My (21f) boyfriend(31m) wants to meet my friends i don’t have any

Picture a cozy pub quiz night, the air buzzing with laughter and clinking glasses, where a shy 21-year-old woman meets her boyfriend’s lively crew. Fast forward, and he’s eager to meet her friends, unaware that her social circle is barely a handful—folks she only recently met through him. Her stomach churns at the thought of confessing she’s always been a bit of a loner, worried he’ll see her differently.

Her story is a heartfelt glimpse into the awkward dance of new love and old insecurities. With a Sunday meetup looming, she’s grappling with how to bare her truth without losing his spark. It’s a tale that pulls us into the quiet ache of feeling like an outsider, making us wonder: will honesty strengthen their bond, or expose a fault line?

‘My (21f) boyfriend(31m) wants to meet my friends i don’t have any’

I am meeting his friends on sunday. On our first date i meet some of his friends though a pub quiz. When i left school no one keep in touch. I have always felt a bit disconnected from people and like i was playing catch up. As a result i had no friends until the start of the year.

The problem is i met my bf through these people so he already knows them. I am only friends with 4 people. How do i tell him i have no good friends? How do i admit that i am a bit of a loner and always have been?

Opening up about a small social circle can feel like stepping onto a stage with no script. This young woman’s anxiety about admitting she has few friends stems from a fear of judgment, especially with an older, more socially connected boyfriend.

Her hesitation reflects a common struggle: social anxiety often isolates, making friendships hard to maintain. Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist, explains, “Social anxiety can make us feel like we’re ‘less than,’ but vulnerability builds connection” (Quiet Revolution). Her history of feeling disconnected since school likely fuels her worry that he’ll see her as “weird.”

The age gap adds complexity. A 2022 study from the Journal of Social Issues found that significant age differences in relationships can create power imbalances, especially when one partner feels less experienced socially (Wiley Online Library). His established friend group contrasts her sparse one, amplifying her insecurity.

Dr. Hendriksen suggests framing the truth positively: “I’ve always been selective with friends, but I’m excited about the ones I’ve met through you.” This invites closeness without shame. She should lean on her four new friends for support and explore resources like Anxiety and Depression Association of America to build confidence. Honesty now sets a foundation for trust, but she should watch for his reaction to ensure mutual respect.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit squad swooped in with a mix of warm hugs and raised eyebrows, like pals dishing advice over a late-night chat. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd, brimming with heart and a pinch of spice.

Blomtastic − Just be honest with him, if he really likes you he doesnt care that much that you only have 4 friends. Its better to have a small circle of friends that are close and actually care about each other and are really there for you, than those people with tons of “friends” but only speak to eachother when they need them.. Edit: changed “cirkel” to circle,

StopTrickingMe − My husband didn’t have any friends when we met. We’ve been married for 8 years and he only really has one friend now, that he met at work. He had another friend from work but he switched jobs and their politics made it so that they have not maintained a friendship.. To me, having or not having friends doesn’t indicate a problem and I’d suggest just being honest.

kmurphy798 − You just tell him. I am also 21, and I have zero friends from high school that I’m still in contact with regularly today. All of my friend I met in college and she also knows. That’s okay and it’s common. Just say you grew apart from them and don’t keep in touch. He’s not going to think you’re a weird loner or anything, don’t worry

aduffduff0207 − Better to have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.

super-hot-burna − This is gonna sound harsh and is not a reflection of OP but .... If this dude is willing to seriously date a 21 year old as a 31 year old something tells me her lack of friends isn’t going to register on his “problemometer.”

Spoonbills − 'You've met most of the people I'm close to, outside of college friends who all live in other places. One of the things I like about dating you is how many people I meet through you.'

BrightTemperature − Considering he is chasing a 21 year old, I'm assuming he will celebrate that you don't have many friends so he can mold you into his dream girl. as a 31 year old, I would end friendships if someone brought a 21 year old significant other to a social event. Creeeeeepyyy..... it's weird that you're totally boyfriend and girlfriend and yet he seems to know nothing about you? lol

LastResortsSuck − My partner only really has the one friend she still keeps in contact with and one or two others she talks to online.. Whatever, more time for her and I to hang out. :D

calactus7 − When I first met my SO, she had no friends, no connections, other than some family. She's the sweetest person, and just had back luck with friendships. I didn't think it was an issue, since I knew whe was a great person. Now she's friends with my friends, and I see that she's more than capable of maintaining friendships, and all my friends like her. Just be honest!

peterwhitefanclub − he's 10 years older than you, and you have no other friends...this is not a good combination

Redditors cheered her to own her truth, with some waving red flags about the age gap. Their mix of support and skepticism stirs the pot—do they nail the vibe, or are they overcooking the drama? One thing’s clear: her confession has sparked a lively debate.

This woman’s fear of revealing her loner side is a raw reminder that love often demands we bare our soft spots. Whether she spills the truth or sidesteps, her courage to face this moment shines. Reddit’s split between “be honest” and “watch that age gap” leaves room for debate. Have you ever had to admit a personal insecurity to a partner? What would you do in her shoes? Share your take and let’s keep the convo flowing.

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