How do I (F26) tell my partner (M28) to finally go to the dentist and remove his braces and get a clean?

Imagine locking lips with your partner, only to wince as metal grazes your skin—a reminder of braces left on far too long. For one woman, let’s call her Mia, this is her reality with her fiancé, whose neglected dental care is dimming her attraction. As they plan to tie the knot, Mia’s caught in a bind: his stained teeth and lingering braces clash with her hopes for a confident smile, especially before meeting her parents.

Mia’s heart twists with guilt—his hygiene is otherwise impeccable, but the braces and plaque scream neglect. She’s dropped hints, but he brushes them off, leaving her to wonder how to broach this without sounding shallow. Readers feel her cringe, drawn into the delicate dance of love and honesty. How does Mia nudge her partner toward the dentist without bruising his ego or their bond?

‘How do I (F26) tell my partner (M28) to finally go to the dentist and remove his braces and get a clean?’

I’ve been with my partner for a few years, he’s had braces since I met him. I assumed they would be due to remove at any moment now… only to find out he just simply stopped going to the dentist. He’s a grown adult male and it’s killing my attraction to him, sometimes it hurts when we kiss or it grazes on my lips.

I just want him to remove them, typically there’s nothing wrong with braces but it’s that he’s being lazy and neglectful. His teeth aren’t brilliant (staining and I think some plaque build up) but his hygiene is very good (he’s always clean, always good breath).

So I feel a bit like a superficial a**hole when I say I’d like my adult male partner to have his braces removed and teeth cleaned before he meets my parents as we intend to marry. How do I even breach this topic? I’ve briefly mentioned before, asking if he has long left, or that he should just remove them if he doesn’t need them anymore…

Mia’s dilemma underscores a truth about relationships: health habits shape intimacy. Dr. Mark Burhenne, a dental health expert, warns, “Neglecting dental care can lead to systemic health issues, like heart disease, due to oral bacteria” (Ask the Dentist). Mia’s partner’s abandoned braces and plaque buildup aren’t just cosmetic—they’re a health red flag, especially since 50% of adults have some periodontal disease (CDC).

Mia’s hesitation stems from fear of seeming superficial, but her concern is valid—braces left too long can damage teeth, and plaque risks cavities. Her partner’s avoidance suggests embarrassment or denial, clashing with Mia’s need for mutual care as they approach marriage. This reflects a broader issue: how couples navigate sensitive health discussions without judgment.

Dr. Burhenne advises framing dental care as a shared priority: “Express concern for their well-being, not just appearance.” Mia could say, “I love you and want us both healthy—let’s get your braces checked together.” This invites teamwork without blame. Offering to book the appointment or attend with him could ease his resistance. Readers, reflect on how you’d approach this—honesty with empathy can strengthen trust.

For Mia, emphasizing health over aesthetics aligns with Burhenne’s call for proactive care. She might suggest a joint dental visit to normalize the step. Her partner’s response will show his commitment to their future. Mia’s story reminds us that love means tackling tough topics with care. Communicate openly, and prioritize health as a couple’s goal.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit crew piled into Mia’s post like it’s a dental exam gone viral, tossing out shock, humor, and blunt advice. Here’s the straight-from-the-source buzz:

splubby_apricorn − What a weird moment to just give up on that.

[Reddit User] − Is his plan to just leave the braces forever???

Kaiisim − You just do it?. 'When are you getting your braces removed?' I dunno why you're even making it about attraction and not the fact its _insane_. He's just gonna have braces for life what?. It's gonna be how he deals with everything btw so

Snoo58071 − I hated every single day of braces. I HAD A COUNTDOWN!! . You are not being superficial. In my country at least it is more related to teens.

tunchywherms − Been together a few years and can't have a simple conversation.... we intend to marry. You are both far too immature to be in a relationship let alone married lol. 

CakeZealousideal1820 − His hygiene is not 'very good' if he hasn't been to a dentist and has plague build up. Teeth health is connected to your overall health. I cannot understand these relationships where yall are comfortable swapping bodily fluids but aren't comfortable saying hey that's n**ty and unhealthy and I won't tolerate it fix it or I'm out. Every day these at least 3 of these posts. I need yall to want better for yourself

SaneMirror − How do you broach the topic? Quite simply.. “Hey Hun. I think it’s time we get the braces looked and it hopefully even taken off! Can’t wait to kiss you without all the metal”

dragon12892 − His teeth/mouth hygiene can’t be that great if he hasn’t gotten atleast his teeth cleaned 1-2 times a year? Ortho docs and braces are expensive, does he have insurance/money for it? You’re just gonna have to rip the bandaid off and tell him. It’s not superficial to care about oral hygiene. If however you’re worried about braces in your wedding photos, that’s where you are being superficial. So just tell him you care about his health.

cinnayum − I am in my 30s currently have braces and getting them off next week. I had to start going to the dentist 3 times a year because of all the build up that happens due to having braces. It is extremely difficult to keep my teeth absolutely clean as some spots are difficult to reach.

I don’t want there to be any chance of cavity during my treatment. You might want to suggest for him to go see a dentist or orthodontist to check whether his treatment progress. The elastics that’s keeping the wire in deteriorates and can break while wire can warp.

Both of those happened to me during my treatment and likely slowed down progress. It seems like your bf hasn’t been to the dentist for a long time. Something to note, although I am not 100% sure, the bacteria in his mouth can be transmitted to yours while kissing.

If it does, it can ultimately also affect your oral and dental health. As others have suggested that you should approach this in a health perspective for the both of you since at this point it really seems that way.

kzapwn2 − What’s his plan

These Redditors didn’t mince words, from calling her partner’s neglect “insane” to urging Mia to speak up for health’s sake. Some saw her wedding photo worries as shallow, but most backed her hygiene concerns. Do these takes hit the mark, or just amplify the awkwardness? One thing’s clear: Mia’s braces saga has sparked a lively debate about love and dental duty.

Mia’s story lays bare the tricky balance of love, attraction, and honesty. Her partner’s neglected braces aren’t just a cosmetic snag—they’re a health concern that tests their communication as future spouses. A gentle, health-focused talk could pave the way to the dentist and rebuild her spark. But what if he digs in his heels? How would you nudge a partner toward a tough health choice without sparking a fight? Share your thoughts—have you faced a similar relationship hurdle?

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