[UPDATE] AITA for telling my fiancé I don’t want his best man coming to our wedding after what he did at my birthday dinner?

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The glow of wedding plans dimmed when a bride-to-be faced a storm of disrespect, but her resolve turned the tide. After a humiliating “joke” from her fiancé’s best man, Kyle, at her birthday dinner, she demanded his absence from their big day. For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for telling my fiancé I don’t want his best man coming to our wedding after what he did at my birthday dinner?. Now, with her fiancé’s reluctant support and a bombshell from Kyle’s girlfriend, the drama unfolds anew.

Her stand sparked a showdown, peeling back layers of loyalty and hidden tensions. Readers are hooked, wondering if her victory over Kyle’s toxicity will secure a drama-free wedding or stir more chaos. This Reddit update dives into the messy clash of boundaries and bromance, served with a wink and a nod to the power of standing firm. Let’s unpack the latest twist.

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‘[UPDATE] AITA for telling my fiancé I don’t want his best man coming to our wedding after what he did at my birthday dinner?’

Hey everyone thank you for the overwhelming support and comments on my original post. I didn’t expect it to blow up but reading the responses honestly gave me a lot of clarity and strength. So 2 days after I postedmy original post I sat down with my fiance again to clear the air.

I told him calmly that I wasn’t changing my mind about Kyle. That it wasn’t just about one joke it was about the fact that Kyle has never shown me respect. And then my fiance understood we had a bigger issue. He got quiet and listened to me and for the first time I think it really hit him how serious everything was.

A day later kyle texted me something along the lines “sorry if you were sensitive about the joke the other night wasn’t trying to ruin your birthday lol” I showed that to my fiance and he just sighed and said That’s just how he talks. So I said maybe then kyle can talk like that from his home because he’s not coming to our wedding.

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And now here’s the best part My fiance agreed. He wasn't too happy about it but he said if it really makes me uncomfortable then kyle won’t be there. He told that to kyle and he threw a whole fit about it. Ofcourse as usual called me controlling.

And then kyle’s girlfriend texted me yesterday “I’m honestly glad he’s not going because he’s been a nightmare about your wedding ever since you got engaged'. So yeah this exact thing made me realise what i did was absolutely the right thing to do and i dogged a bullet.. Now about the wedding it's still on. Just with one less toxic guest on the list.. Thank you all for giving me the push I needed to stand my ground.

Drawing a line at a wedding is never easy, but this bride’s saga shows the cost of tolerating disrespect. The OP’s firm stance against Kyle’s behavior—capped by his flippant “sorry if you were sensitive” text—won her fiancé’s support, though his initial hesitation raised eyebrows. Kyle’s girlfriend’s revelation about his ongoing wedding-related negativity cemented the OP’s decision, exposing deeper issues of loyalty and respect in the couple’s circle.

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This situation reflects broader challenges in setting boundaries. A 2022 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 65% of couples struggle with external influences, like friends, impacting their bond. The OP’s boundary protects her peace, but her fiancé’s slow response suggests a need for stronger alignment. Kyle’s malice, as his girlfriend hinted, underscores the risk of unchecked toxic friendships.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, emphasizes, “Love means prioritizing your partner’s emotional safety” (Gary Chapman’s website). The fiancé’s eventual support aligns with this, but his initial dismissal of Kyle’s behavior flags a gap in advocacy. Chapman’s framework suggests open dialogue to reinforce trust. The OP could affirm her fiancé’s choice while discussing how to handle future conflicts.

Moving forward, the couple should clarify expectations for friends’ behavior, perhaps setting ground rules for interactions. Workshops on communication, like those from The Gottman Institute, could strengthen their partnership. The OP’s resolve sets a precedent for mutual respect.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit posse roared back with a mix of high-fives and spicy shade, like a virtual watch party with popcorn and opinions galore. They dissected Kyle’s non-apology and his girlfriend’s tea-spilling text with gusto. Here’s the unfiltered buzz:

Tattyhead_xx − His girlfriend’s response sums up perfectly why you didn’t want him there. You have definitely dodged a bullet. He didn’t even apologise and blamed it on you for being “sensitive”. I’m glad your fiancé has your back. I hope you have a wonderful wedding.

Turbulent-Tomato − I’m really proud of you for standing your ground and protecting your peace. It’s so easy to second-guess yourself in situations like this, but you clearly made the right call, especially with Kyle’s girlfriend low-key confirming he’s been a problem.

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That said, I do hope she knows she doesn’t have to put up with that kind of behaviour and deserves better. Then again, I don't know her, maybe they’re two peas in a pod and deserve each other, who knows?

Either way, I hope your fiancé truly reflects on this and stops being a doormat for someone who clearly doesn’t respect either of you. Allowing someone to constantly disrespect the person you’re going to marry isn’t just “how he talks,” it’s a reflection of his poor boundaries and priorities.

But at the end of the day, you’re marrying him, not us, so I genuinely hope it’s worth it for you and that he continues choosing you moving forward in your marriage.. Wishing you a beautiful, drama-free wedding filled with people who actually uplift you!

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TicoSoon − I'm really curious about what Kyle's gf said. What has he been doing or saying? What kind of insufferable? (There's OMG I'M SO EXCITED AND I CAN'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE kind and then there's Ugh she is stealing my best mate kind.).

Why is his gf with him if she's seeing all of this?. But I digress. Kudos to you for standing your ground and having the tough conversation with your fiancé. And I'm really glad the lightbulb went on for him such that he agreed with you, even though it was hard.

Techno_Core − Show that text to your fiancé.. *'he’s been a nightmare about your wedding ever since you got engaged'*. I mean, come on!

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Gen-Xwmn − “Sorry if you were sensitive….” 🙄

Any-Expression2246 − *“sorry if you were sensitive about the joke the other night wasn’t trying to ruin your birthday lol”* . That's not an apology. Time to phase this dipshit out your lives for good.

bookworm-1960 − You should show his girlfriends text to your fiancé.

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4me2knowit − His n**ty little lol at the end said everything. Creep.

ChaoticallyMindful − Cool, but sure, just ignore how dismissive your fiancé was. That won't be a problem in the future...

Popular-Anywhere-462 − the gf message a proof he has malice intent toward you and your marriage. destroy him at every opportunity and occasion.

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Redditors hailed the OP’s backbone, with many side-eyeing her fiancé’s early passivity. Some urged her to keep an eye on his priorities, while others celebrated Kyle’s exit. But do these fiery takes capture the full vibe, or are they just stoking the drama? One thing’s clear: this wedding guest purge has tongues wagging.

This update proves that standing firm can shift the script, even in the stickiest of wedding dramas. The OP’s victory over Kyle’s toxicity, backed by her fiancé’s hard-won support, sets the stage for a day rooted in respect. Yet, the fiancé’s initial wobble lingers as a reminder to keep communication tight. Readers, what’s your take? Have you ever had to cut a toxic guest from a big moment? What would you do to keep the peace at your dream wedding? Drop your thoughts below!

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