My [29 F] best friend (now boyfriend) [29 M] chose me over his ex-girlfriend [30 F] and I can see that he regrets it?

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In a quiet jewelry store, amidst sparkling rings, a woman’s heart breaks as she helps her best friend plan his engagement. Her love for him, long hidden, spills out, changing everything.

Now, months into their new romance, she sees him unravel—his eyes glued to his ex’s social media, tears falling for her new life. This isn’t just about a confession; it’s about love’s consequences and the shadows of regret. Can their bond survive his lingering pain?

‘My [29 F] best friend (now boyfriend) [29 M] chose me over his ex-girlfriend [30 F] and I can see that he regrets it?’

My boyfriend was with his ex for about 4 years. They had a pretty nice and stable relationship. My boyfriend asked me for advice on choosing an engagement ring. I was always in love with him, but I never told him before. After accompanying him to see several rings, I broke down and told him that I love him and that it hurts me to have to do this type of thing, knowing that he was with his ex-girlfriend.

He started acting distant towards me and then I found out that he broke up with his ex-girlfriend. A few weeks later he started dating me. I was happy but after a few months he started to look quite unhappy and down. I've also seen that he checks his ex-girlfriend's social media frequently.

A few nights ago I found him crying in our room and found out it's because his ex-girlfriend is dating someone else. How do I fix this? It hurts me so much to see him like this. And I didn't understand that he chose me just because of our friendship but still I'm in love with him.

This love confession turned relationship is a heartbreak waiting to happen. Her bold move shifted his path, but his lingering attachment to his ex reveals unresolved grief. She’s caught between love and guilt, while he’s wrestling with a choice he may not fully own.

Her timing, though honest, disrupted his plans. “Sudden relationship shifts can leave emotional loose ends,” says Dr. Esther Perel, a psychotherapist specializing in relationships (source: Esther Perel). “Mourning a past love while in a new one is common but tricky.” His social media checks and tears suggest he’s not fully committed.

This taps into a larger issue: a 2023 study by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 30% of new relationships struggle when one partner hasn’t processed a prior breakup (source: JSPR). His quick pivot to her may reflect impulsivity, not clarity.

What’s next? Dr. Perel advises, “Honest dialogue about his feelings is essential.” She should ask directly about his regrets and their future. If he can’t engage, therapy or space may be needed. She must also weigh if she’s okay being a rebound.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s reactions hit like a plot twist in a rom-com—sharp, unfiltered, and ready to call it quits. Here’s what they tossed into the mix:

Fried_0nion_Rings − He thought the grass was greener and it wasn’t.

just4thename − Well if this isn't a psychological can of worms. I hate to be that reddit person that says move on but you're both broken from this experience and I don't see a good way to mend bridge. You'll always wonder if he's still in love with her/regretful

and that's a s**tty foundation for a relationship. And who knows, maybe he has another friend who is in love with him and he's just gonna pop on over if she confesses too. This man doesn't know what he wants or he's fishing for something better. Move on.

NarrowHamster7879 − I hope his ex and her new boyfriend are very happy together

LostNOTFound80 − You are the female best friend that girlfriends hate! You just couldn't let him be happy, with the woman he chose. You opened your mouth, and he's now made a huge mistake because of your friendship.. He's sad because he's realized he settled. You are selfish and he's an i**ot.

KaoticDreamers − If you was in love with him before, why wait until he was picking out engagement rings? Like before he got with his GF? You really are the 'just friends' that other females hate and it's not just your fault it's his for being so wishy washy.. Break up with him and move on. Find new friends.. Edit: correction grammar

Cat_Lady_1997 − how does it feel knowing you'll both feel like each others consolation prizes, forever? you got what you wanted.

Crazy_Atmosphere53 − He is dumb for breaking up with her so fast after 4 years. Who tf does that while looking for rings? He deserves to be unhappy.

DontWanaReadiT − Uhm.. this is actually worse than a home wrecking kind of situation you were supposed to be his friend and you betrayed your friendship over your feelings despite not knowing if he even felt the same way about you and you thought while he’s engaged it would be a great idea to voice your feelings? How s**tty a friend you were.. now you’re upset he realized he made a mistake?

Why would you even want to date someone who just got out of an engagement? Man, you got some therapy to attend and self reflections to make here that being said, I don’t think your relationship will last (or maybe rather it shouldn’t last) and you’re just lying to yourself if you think he’s somehow going to one day love you more than her now that he’s mourning a life he wished he had but never got to experience.

Asian_Blonde451 − I don’t think you “fix” anything. He’s finally mourning his old relationship. Remember he thought he was going to marry his ex. Now that dream/option is gone. She’s in another relationship and happy. Maybe he regrets leaving her for you. Maybe your relationship isn’t what he hoped it would be. Just give the guy space. But you need to ask yourself if you’re okay being with a man so easily swayed. Sometimes, how you get them is how you lose them.

[Reddit User] − How do you fix this? You’re almost 30. You have an adult conversation instead of running to the internet. Reddit isn’t going to solve your problems. Opening up your mouth and speaking to him will. You start by stating the facts: “I’ve been noticing lately that you’re become withdrawn and you’re checking ex’s social media frequently.

You also cried now that she’s dating someone else. I would like to discuss what this all means and better understand how you are feeling so we can figure out what this means for our own relationship.” You can’t be head over heels in love with someone and call them your best friend if you can’t respect and trust them enough to have the tough conversations. Avoiding the inevitable doesn’t change the outcome.. Edited to say dating not engaged.

These Redditors don’t sugarcoat it, but are they too harsh, or spot-on about this shaky love story? One thing’s clear: the internet’s got no patience for wishy-washy hearts.

This tale of a confessed love and a wavering heart shows how one moment can reshape lives. She bared her soul, winning his affection, but his grief for his ex casts a shadow. Their future hinges on tough talks and raw honesty. Is love enough when regret lingers? What do you think—would you fight for this relationship or let it go? Share your thoughts—how would you navigate this emotional maze?

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