[UPDATE!!] Me (28F) with my SO [30M] 1.5 yrs, I was helping him out financially, and I had a crisis that he doesn’t believe just because I don’t want to help him anymore.

In a quaint farmhouse, a 28-year-old woman unpacks groceries, hoping to mend a fractured bond. Weeks ago, her mother’s theft left her penniless, and her boyfriend’s disbelief—accusing her of shirking financial help—cut deep. Now, facing his coldness and a shiny new golf bag, her patience frays.

His harsh words, branding her a “financial disappointment,” ignite a spark of resolve. With courage, she walks away, groceries in hand, severing ties with a man who took her generosity for granted. Can she rebuild after such betrayal? Readers, dive into this gripping update of heartbreak and empowerment.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original Post

‘[UPDATE!!] Me (28F) with my SO [30M] 1.5 yrs, I was helping him out financially, and I had a crisis that he doesn’t believe just because I don’t want to help him anymore.’

tl;dr: Mom was piggy backed onto my bank account years ago, took all my money, boyfriend thinks I just don't want to help him out financially. So I had quite a few update requests and it has been about 2 weeks since I posted. The day of my post I went over to his house that evening. I had scrapped together some cash to get him so groceries and dinner from his favorite place to lighten the mood. Because hey, I'm a giver.

Anyways, I walked in as I usually do and he was on his couch and in front of him was a brand new golf bag. I just set the groceries in the fridge and told him what I got us for dinner. He said 'I don't want it. I'm fine.' I was just brushed that comment off since I really wasn't wanting to argue with him. I asked him about his new golf bag and he had bought it with his club credit which made me soften up a little bit.

So I sat down in the recliner across from him and started scribbling on my note pad a game plan for him/us with a budget for him and a way he can afford a car. I told him the game plan and he curtly said 'sounds good.' Then I went out into his backyard (he lives on BEAUTIFUL farm land with a nice deck outback) since I just didn't want to deal with him. And I just sat outside and cried.

He came outside and started fiddling with some stuff in his yard and didn't say a word to me. He said 'So should I just plan on you not talking tonight?' And then went on about how I have been such a source of disappointment for him financially. So I didn't say a word, took the groceries and dinner I bought and told him we are done. And left. I blocked his number and he is no longer a part of my life.. **tl;dr**: Walked out on his sorry ass. I dumped him.

Breaking free from a toxic relationship is like dodging a storm, but this woman’s escape is a triumph. Her boyfriend’s callous dismissal—labeling her a “financial disappointment” after she funded his debts—revealed his true colors. Her decision to leave, despite her giving nature, marks a bold step toward self-respect.

A 2023 study in Psychology of Women Quarterly (Source) highlights how women in financially imbalanced relationships often face manipulation, eroding self-esteem. Her boyfriend’s entitlement, prioritizing his needs over her crisis, mirrors this pattern, exploiting her generosity.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a clinical psychologist, states, “Healthy relationships require mutual respect, not one-sided giving” (Source). His lack of empathy, especially after her mother’s betrayal, failed this standard. Her exit was a reclaiming of agency, not defeat.

Moving forward, therapy could help her address patterns of over-giving, as suggested by Pia Mellody’s work on codependency. Setting firm boundaries—like securing solo bank accounts—will protect her future. She should focus generosity on herself now, rebuilding savings and confidence. This breakup, though painful, opens doors to healthier connections.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit lights up like a bonfire, cheering her bold exit with fierce support and sharp wit. From roasting her ex’s entitlement to urging her to guard her giving heart, users rally around her newfound strength. Here’s their unfiltered take:

GenericDreadHead − He was a POS and you deserve so much better.. Your life is only going to get much better from this point.. You've gotten rid of two horrible toxic people from your life.. Keep your head held high and know that the future is bright.. EDIT: Oh dear god, what have I started here.

[Reddit User] − I can't fathom a person reacting that way when you have gone out of your way to help so much. What an entitled a**hole.

phobos55 − I really wasn't expecting that last paragraph and I'm so happy for you. You're a giver. I understand that. He was unworthy of your generosity. Hopefully as you grow and form new relationships, you'll be able to see that in other people earlier on.. Good luck, and don't lose hope in everyone. Just be a little cautious before you be someone's meal ticket.

Tinycowz − 'And then went on about how I have been such a source of disappointment for him financially.' All aboard the NOPE train. What the heck? Does he want a sugar momma? He sounds like it. What a self entitled p**ck. Im glad you dumped him!

crystanow − Because hey, I'm a giver. Now work on this - when you give too much it makes you a target for bad people. You ex and your mother have already burned you. Why do you think you've acted this way? If it because you want to be liked? Is it because you fear confrontation? Is it because you want to smooth things over? Really do some thinking so you don't end up in this situation again.

puppiesandsunshine − '... I had been such a source of disappointment for him financially.' Can I just take a moment for a collective gawk on this. The guy needs help paying for a $1000 a month car lease *(what car is even that expensive?!)*, utilities, and groceries, while living on a giant picturesque farm lot. I think the last gift you should give him is An I**ot's Guide to Living Inside Your Own Damn Means. What a gross dude; you're so set for a better life now!

martindtoha − First, I'm sorry... especially with what your mother did and how your ex treated you. You sound awesome, and I'm glad you were able to see that you're awesome enough to not accept someone treating you so poorly.. Stand up tall and straight! You did the right thing.

BitterNutSquash − You are awesome! He is a selfish ass. I'm so happy for you that you have rid yourself of this unappreciative, jerktastic baggage.. (and A+ for taking the groceries when you left!). Breakups, even richly deserved ones, aren't always fun, so if you feel crappy or lonely in the near future, please hold onto the fact that you did the right thing.

Your life will get better from this point on as you have purged the toxic people who don't deserve your generosity or general fantasticness. Focus that generosity on yourself for a while because heaven knows, you deserve it. Down the road, I hope you can find someone who is as wonderful and giving as you are and the two of you can bask in being happy together.

eatgeeksleeprepeat − Good for you. I would honestly start thinking about this theme in your life. You are always willing to go above and beyond for people who take advantage and disrespect you. Counseling might help you really figure out why you do this and work on stopping. It's a great thing to be giving but eventually you will have nothing left to give yourself. Treat yourself right first, then others.

Inyoueye − such a source of disappointment for him financially. By bailing his worthless ass out time and again??!? Biting the hand that feeds - this guy is unbelievably stupid. Sorry OP

These Redditors dish out applause and tough love, hailing her breakup as a victory while warning against future leeches. It’s a lively clash—some push for self-focused healing, others marvel at her ex’s audacity. Are they right to celebrate, or is her journey just beginning?

This update sings of a woman shedding betrayal to embrace her worth. Her ex’s cruel words were the final straw, but her walkout was a masterstroke of self-love. Have you ever left a toxic relationship that drained you? How did you rebuild your strength? Share your stories and insights below—let’s celebrate her courage and unpack the road ahead.

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