How do I [32F] tell my best friend [36F] that I got the book offer she has worked for her entire life?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture two friends, sprawled on a childhood bedroom floor, scribbling stories under the glow of a desk lamp, dreaming of literary fame. For one, that dream burned bright, fueling years of manuscripts and workshops; for the other, it was a fleeting fancy, tucked behind a thriving career. Now, at 32, the less devoted writer faces a twist worthy of her own plot: a major publishing house offered her a book deal for her lone novel, while her best friend, the “real” writer, got a rejection from the same publisher.

This Reddit saga, buzzing with raw emotion, isn’t just about a contract—it’s a gut-wrenching clash of joy, guilt, and fear of fracturing a lifelong bond. As she clutches the unsigned deal, her heart aches for her friend’s shattered dreams. How do you share your win when it feels like stealing someone else’s spotlight? The internet’s got her back, but the path forward is anything but clear.

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‘How do I [32F] tell my best friend [36F] that I got the book offer she has worked for her entire life?’

My friend, Dee, is -as far as I'm concerned- an excellent writer. We both loved reading and writing since we were kids, but she has geared her life towards writing. While it is not her profession, it is definitely her passion. She has a relevant Masters, has taken several classes, participated in several workshops etc

She has produced a great amount of writings, of various sizes and genres. She has written at least 4 complete books, paid for professional editors, proof-readers etc. I can honestly say I have loved reading *everything* she has ever sent me to read. Not only me but all of our friends are huge supporters of hers and hope/know she will make it big one day.

On the other hand, my approach to writing is... barely an approach. I attended the 1st of 8 workshops with her, have written *maybe* 10 things in my life, and while I enjoy it, it is neither a passion nor a hobby for me, partly because I don't have time. Dee has been incredibly supportive of me as well, always encouraged me to share my *one* complete book.

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On a very theoretical level (fantasy land), I would love to be a world-famous, inspirational, influential author (who doesn't?) but this has never been my *dream*. It is hers, and I truly believe she can do it. I already have a career I love and am successful in, so this is just not something I have ever really seriously considered.

While she had some success with her stories being published in some sites and anthologies, she has not managed to get a book deal with a publishing house. During her last wave of her sending her book out, she strongly encouraged me to send mine as well (i.e. 'do it do it do it pleeeeeease for me, so we can share the agony of waiting to hear back together').

I didn't really mind but I didn't want to spread too wide a net, so I chose one really big publishing, house and send my one book. Within 5 weeks they responded and offered me a book deal. In the world of publishing that is record speed. It even mentions clauses for any other works I may want to publish.

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She has been denied, from (if not all) most of the ones she reached out to, including the one I sent mine to. I have not told her. That was almost a month ago, and I am running out of time to sign the contract. I don't know how to tell her, I am incredibly hurt for her, I feel guilty, it all feels so unfair to me.

In my humble opinion I am in no way, shape, or form as good a writer as she is, so I suspect it was the genre/theme that got me through instead of her? I don't know what it was, and I don't know how to proceed. I know she will try to be happy for me but I also fear it will *destroy* her, and I fear our friendship. I don't know what to do.. How do I break it to her?

Landing a book deal is like catching lightning in a bottle, but for this woman, it’s a storm threatening her closest friendship. Her single novel snagged a rare offer, while her friend’s polished manuscripts hit a wall. The contrast stings, and her guilt reflects the unpredictable nature of publishing, where market trends often trump talent.

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Publishing is a brutal game. A 2023 report from Publishers Weekly (source) notes that only 1% of unsolicited manuscripts land deals, with editors prioritizing “marketable” genres over sheer quality. Her friend’s rejections likely stem from this, not a lack of skill. Literary agent Jane Friedman, in her blog (source), explains, “Publishing isn’t a meritocracy; it’s a business betting on what sells now.” The OP’s genre or timing likely hit the mark, not her prose outshining her friend’s.

Friedman advises writers to separate personal worth from professional outcomes, a lesson for both women. The OP should sign the contract—delaying risks losing it—and share the news gently, perhaps in writing, as Redditors suggest, to give her friend space to process. Acknowledging her friend’s talent and offering support (like connecting her with her agent) could ease the blow. Readers, reflect on navigating a friend’s envy without dimming your own shine—honesty and empathy pave the way.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit posse didn’t hold back, dishing out tough love and practical tips with a side of skepticism about publishing logistics. Here’s the unfiltered buzz from the crowd:

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[Reddit User] − First things first. Sign the contract. As a professional published author, I am sitting here tensing up at the thought of that unsigned contract timing out. Don't deny yourself this, the sacrifice won't change her luck and it *shouldn't* change your friendship.

KBD_in_PDX − Sign the contract. When you tell her the news, consider doing it in writing. This is just my own personal preference - but if I was your friend, receiving this news that will bring up COMPLICATED emotions - I would really appreciate the space to be able to work out those emotions alone, with privacy.

What I would do is to invite your friend to hang out/do something for the near future. Then, I'd let her know that I have some news I just received and want to share. Tell her that you heard back from Big Publishing House, and that they've picked up your book, and thank her for her encouragement and support.

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Strcnnmn − As a writer myself, I’m confused as to how you “submitted your novel to a big publishing house” and got a book deal five weeks later? Major houses do not accept unsolicited submissions. Have you and your friend been submitting to imprints? There’s no way to land a book deal like that without an agent unless it was a particular imprint or small press.

Has your friend not tried to land an agent instead? Not that I think you’re lying about the book deal but the situation sounds odd. Either way, it’s a rough situation, as your friend will likely be upset, but would probably still be happy for you and support you. It might feel worse if you wait too long to tell her. Go out for coffee or something and bring it up gently.

UnderlightIll − The fact is, a lot of book publishing has to do with current or soon future trends. If they don't think her book will have broad appeal, they may not offer a deal. There is also a new and annoying trend that publishers want everything to be fluffy, sweet and appeal to as many demographics as possible for their maximum profit.

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This always kinda sucks for writers because you can be really good and people love your writing but a publisher gets to decide if you are mainstream enough. Honestly, I would sign the contract but know it will hurt your friend. It is not your fault or even hers for feeling envious, it just happens. I went to school for art and I know people doing better and worse than me. It sucks if you work hard and just don't get picked up.

blackcatsneakattack − Yeah, none of this is how book deals work.

[Reddit User] − Sign the contract.. She may have to step back from your friendship for a while. Give her that space.. You shouldn’t feel guilty about getting a contract. Don’t make her feel guilty if she needs some space.

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LemDoggo − I don't know what the motivation would be to lie about this, but you don't submit manuscripts to publishing houses, that's your agent's job. I don't preclude the possibility that I might not know something,

but I'm not aware of any 'really big publishing houses' that accept unsolicited submissions. My understanding is you need a WGA signatory agent to submit on your behalf. If I'm wrong... OP, do tell who is accepting unsolicited submissions lol. Inquiring minds want to know.

strivingforstoic − First, review the contract with a lawyer, then proceed with signing if it’s a good contract. Publishing doesn’t “work” by who is a great writer—it cannot be earned or deserved—but by which piece is going to sell and make them money. [Hellooooooo 50 Shades of Gray] Your friend should be happy for you!

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creamboydreamboy − lol this sounds fake af. the funny thing is you’re not even a good writer…

Jesicur − Sign it Shrek

These Redditors rallied for her to seize the opportunity while bracing for her friend’s complex emotions. But do their blunt calls to “sign it” miss the delicate dance of friendship? One thing’s sure: this publishing plot twist has sparked a fiery debate.

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This woman’s book deal is a dream come true, but it’s laced with the bitter taste of her friend’s defeat. Her story lays bare the messy truth of success: it can strain even the tightest bonds when envy creeps in. Signing the contract is her right, but delivering the news with care is her challenge. As she steps into the spotlight, she’s learning that true friendship means celebrating wins while holding space for pain. Have you ever had to share good news that might hurt someone close? What would you do in her place? Share your thoughts below!

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