My stepmom kissed my boyfriend on the mouth

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The glow of a birthday celebration, filled with laughter and clinking glasses, took a sharp turn into chaos for one young woman. In a cozy living room, with the TV blaring a game and party guests trickling out, a moment unfolded that left jaws on the floor. A 22-year-old watched, frozen, as her 38-year-old stepmother, swaying from too many drinks, planted a kiss on her boyfriend’s lips—not once, but with an attempt for seconds.

The stepmother’s breezy dismissal of the act as a “drunk oopsie” did little to soothe the sting of betrayal. This Reddit saga, brimming with raw emotion, dives into the murky waters of family loyalty, blurred boundaries, and the fallout of alcohol-fueled impulsivity. It’s a tale that grips you, stirring up questions about trust and what happens when lines are crossed in the heat of the night.

‘My stepmom kissed my boyfriend on the mouth’

My 22F stepmom 38F was drunk but it’s still crazy. My boyfriend is 26M. We were celebrating my boyfriend’s birthday. My stepmom loves to drink and she’s been drunk on many occasions. Usually she just becomes a louder and chattier version of herself. Shes gotten angry drunk a few times too.

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Maybe what kind of drunk she becomes depends on her mood. I have never gotten drunk and I don’t drink alcohol so maybe I’m ignorant on its effects but I find it hard to believe alcohol can bring this out?. Please correct me if I’m misinformed.

My boyfriend was sitting on a chair, but like reverse so he had his arms crossed, resting them on the backrest, and his head was on his arms. We were watching a game on TV and the birthday part had kind of winded down. Most of the guests were gone.

I was cleaning up. My stepmom was lounging outside and smoking. I missed some of the approach but my boyfriend said she just came up to him and she was slurring her words and the tv was loud so when she said something to him he didn’t catch it so he gestured for her to come closer and say it in his ear.

She leaned in and told him “You’re so handsome. Movie star eyes”. He said he just smiled back up at her and kinda laughed it off. He could tell she was very drunk. The rest of it I saw for myself. He returned his attention back to the tv.

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She reached out and touched his chin to get him to look back at her and then she leaned in and my boyfriend told me she said “happy birthday darling” and kissed him on the cheek and then suddenly on the mouth. If that wasn’t enough, she tried to kiss him again (on the mouth) but he pushed her face.

She laughed and I was so shocked I was frozen I don’t even remember what I said but I said something. I remember my boyfriend’s friend said “did she just kiss you?!” My stepmom just laughed it off and told us “don’t make a big deal out of it, it was an accident”

She won’t so much as apologize but when she got sober she approached me privately to tell me not to tell my dad.. AITAH if I tell my dad? Or is this really just not a big deal. I don’t want to cause stress for my dad. But I think this is a little too big to file away as a “drunk oopsie” (her words) and just forget about it..

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A drunken kiss at a family party might sound like a soap opera twist, but for the young woman caught in this mess, it was a gut-wrenching violation. The stepmother’s actions—kissing her daughter’s boyfriend and brushing it off—reflect a breach of trust, amplified by her plea to keep it from her husband. The boyfriend’s quick rejection shows his loyalty, but the stepmother’s dismissal reveals a deeper issue: accountability, or lack thereof.

This incident ties into the broader problem of alcohol’s role in boundary violations. A 2023 study by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism notes that excessive drinking impairs judgment, often amplifying underlying impulses. The stepmother’s behavior, while not excusable, aligns with this pattern, especially given her history of erratic drunken episodes.

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Dr. Carla Manly, a clinical psychologist, states, “Alcohol lowers inhibitions, but it doesn’t create desires from nothing; it often reveals what’s already simmering beneath”. Here, the stepmother’s flirtation and kiss suggest impulses she might typically suppress. Her refusal to apologize, coupled with her secrecy plea, points to self-preservation over remorse.

Honesty with the father, though painful, could foster transparency and set boundaries. Couples counseling or alcohol intervention programs, like those offered by AA, might help address the stepmother’s drinking. Encouraging open dialogue among readers about handling such betrayals can spark meaningful discussion and support.

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See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit community didn’t hold back, unloading a mix of outrage and practical advice. Most agreed the stepmother’s kiss was a serious violation, not just a drunken slip, with many labeling it as assault and infidelity. They urged telling the father, arguing that her secrecy plea shows she knew it was wrong. Others warned of potential gaslighting, emphasizing the need to protect the daughter’s relationship with her dad and her boyfriend.

The Reddit crowd’s fiery takes, from calling out the stepmother’s predatory behavior to pushing for family transparency, paint a vivid picture. Their consensus leans hard into accountability, offering a raw lens on how strangers view such a personal betrayal.

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Traditional-Trade795 − alcohol can do a lot of things to you, it can make you completaly lose control. however, as adults its our imperative to know our limits - she bears full responsibility.

she assaulted your boyfriend. thank god you witnessed because as drunk as she seems she was, she may claim it was your boyfriend that assaulted her since she was to drunk to consent.. you absolutely tell your father. his wife likes to drink and this is how she behaves drunk.

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ThisEnvironment6627 − YTA if your actually a dumb enough not to tell your dad that his wife “CHEATED” on him… she can’t say she was “drunk” if she remembered and approached you to keep it a secret. She knows what she did was wrong and didn’t get the reaction she wanted.

Mother_Search3350 − You all need to stay away from that drunk.. . And you need to tell your dad. Why TF are you thinking about keeping the fact that your father's drunk of a wife s**ually assaulted your boyfriend? 

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turtleblossom469 − She completely crossed a line with you, your bf and your father. My father is going through a divorce with a woman who is similar, drinks a lot, and is inappropriate. I caught her kissing a family friend on the lips many years ago. Now they are divorcing I shared it with my father.

He was upset because he said he suspected for years she was having affairs. I wish I had called her out at the time. My father could have left her years ago. She is now testing you, and because of her behaviour I’d put money on the fact that she will try to gaslight you to your Dad moving forward. You run the risk of losing your relationship with him.

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I’d sit him down, with your bf and with her. Say that this is uncomfortable but you’d like to put some boundaries down. She is not to flirt, kiss or touch your bf ever again. If she puts it back to being drunk, then let her know she needs to get some help on that if she is going to cross boundaries every time she drinks and can’t control herself.

jessiieehe1 − Your feelings are 100% valid. That wasn’t a harmless or accidental moment—it was a violation of your trust and your boyfriend’s boundaries. Alcohol might lower inhibitions, but it doesn’t create totally new behavior. It just reveals what’s already there. If you feel the need to tell your dad, that’s not being petty—it’s being honest about something that’s deeply inappropriate.

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ThisGuuuy2 − NTA. Tell your dad. F**k her.

Conscious_Guess9637 − Predator behaviour

[Reddit User] − Alcohol makes you to not hesitate, she wanted that kiss and used alcohol as an excuse, she's the AH

thePinkDoxieMama27 − Your stepmom is way out of line.. 1. She assaulted your bf. 2. She cheated on your dad. 3. She assaulted her step daughter's bf in particular. So she harmed your bf, your dad and you. 3 people all at once while inebriated.. Being drunk does not make any of this a woopsie! This is serious. You all need to figure out what's right for each of you and to set your boundaries.

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PerfectEqual5797 − It’s the right thing to do, yes. But make no mistake it’ll likely end in divorce. Which isn’t your fault at all even if you spill the beans. But be real about it. I’ll get downvoted to oblivion for saying that. But it’s true. It’s the right thing to do and will end in pain for everyone. Kinda sucks being the good person sometimes

This story of a drunken kiss and a plea for silence leaves us wrestling with trust, loyalty, and the messy aftermath of crossed boundaries. The stepmother’s actions, waved off as a mistake, ripple through a family, testing relationships.

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The resolution, as shared in the update, shows steps toward accountability, but the scars linger. Share your thoughts below on navigating such betrayals—how would you handle a family secret like this?

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