a psychologist who can help figure this out, but first - neurologist.

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AdnanS0324 − Holy s**t that's crazy. I don't know what to say except, thanks for your service. Sorry bud, if professionals haven't been able to help, I don't think any of us idiots on r/relationship_advice will be able to help you.

[Reddit User] − You need to get off Reddit and talk with your primary care provider immediately. This is not a normal side effect. I have also done my time in the Navy and undergone an SGP treatment for my own PTSD. This should not have happened.

Did you feel immediate relief? Or at the very least relief within 30 minutes of your procedure? It should work there fast. I can't stress this enough that this is not a normal side effect at all and you need to go see your doctor. Not Reddit. Please go see your doctor.

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Please I don't mean to sound harsh brother, I've been on the other end of PTSD and it isn't easy. It's hard. Everyday is a struggle for me too. And if you are scared of getting Medboarded don't stress that. For s**t that's directly service connected like this you'll get medically retired and a decent VA rating.. Please. Get. Help.

These Reddit voices are a rallying cry, but do they crack the case or just echo the soldier’s desperation?

This soldier’s struggle to see his fiancée’s face is a stark reminder that war’s scars can rewrite love’s script in unthinkable ways. Whether it’s TBI, a rare SGB side effect, or another neurological twist, his fight to reconnect is as brave as any battlefield stand. The path forward lies with specialists, not Reddit, but his story begs us to ask: how do you hold onto love when perception fails? Have you faced a medical mystery that tested your relationships? Drop your stories in the comments and let’s keep this vital conversation alive!

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