AITAH For telling my friend her kid is a demon?

In a cozy suburban home buzzing with the laughter of children, one woman found herself in a whirlwind of chaos that no parenting book could prepare her for. Pregnant and juggling a house full of kids, she’s the go-to babysitter for her friend group, a role she embraces with warmth and patience. But when her friend Karen’s son unleashed a storm of violence—think shattered plants, swatted cats, and a stinging slap to her face—she reached her breaking point.

The incident wasn’t just a bad day; it was a wake-up call that tested her limits and her friendship. With her own children’s safety at stake and a baby on the way, she made a tough call that sent ripples through Karen’s life, sparking a heated debate. Was she wrong to speak her truth, or was she protecting her home from a situation spiraling out of control?

‘AITAH For telling my friend her kid is a demon?’

I (27F) I am currently having complications with a friend that we will call Karen (28f) for this situation. So some context on the situation is I have a lot of kids, and I mean a lot (3 weeks from due date currently) I’m also typically our friend groups trusted babysitter when anybody has something come up with their daycare.

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So I’m pretty used to an array of different personalities when it comes to kids in my everyday life. Myself and this friend have two very different parenting styles, I’m more communicative and personally don’t believe in corporal punishment as redirection/explanations make more sense to me.

She is more of the southern style of raise her voice, if you don’t hear her the first time, you’re gonna feel her hand on the second. That being said, I have finally came to the conclusion of I just can’t watch her oldest kid anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever met a more angry child before in my life, and I’m by no means blaming the child for his temperament, but it’s just not something that I can personally handle anymore.

He doesn’t follow any sort of directions, even simple ones, without lashing out violently. He goes out of his way to physically hurt anything without any warning and I mean anything. The cat, any child, big kid, adult, the freaking house plants. The scary part is he always laughs and then follows up with name calling, swearing, or a lovely shrieking sound that would put any coyote to shame.

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I know this is really messed up to say, but it’s like a rerun of the orphan Movie irl when dealing with this kid. Yesterday he walked up to me asking for a snack and before I could even lift my head from washing dishes he slapped me as hard as he could. It took everything in me to keep from crying because that would obviously freak out my littlest babies in the house.

I put him in my spare room (time out) away from the other kids so I could not only take a breath, but reduce the amount of damage that he was currently doing in that moment. Mind you the situation is completely foreign to me because I can’t even count how many kids I’ve watched over the years and I’ve never found myself afraid of a kid.

After the incident I called Karen and told her she needed to immediately come get her son and make other arrangements for him, but I could handle her youngest still to help her save money. She went on to say he’s “really not that bad” and she doesn’t think it’s fair that I’ve never said I wouldn’t watch anyone else’s kids.

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After months of having patience, I finally snapped and said well none of our other friends have kids that act like a literal demon. I asked her if he really wasn’t that bad then he had slapped me in the face and why was he currently tearing apart my spare bedroom? If he was so easy to handle then why do I have to constantly be in fear that he’s gonna hurt not just me but another child in my care.

She said she couldn’t leave work and I needed to learn how to better manage the kids in my care. I was honestly so shocked and frustrated that I got on Facebook and messaged the father of her kids to come get them even though I know it wasn’t his day.

I tried to call her again to let her know he was coming to get them, but she wouldn’t answer her phone for myself or him.  At 8pm that night (4 hours after she was supposed to be off) she showed up at my house looking for her kids. I told her they were with their father and her son‘s behavior has been reported to dad.

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Now she’s saying I potentially ruined her court case for primary custody because dad had to pick up the kids and realized she was MIA with no idea that he even had the kids for hours. I told her it wasn’t my fault and she had two breaks she could’ve called either of us back on, but chose not to.. So Reddit, AITAH?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Parenting clashes can turn even the closest friendships into battlegrounds. The woman’s struggle with Karen’s son highlights a stark contrast in discipline styles—her communicative approach versus Karen’s harsher methods. The child’s violent outbursts, from attacking pets to striking adults, suggest deeper issues that demand attention. Karen’s dismissal of the behavior as “not that bad” raises red flags about her awareness of her son’s needs.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: unaddressed behavioral problems in children. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, about 1 in 10 children may exhibit disruptive behavior disorders, often linked to inconsistent parenting or environmental stress (https://www.aacap.org). Dr. John Walkup, a child psychiatrist, notes, “Early intervention is critical for children showing aggressive behavior, as untreated issues can escalate into serious consequences” (https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org).

Dr. Walkup’s insight applies directly here—the child’s actions, like laughing after violence, signal a need for professional evaluation. Karen’s refusal to act may stem from denial or stress, but it risks her son’s well-being. The woman’s decision to involve the father was a protective step, prioritizing safety over loyalty.

For solutions, open dialogue is key. The woman could suggest Karen seek a counselor for her son, framing it as support rather than criticism. Setting firm boundaries, like refusing to babysit, protects her family while encouraging Karen to act.

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See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of support and spicy takes that could rival a soap opera. Here’s what the community had to say about the drama:

alv269 − NTA. It sounds like that kid needs professional help. The behavior is not normal. The mom also sounds like a gem /s. You were right to call the dad and I hope this does mess up her court case.

beek_r − NTA If you hadn't done something and that child had hurt another in your care, you'd be blamed. This child isn't being parented properly, and that's not your fault. It's also not your fault that this woman is going to lose primary custody - it's something she did to herself. Going forward, I'd refuse to watch any of her children, because she sounds like someone who'd try to get even in some way.

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Waitingforadragon − I can understand why you took the action you did. I mean the following criticism kindly, because I think it’s something you need to work on for your own good. By saying this, I’m not suggesting you are the one at fault here. You’ve been a doormat and you’ve let your friend take advantage of you for way too long.

You ought to have backed out of helping from the moment you realised that her son was a danger to you and your other children. I think it would be wise for you to look into why you are bending over backwards for people who don’t appreciate you. Look after yourself more in future.

Your friend is clearly in the wrong, both by not addressing this behaviour and by taking advantage of you. It’s outrageous of her to ignore calls from both you and her ex when she knew that there was a situation going on with her son.

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And unacceptable for her to turn up 4 hours later than she was supposed to. You haven’t got the time in your life to deal with her or her drama. Put yourself and your own family first and focus on the baby you are about to have. The last thing you need right now is more stress.

JTBlakeinNYC − NTA. Her son was a real and present danger to every child and animal in your home. He needs professional psychiatric help before he seriously hurts someone.

ValidXee − It’s completely abnormal. The way your friend is raising her child wrong. The results of her sadistic upbringing can already be seen in her child’s behavior. My opinion - your friend’s child and the friend herself should be sent to a counselor before this escalates into something more horrible. You’re doing a good job of identifying the problem. Absolutely NTA

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Relatents − His behavior changes showed something is wrong. Taking action to protect him even when it’s from a friend shows that you are putting his safety and his future first. NTA for protecting him, your other children, and yourself. Children rely on adults to protect them until they are mature enough to protect themselves and later protect the next generation.

Altruistic_Ladder_19 − I had a friend like that. Her 4 (almost 5) year old son tried to strangle my 3 year old. I called her on the way to the hospital to get her demon spawn and was told he wasn't the problem, my child just needed to do as her angel said and they wouldn't have been hurt.

She finally collected Damien - a la Omen - after I said I would call the police next. Then, 2 days later, CPS was at my door for serious child abuse allegations. I let the local PD know about the issue, and her boy was watched all the way through elementary school to make sure he behaved.

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Disastrous-Panda5530 − NTA. I wouldn’t offer to watch the youngest either. I could see her trying to drop them both off. It isn’t safe to have him around. What if he had punched you in your belly while pregnant? What if he hurts another kid? He is a liability to have in your home. He needs professional help and he is unsafe to have in your home. And if Karen ever tries to drop him off again I would let her know you’d report her for abandonment.

ChocolateLilly − You are pregnant and have more kids in the house so you are NTA. You did best for them but calling their dad. I was going to say to inform CPS just in case, but the last 2-3 sentences told everything.. Hope for an update

Active_Major1549 − Keeping that kid in your home would have been endangering g yourself, your unborn baby, and every kid in that house! That woman is not your friend if she is acting that way, just someone who uses that title to take advantage of you. 

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These opinions light up the thread, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames?

In a world where parenting styles collide, this story reminds us that protecting our loved ones sometimes means making tough calls, even if it burns bridges. The woman stood her ground, prioritizing her family’s safety over a strained friendship, but the fallout left everyone questioning who’s really at fault. What would you do if faced with a child’s uncontrollable behavior in your home? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to draw a line with a friend’s parenting choices?

For those who want to read the sequel: [UPDATE] AITA For telling my friend her kid is a demon?
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