[UPDATE] My (36F) daughter’s (18F) friend (18F) stole a $4900 watch from my husband (56M) and we don’t know how to tell her parents

The warm glow of a family home flickered with unease as a couple uncovered a hidden truth behind a $4,900 watch’s disappearance. Their daughter’s 18-year-old friend, a frequent guest, had been quietly pilfering valuables, amassing nearly $6,000 in stolen goods. The 36-year-old mother and her 56-year-old husband, initially stunned by security footage, faced a new twist: the thief was selling items online to ease her family’s debts. Their choice to confront her parents revealed a story far messier than they’d imagined.

This update dives into a tale of empathy triumphing over anger, as the couple opted for compassion over retribution. Readers might feel the weight of their decision, balancing justice against a young woman’s plea for redemption. It’s a story that tugs at the heart, asking how far kindness should stretch when trust is broken.

For those who want to read the previous part: My (36F) daughter’s (18F) friend (18F) stole a $4900 watch from my husband (56M) and we don’t know how to tell her parents?

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‘[UPDATE] My (36F) daughter’s (18F) friend (18F) stole a $4900 watch from my husband (56M) and we don’t know how to tell her parents’

My (36F) husband (56M) and I decided to talk to her (18F) parents (40s) because she lives with them and we thought telling them was the best thing. Well, according to them, they suspected that she was doing something wrong because she was 'receiving' more and more gifts from my daughter every day, because that's what she said they were.

We told them that our daughter only gave her a bracelet that was a birthday gift but that the rest of the things were never 'gifted', and fortunately they weren't offended and even promised to check her room to see if they could find our things. When they checked her room and her electronics they found even more things than we thought.

She has been stealing things from our house for months to sell them online on a second-hand clothing sales app. At home we live with four teenagers (18 16 14 12) who are constantly exchanging clothes, shoes and jewelry and often have arguments because one of them takes something from the other without permission, so when she stole several of my daughters' clothes they never suspected it was her.

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She sold all the clothes she stole from them and only had my daughter's earrings and necklace, a ring from my youngest daughter (8) and my husband's watch in her house. According to her, she did that because she wanted to help her father with some debts that he has because she didn't want to have to sacrifice college to reduce expenses.

She works as a nanny and sometimes that money wasn't enough to help her family and she noticed that since my daughter 'wasn't affected' by losing jewelry, so she thought about taking them because she needed them more. Her parents confirmed that they have a debt but they would never have thought she would do something like this to help.

They apologized and promised to return every penny of the things that were already sold but my husband told them that it was not necessary, that her giving us back the jewelry and the watch was enough. She gave us everything back and also apologized, and we told her that this time we were not going to involve the police but that not everyone would do the same if they caught her stealing again.

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We also made it clear to her that she's no longer welcome in our home and that my daughter will finish the project for both of them because we don't want her to be involved with her either. And that was it and we haven't heard from her since. A lot of people said we were idiots for not getting the police involved and the truth is we might be, but we weren't going to ruin an entire family's life over a watch and some earrings.

I also read comments saying that my daughter knew that she stole but that is not the case. She loses things all the time or sometimes her sisters take her things without permission so she never suspected that her friend was the one stealing from her, that's why she kept inviting her over.

Choosing forgiveness over punishment in the face of theft is a rare and bold move. The couple’s decision to forgo police involvement reflects a deep empathy for the 18-year-old’s intentions, driven by her family’s financial strain. Yet, her actions—stealing and selling items online—reveal a troubling pattern of deception that could resurface without intervention. The parents’ compassion, while admirable, risks enabling her if consequences remain light.

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Youth theft often masks deeper issues, like financial pressure or poor impulse control. A 2023 study by the National Institute of Justice found that 12% of college students engage in theft to cope with economic stress (nij.gov). Clear boundaries are crucial to redirect such behavior.

Dr. Laurence Steinberg, a youth behavior expert, notes, “Empathy must be paired with accountability to foster change in young adults” (steinberginstitute.org). The couple’s approach—recovering their items and barring the friend from their home—sets a firm line while offering a second chance. They wisely avoided financial demands, focusing on restitution of the watch and jewelry.

To prevent recurrence, the friend’s parents should consider counseling to address her motivations and decision-making. The couple might encourage their daughter to set boundaries with future friends, fostering vigilance without paranoia.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crowd served up a platter of reactions, from applause for the couple’s kindness to skepticism about the thief’s future. Here’s what they had to say:

SnooWords4839 − Ugh, I bet she steals from the people she is a nanny for.

DammitMaxwell − I’d be curious to know whether she actually contributed a single penny to her parents’ debt, but you handled this as well as you could.

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SimpleAccurate631 − I think you and your husband handled this situation so well, I wish more people read this. A lot of people wouldn’t have blamed you if you got really upset and called the police and reacted out of anger. But you took a very level headed approach to this.

You acted with empathy, while still addressing the issue directly, and by not putting your daughter on the spot to do something. You did everything right. Will the behavior change? That’s entirely up to how her parents handle the situation. I’m sorry your daughter had to lose a friend in this situation. Hopefully she’s taking it well

MissMurderpants − I think forgiveness is a great virtue and it might not be seen for a while but the act of kindness might go a long way to the girl. My own parents had a young relative steal from them.

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They didn’t press charges and just asked that relative to help them out with tasks. That relative was on the line of going to a bad end but this really changed the relative and they became a very productive helpful person to the entire family. I told them I was so very proud of them.. Im glad to hear your result.

tonidh69 − Well hopefully she learns a valuable lesson from this. Sounds like you handled it well. Life goes on

Alarming-Position-15 − Hold up. You're 36, with an 18 year old daughter and a 56 year old husband? So you were pregnant by as early as 17 (maybe 18) and we was 37/38? How is nobody asking what's going on here? How did you come to be 17 and dating a 37 year old man?

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Puppet007 − Unfortunately, while she won’t steal from your home anymore she’s going to keep stealing from others. But those others aren’t going to let her off as lightly as you did.

mpressa − Y’all better ppl than me, cause I would have called the police and demanded every single cent back

jcupgif − damn 20 year difference in marriage... when you were a new born he was 20 years old lol gross

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HospitalAutomatic − Did the parents even receive the money she was collecting from them?? I bet they didn’t

These lively opinions spark a debate: did the couple’s mercy set a powerful example, or did they let a thief off too easily?

This family’s journey through betrayal and resolution highlights the delicate dance of trust and forgiveness. By choosing compassion over confrontation, the couple not only reclaimed their valuables but also extended a lifeline to a young woman at a crossroads. Their story challenges us to weigh justice against mercy in our own lives. What would you do if a loved one’s friend betrayed your trust? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep this heartfelt conversation alive.

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