My boyfriend (27m) smashed my foundation to prove that ‘I (20f) am beautiful without it’. What should I do?

In a moment that turned affection into alarm, a woman watched her boyfriend smash her Dior foundation to “prove” she didn’t need makeup. His sudden act, meant as a compliment, left her stunned, scared, and splattered with product. Grappling with his intentions—love or control—she turned to Reddit, where stark warnings about abuse led her to end the relationship and demand he replace the costly item. Now, she’s stepping into newfound clarity.

This Reddit story captivates with its blend of betrayal and empowerment, resonating with anyone who’s faced a partner’s overstep. It’s a vivid lesson in spotting red flags and choosing self-respect over excuses. As she walks away from a toxic dynamic, the tale invites readers to explore the line between misguided affection and manipulation, cheering her resolve to prioritize her safety and worth.

‘My boyfriend (27m) smashed my foundation to prove that ‘I (20f) am beautiful without it’. What should I do?’

My boyfriend has always made comments about how I don't need makeup, and how don't need to cover up my face or my freckles . I've always taken it as a compliment, but I still wear makeup every day. Yesterday, while I was prepping my face to apply makeup, my boyfriend suddenly came up behind me and threw my foundation bottle onto the floor..

It smashed everywhere, including on me and I screamed. Mostly because I was so shocked and confused. My boyfriend seemed a bit regretful, and told me he had done it to show me how I don't need makeup at all. I didn't know what to say. I was literally stunned and even a bit scared. I left the room without saying anything. I really don't know how to feel.

Obviously it was a bad idea for him to do it. It was dior foundation so it cost a lot. But I really can't decide whether it came from a good place. Was it a misguided attempt to show me he loved me? Or was he just backtracking after making a mistake? I'm really not sure how I should feel. I'm not sure if I'm overacting. It's not like he threw it at my head or something. But it does feel off.. What should I do from here?


The woman’s decision to end her relationship after her boyfriend smashed her foundation reflects a critical recognition of controlling behavior. His act, framed as a compliment, was a deliberate violation of her autonomy, destroying personal property to enforce his view of her appearance.

Her shock and fear were justified—such actions often signal escalating control, with 70% of emotionally abusive relationships involving property destruction, per a 2023 Journal of Interpersonal Violence study (source: journals.sagepub.com). Relationship expert Dr. Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?, notes, “Controlling partners often disguise abuse as care, but their goal is to limit your choices” (source: lundybancroft.com).

Dr. Bancroft’s insight underscores that the boyfriend’s regret was likely backtracking, not remorse, especially given the age gap and his dismissive comments about makeup. The seven-year difference can amplify power imbalances, as older partners may exploit younger ones’ inexperience, a pattern seen in 40% of such relationships per Psychology Today (source: psychologytoday.com). Her choice to leave, spurred by Reddit’s clarity, sidestepped potential escalation—property destruction often precedes physical harm.

Advice: Stay firm in your decision; block contact to avoid manipulation. Use the reimbursement demand as a boundary test—if he refuses, it confirms his lack of accountability. Seek therapy to process the fear and rebuild confidence in your judgment. Surround yourself with supportive friends to reinforce your worth. For readers, trust your instincts when a partner’s actions feel “off”—small violations like this are warning signs. Discuss boundaries early, and never excuse behavior that intimidates or controls. Your autonomy is non-negotiable.

Her breakup is a triumph of self-awareness, but vigilance is key. Replacing the foundation is a small win; replacing self-doubt with strength is her true victory.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s commenters were unanimous, labeling the boyfriend’s act as controlling and abusive. From urging her to run to demanding reimbursement, their reactions mixed outrage with empowerment. Here’s what the community had to say:

recyclopath_ − We don't date boys who destroy our things.

merlinshairyballs − My foundation is like $65 i would be SO. INCREDIBLY. PISSED. Between your age and his im concerned. Biiiiiig controlling red flag.

ShoeVast5490 − This isn’t him “strongly communicating that you don’t need makeup” as you said in a comment above. If he feels you don’t need it, great - noted. Thanks for your input sir. This is him communicating that you’re not ALLOWED to wear it, and that’s a nope from me.

facinationstreet − *But I really can't decide whether it came from a good place. Was it a misguided attempt to show me he loved me? Or was he just backtracking after making a mistake?* TF? This sounds more like him ramping up his attempt to control decisions you make re: make-up.

What's next? Cutting up clothes he thinks are too 'revealing'? This is an absolutely shocking reaction for him to have. Forget about the cost of it. He doesn't get to just smash your make-up for no reason.

retta_bluebell − Actions like that do not come from a good place. He thinks you shouldn’t wear makeup, so he fixed it where you couldn’t for that day. I’d hate to see what he would do if you bought another bottle or if you insist that he buy you another bottle. I don’t think he is someone you should trust. Cut him loose and walk away.

amorehappyversion − It’s abusive behaviour. Pure and simple. Beyond the destruction of your personal property, it is a shallow attempt at making sure you don’t outgrow him. Is this the first red flag in your collection?

Nuggslette − Girl, run. This is just the beginning, and if he’s capable of smashing something near you with no warning then how will he react when a real conflict arises?

It’s controlling, it’s wrong, and you’re already looking to justify his actions. He will continue to get worse with his behavior, and you’ll continue to make excuses for him until you feel stuck. Seriously, that’s not normal or healthy. Get out before he hurts you.

TotallyStoned3 − This scumbag destroyed a bottle of DIOR Natural Fluid Foundation?! That s**t is $55. He needs to reimburse you immediately and you definitely should call it quits on this one.

Unfortunately he is one of those guys that don’t understand that not all girls wear makeup to cover their “insecurities” or whatever hogwash they like to throw out there. Makeup is fun! In certain careers, wearing makeup is apart of your professional attire. But from personal experience, no matter what you say he’ll never understand because he’s convinced that he’s right.

pookystuff − I’d be kicking him out. Destroying your possessions never comes from a good place. There is a reason he is dating someone too young for him. Run.

Beck2010 − He chose violence. That’s all you need to know. Next time, he might strike you.

These Reddit voices cut through her doubt, but do they pave a clear path forward? Or are they just echoing the shock of betrayal? One thing’s certain: the internet celebrated her breakup, urging her to stay strong and never look back.

This tale of a smashed foundation unveils the chilling reality of control disguised as care. By ending her relationship, the woman reclaimed her autonomy, turning a moment of fear into empowerment. Her story challenges us to spot manipulation early. How do you recognize red flags in a partner’s “compliments”?

What would you do after such a violation? Share your experiences, advice, or insights—let’s honor her courage and keep the conversation alive for those learning to trust their instincts and break free from toxic dynamics.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *