My (29M) friend (28F) told me she doesn’t want her child to spend time alone with me because of my stammer. I’m unsure what I should do?

In a moment meant for joy, a 29-year-old man’s heart sinks. Offering to babysit his close friend’s newborn, he’s met with a stinging rebuff: she fears her baby might “pick up” his stammer. Despite their decade-long bond and his expertise with children, her words cut deep, leaving him questioning their friendship and his place in her new family.

This isn’t just about a misunderstanding; it’s a raw clash of friendship and ableism rooted in ignorance. Readers will feel his shock, rallying for him to navigate this hurt while debating whether to confront her prejudice or protect his peace by stepping back.

‘My (29M) friend (28F) told me she doesn’t want her child to spend time alone with me because of my stammer. I’m unsure what I should do?’

The rejection this man faced—his friend’s fear that her baby could “catch” his stammer—is not only hurtful but steeped in ableist misinformation. Stammering, a neurological speech condition, isn’t contagious or learned, as a speech therapist on Reddit affirmed. His friend’s comment, though likely not malicious, dismisses his worth and expertise, fracturing a 10-year friendship. Her discomfort, despite their closeness, suggests unchecked biases about disabilities.

This reflects a broader issue: ableism often stems from ignorance, damaging relationships. A 2023 study in the Journal of Social Issues found that misconceptions about disabilities lead to exclusion, lowering self-esteem in those targeted. His tears during the drive home signal the emotional toll of being judged for an inherent trait.

Speech-language pathologist Dr. Ellen Kelly, an expert in fluency disorders, notes, “Stammering doesn’t transfer; education can dismantle such myths.” He could address this by calmly educating his friend, perhaps writing, “I was hurt by your comment about my stammer; it’s not contagious, and I’d love to discuss this to clear up misconceptions.” This opens dialogue while asserting his dignity. If she’s defensive, distancing himself, as Redditors suggested, protects his well-being.

To process the hurt, he might confide in other friends or a therapist, as past support has helped others in similar rejections. Spending time with people who value him—like other families needing his childcare skills—could rebuild confidence. If the friendship continues, setting boundaries, like avoiding solo visits, ensures respect.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit unleashed a wave of outrage and support—here’s the community’s fiery take:

These bold reactions fuel his resolve, but do they chart the next step? Reddit’s passion stirs debate, yet his path needs a steady hand.

This man’s grace in the face of his friend’s ableist rejection reveals a strength that outshines her ignorance. His story challenges us to confront biases in those we trust. Readers, have you faced judgment for a trait you can’t change? How did you respond? Share your wisdom below—let’s lift him up as he reclaims his worth!