I (F25) can’t afford my boyfriend (M30) This is taking a toll on my finances, how do I bring it up without seeming greedy?

In a quaint city apartment, a 25-year-old woman stirs a pot of homemade stew, her grocery bill creeping higher each week. She loves her boyfriend of a year, a 30-year-old with a fat bank account, but his wallet seems glued shut. While she scrimps, walking an hour to work to save gas, he munches her leftovers and tags along on trips she funds. What started as shared frugality has morphed into a one-sided financial burden.

The tension simmers like her overstretched budget. His wealth, well over a million, makes his refusal to chip in sting sharper. She’s not after a sugar daddy—just a partner who pays his share. As her savings dwindle, she’s grappling with how to confront him without sounding like a gold-digger. Readers, buckle up for a tale of love, money, and the cost of keeping quiet.

‘I (F25) can’t afford my boyfriend (M30) This is taking a toll on my finances, how do I bring it up without seeming greedy?’

Well, as I explained in the title, I'm (F25) having this issue with my boyfriend (M30), whom I've been dating for a year. Overall, we've had a pretty good relationship and I'm happy. When we started dating, I discovered he was very frugal, which was great because so am I!

However, as the year has gone by I've started noticing that his concept of frugal is very different to mine, and it's reached a point where it's putting a strain on my finances since I'm kind of 'supporting' both of us. Here are a few examples: >- Unless I suggest otherwise and plan dates, we never go out.

If we do go out, he'll only go if I pay for whatever activity I've planned. He's good with not going out on dates and just staying home, which I like but it gets boring after a while. He doesn't do grocery shopping and doesn't like cooking, he only gets take out or once in a while he gets a meal delivery service.

A lot of times, when I go over to his place and I get hungry I'm either stuck eating junk food snacks (I prefer to starve than eating processed trash) or I have to go grocery shopping and pay it out of my own pocket, and then cook for both of us. He eats a lot, and whenever he comes to my place he likes me to cook extra so he can have leftovers to take home.

I'm okay with this, however, my grocery bill is going up and I'm having to cut corners in other areas of my life, for example, I've stopped driving to work and now I walk 1hr both ways to save on gas to offset the extra grocery costs. I'm going on a trip next week, I asked him if he'd like to come too and he agreed after I sent him a spreadsheet with all the costs (flight, expenses, etc.) and he agreed to it.

I bought the plane tickets and booked the hotel a few weeks ago and he doesn't seem to have any intention to pay his share of the expenses. Like, it's okay - It's taking a dent on my savings but I can afford this without going into debt - I'd just appreciate a lot if he'd told me **beforehand** he was up for going to the trip only if I paid for it?

For reference, it's not like my boyfriend is a broke student or trying to save money because of debt, he makes more than twice as much money as I make, has no debt, no weird addictions and his net worth is well over a million*. I have no interest in him paying for things or treating me like a sugar baby,* I'd just like him to pay his share of joint expenses and dates but I don't want to start this conversation and have him believe I'm just with him for his money.

He's brought up his concerns about money, and how he never discloses how much he makes, etc. because he doesn't want women to be after his money, and he doesn't like to spend it because he has a weird OCD about seeing his bank account go up and only up, but this is coming at the expense of mine going down so...Yeah.. I don't know what to do.

**TL;DR:** My(F25) boyfriend (M30) never pays for *anything* - despite having plenty of money - so I have to which is starting to take a toll on my finances. I'm no longer sure if I can afford to have a boyfriend.

ADVERTISEMENT

Love shouldn’t come with a price tag, but this woman’s relationship is costing her dearly. Her boyfriend’s refusal to share expenses, despite his wealth, isn’t frugality—it’s exploitation. Her shrinking savings and hour-long walks to work scream imbalance, yet her fear of seeming greedy keeps her silent.

Financial therapist Megan McCoy explains, “Money dynamics in relationships reflect power and respect. When one partner consistently over-contributes, it breeds resentment” (American Psychological Association). Here, the boyfriend’s obsession with growing his bank account dismisses her financial strain, signaling a lack of partnership. His wealth amplifies the inequity—she’s not a gold-digger for wanting fairness.

A 2022 survey found 34% of couples argue over financial contributions (NerdWallet). Her situation reflects a broader issue: unspoken expectations around money can erode trust. McCoy advises open dialogue using “I” statements, like, “I feel stressed covering our costs alone.” She should demand he pays his trip share and split future expenses, or reconsider the relationship’s viability.

ADVERTISEMENT

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s diving into this financial fiasco with no holds barred, serving up blunt truths and a dash of humor. Here’s what the community had to say:

Westafricangrey − You are a literal meal ticket to him. It sounds like he doesn’t care about you at all & is only with you for financial gain.

RattusRattus − Why are worried about seeming greedy to a hobosexual? Dude literally makes extra food at your place to take home. He's not frugal; he's a leech.

ADVERTISEMENT

thatattyguy − 'Hey, I am starting to resent always being stuck with the bill anytime we do anything. I sent you the spreadsheet for costs for the upcoming trip, I fronted the costs, and I haven't seen a dime. Yiu like when I cook for you and you even take leftovers, and you never offer any to pick up groceries. If I want to leave the house and go on a date, I always am stuck paying.

I enjoy your company, but you are the cheapest guy I know, and don't give me some b**lshit about women wanting you for your money, bc I am certain that has never been an issue for you. If you cannot at least share in the costs of us doing things, and you just expect me to pay for everything all the time, that's a one-sided relationship I don't want to be in.'

hopskipandajump7 − This guy sucks. He's not frugal. He's an inconsiderate a**hole.

ADVERTISEMENT

McSuzy − Your boyfriend doesn't give a flying f**k about you.. If that is what you're looking for in a partner, keep seeing him.

Physical-Tank-1494 − You are walking to work because you are spending your money on a millionaire?! Girl...

theamazingdd − prostitutes get paid to f**k. you get fucked and actually lose money lol

ADVERTISEMENT

misswaggoner − Your boyfriend isn’t frugal, he is a leech.

Glinda-The-Witch − He’s using you and that’s why he has so much money in savings. His behavior regarding money will never change. If you marry or have children you will be the one footing the bill for everything. It’s ok to spend your money wisely but it’s not ok to take advantage of others. Time to rethink this relationship.

Patsy5bellies-1 − He’s using you. He’s not a sweet guy. Stop financing him. Ask for grocery money if he wants you to cook for him. Tell him to go halves on trips and dates. I don’t see him sticking around. I honestly think he sees you as a cash cow.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Redditors aren’t mincing words, but is “leech” too harsh, or spot-on? Can this couple balance their books, or is it time to close the account?

This woman’s story is a wake-up call: love shouldn’t bankrupt you. Her boyfriend’s million-dollar savings don’t justify draining hers. Whether she confronts him or cuts her losses, her journey underscores the power of financial boundaries. Have you ever faced a partner who wouldn’t pay their share? How did you handle it—diplomacy or a hard exit? Drop your stories below and let’s unpack the real cost of relationships!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *