Caught my girlfriend cheating and I CANNOT cope please help?

In a dimly lit dorm room, an 18-year-old freshman’s world crumbled as he scrolled through his girlfriend’s phone, uncovering texts that shattered his trust. The sting of betrayal hit hard, leaving him reeling in a sea of heartbreak and self-doubt, with no one to turn to but the vast expanse of Reddit.

This young man’s raw pain, poured out in a 4 a.m. plea, tugs at the heart. Caught between disgust and loneliness, he ended things but now faces the daunting task of piecing himself back together. Readers, prepare for a story of betrayal, resilience, and the unexpected kindness of strangers.

‘Caught my girlfriend cheating and I CANNOT cope please help?’

So long story short I found texts on my(18M) gf(19) phone tonight texting her friend things like “he pounded my s**t” “I got some of the best d**k last night” and “omg it was so good, I couldn’t walk last night” I’m disgusted. It was her ex, whom I’ve always felt inferior too like she just hadn’t gotten over him even after over a year.

I’m distraught. I don’t even have anyone else in my life rn. My two best friends cut me off over something stupid a few weeks ago, i just moved into Uni and i have only really “clicked” with one guy friend. My family and I don’t even get along nor communicate much. I lost my confidant, my support system, and my best friend all in one night.

She’s REALLY sorry. I saw her crying when she didn’t know I could see her and she was hitting the steering wheel over and over again. I feel bad but like the lying and deception isn’t new. I had to do it. I told her we’re over, but she’s welcome to try to win me back or whatever idc.

But F**K this sucks. I have mental health issues and so my coping skills are practically nil and I just don’t know how to cope with this. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep and I have class in the morning. I keep picturing the texts and visualizing him “pounding” her and I’m just disgusted.

I’m just obsessing over it and it’s 4 am in the f**king morning. Part of me just wants to let it slide if she does show effort at getting me back. I know in a while I’ll be ok but I just don’t know how to get from part a to part b.. Please help

Discovering a partner’s infidelity, especially through graphic texts, is a brutal blow, as this young man learned. Dr. Shirley Glass, a noted psychologist, wrote, “The betrayal of infidelity is not just in the act, but in the secrecy and deception” . His girlfriend’s boastful messages, devoid of remorse, amplify the wound, leaving him grappling with trust and self-worth.

The OP’s isolation—estranged from family and friends—compounds his pain. Young adults often face heightened emotional stakes in first loves, with studies showing breakups can trigger depression in 20-30% of teens. His mental health struggles make coping even tougher, pushing him to obsess over the betrayal.

Glass advises cutting contact to heal, as lingering ties prolong agony. The OP’s decision to end things is a strong first step. Engaging in campus counseling or group activities can rebuild his confidence and connections, turning this low point into a launchpad for growth.

For others facing similar betrayals, Glass suggests journaling to process emotions and seeking support networks. The OP’s Reddit lifeline shows how community can spark hope. He should stay firm, embrace new opportunities like his gym plan, and let time mend the cracks in his heart.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit swooped in like a digital hug, showering this heartbroken freshman with tough love and cheers. Here’s a taste of the community’s fiery wisdom—get ready for some real talk!

[Reddit User] − She‘s not sorry she cheated, she‘s sorry she got caught. If she were sorry she cheated the messages to her friend would be „I fucked up and don‘t know what to do. I am so so sorry. I don‘t know what happened“ and not „I got fucked by my ex and it was great“. She showed no remorse until she got caught.

Please don‘t let her walk all over you just because you are afraid of being alone! You are young you will find someone. Please use the mental health services available to you and I know it‘s old advice but go find some sort of group activity or sport you enjoy at your college. You will meet people with similar interests and new friendships will develop naturally.

YourMothaWasAHamster − but she’s welcome to try to win me back or whatever idc. Why would you let her win you back? She's fucked, she isn't sorry otherwise she wouldn't of said those things in the texts.

MichaelScottOfReddit − Dude, don't get back with her. The pain will be worse next time she cheats.

tossout7878 − See if your university has any mental health or even basic counselling services, use them

The-truth-hurts1 − She got her s**t pounded and you want to let it slide? F**k it off dude

[Reddit User] − Comepltely cut of contact with her. It’s difficult but it’s the only thing you can do that you will be glad you did later in life. It sucks and everything you feel will make you think to do the opposite. I did the same before and I regret every little of it.

Learn from the advice given to you here and don’t make the same mistakes. Ur 18, ur relationships with the other people in ur life aren’t ideal but ur super young and tbh most of the people you knew from HS would’ve not been in ur life the next few years regardless.

LyfeToLive − Damn nah u can’t take her back. She sent those texts like a day after. No remorse. She’s only crying cuz she didn’t get away with it. Would she have told you if you hadn’t found out? Nope

puntifex − She's REALLY sorry Weird. I could've sworn she was bragging about how good she got dicked down? Call me quaint, but 'OMG that s**t was the best d**k ever, I can barely walk!' doesn't scream 'contrition' to me. You're doing great, you're outperforming the average guy in this situation by telling her you're done. Now, you just have to MEAN IT.

F**k her. F**k that cheating piece of s**t. **You are too good for her**. She's the type to get fucked by her ex, but you're not the type to ACCEPT that nonsense. Don't fall for her b**lshit. Let her bang her head all she f**king wants. Not your problem. I promise you, the are awesome women a thousand times better than this worthless slag.

[Reddit User] − Today is going to suck man. Heartbreak sucks. There's going to be days where she's the first thing you think about when you wake up and when you cry yourself to sleep thinking about her at night. But then one day she won't be the first thing you think about in the morning - maybe she'll be the second.

Maybe you'll make it through breakfast before you think about her and feel the ache of heartbreak all over again. And as the days go on, you'll think about her less and less. Today is going to suck man, but tomorrow will be better. You're going to get through this. Ditch that b**ch and be strong. Message me if you need someone to chat with. I've been cheated on too.

Spddracer − This is going to hurt. As it should.. It is called life.  However you stand in a good position to understand how horriffic these actions can be to another. Not saying you are capable of such actions, rather you will be able to see said actions that lead to this a mile away..

Take a deep breath and soak in this experience. It will make you stronger. Yes for ahwile you will be distrusting of anyone that offers you that kind of affection. In time you will move on and reconcile the past you have had so you may have a better future. Be strong Bro, your life is still ahead of you. Nor do you know who will be in it. ;)

These Reddit takes are raw and bold, but do they hit the mark? Is the OP’s strength a game-changer, or is he still too close to the flames?

From a shattered heart to a spark of hope, this young man’s journey reminds us that even in our darkest moments, support can emerge from unexpected corners. His resolve to move forward, fueled by Reddit’s rallying cries, is a testament to resilience. But what’s your take? How would you navigate the wreckage of betrayal at such a young age? Share your stories or advice below—what’s the first step you’d take to heal?

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