My(18M) GF(18F) told me no when I asked her if she wants me to be her partner for prom, what am I supposed to do in this situation?

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The air buzzed with excitement as high school seniors prepped for the ultimate rite of passage: prom night. For one 18-year-old, the dream of twirling his girlfriend under glittering lights hit a sour note when she flat-out rejected his prom date request. Picture the scene: a nervous teen, heart on his sleeve, met with a shrug and a suggestion to “find someone else.” The sting of rejection morphed into confusion as mixed signals piled up, painting a vivid portrait of young love’s chaos.

This Reddit tale dives into the messy world of teenage romance, where prom isn’t just a dance but a battlefield of expectations and egos. Our protagonist’s rollercoaster of emotions, from hurt to defiance to reconciliation, hooks us with its raw honesty. Let’s unpack this drama, explore what the experts say, and see how the Reddit crew weighs in.

‘My(18M) GF(18F) told me no when I asked her if she wants me to be her partner for prom, what am I supposed to do in this situation?’

Last March 6, I asked my girlfriend if she want to be my prom date, but she told me no and said that I should just find someone else. She told me that I had no initiative because I only asked her after she sent a link which has a photo attached that said 'Will you be my prom date?'

Fast forward to today, I asked her if she had any partner for the prom, and she said no because no one asked her. So I asked her again, but she asked me 'did you just invite me because no one did?' And I told her 'So you forgot that you rejected me?'.

I then reminded her that I asked her on March 6 but she rejected me.  And here is how the rest of our conversation went:. Her: Ohh yeahh. Me: I hope you and the one you'll accept as a partner have fun in the prom babee.

Her: So you won't go near me during prom? Me: You and your partner should be near together, and since I am not your partner, I should respect you both and leave you two be. Now she is blaming me that I am giving her away to other man.

She then told me 'You don't wanna fight for me and try your luck again and again and again?' then said 'You're fast at giving up' then she told me that we're ending the conversation.

I then told her that it's like spinning for the wheel with 0% chance of winning and that I won't fight for someone who doesn't want me or want to be fought for.. And now she's silent, what am I supposed to do?

Update: She said yes last night after being silent, told me that she was just trying to be hard to get. Then told me that I was like giving her away to other men which is why she said yes(she's probably just saying this sarcastically and is trying to get my attention).

I understand that I wasn't putting enough effort into asking her out so I decided that I would get her chocolates which are her favorite and ask her out in person properly, for the third and last time (I understand I'm young and stupid). So this is how the morning went.

I went to the nearest store a bought some chocolates, then I went to school. I found the right time to ask her out in person. I apologized for how I immaturely handled last night. I told her how I'd love to go to the prom with her. She said yes

And no I did not d**p her, I want to understand why she did what she did. And I also understand how I also had a big part as to why she reacted that way, albeit immaturely. Thank you to all the people who gave me their precious time to give their helpful advice, I will take it all to heart.

I understand that I am too young and immature to be in a relationship, I am also trying my best to become a better partner and person. When the time comes where I think that it's too unbearable (for now it's alright, I can still bear with it), I will then make my decision, and move on, thank you all!

Prom season can turn even the sweetest romance into a pressure cooker of expectations. For this young couple, a simple prom invite spiraled into a clash of communication styles and unspoken tests. The girlfriend’s initial rejection, followed by her “hard to get” tactic, points to a deeper issue: mismatched expectations in young relationships.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, known for his work on couple dynamics, notes, “Bids for connection, like asking someone to prom, are critical moments. How partners respond—whether with acceptance or dismissal—shapes trust”. The girlfriend’s dismissal of her boyfriend’s bid, followed by blaming him for not “fighting” harder, risks eroding trust. Her behavior suggests a desire for control, while his frustration reflects a need for clarity.

Zooming out, this story mirrors a broader issue: young adults navigating romantic boundaries. A 2021 study by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 60% of teens report experiencing “game-playing” in relationships, often tied to insecurity or learned behaviors. The girlfriend’s tactics may stem from cultural tropes glorifying the “chase,” but they left her boyfriend feeling dismissed.

For our hero, Dr. Gottman’s advice to “turn toward” bids constructively offers a path forward. He showed maturity by apologizing and trying again with chocolates, but the couple needs open dialogue to avoid future games. Setting clear expectations with partners fosters trust, keeping the dance floor spinning smoothly.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit community chimed in with a mix of sass and wisdom. Many labeled the girlfriend’s behavior as immature, accusing her of playing toxic games by rejecting her boyfriend only to later blame him for not chasing harder.

Others saw her actions as a sign of insecurity, typical of young relationships, but urged the boyfriend to seek a partner who values him without tests. Some suggested moving on, noting that high school romances often fade as life paths diverge. These candid takes highlight the divide between seeing this as a youthful misstep or a red flag.

Murky_Anxiety4884 − Get a different girlfriend. She expects you to fight *her* over who gets to take her to prom? That's ridiculous. No means no.

Independent-Size7972 − 'This is immature and when you look back on this 10 years from now you're going to cringe about all this.'

Trekkie63 − You deserve a better girl friend. She’s playing head games.

EmpireofAzad − Fighting for your SO happens before a relationship or if your relationship is threatened. You’re not supposed to constantly fight for it, you’re supposed to have each others backs against everything else. She is not fighting for your relationship at all, she’s putting obstacles up. Let her play games with someone else.

Rude_Entrance_3039 − Bro, find someone else to go with and have a good time. Let this girl play these childish games with someone else. You're about to graduate and move onto the real world where people are, presumably, adults. She's got a lot of growing up to do, let her go do it.

Living_Cash1037 − Why tf are you still dating her if she wont go with the prom with you? That sounds like a lopsided thing here.

DammitMaxwell − This is toxic as s**t.  Move on.. You’ll both learn from this.

ANBU_Black_0ps − You are 18 about to graduate and then either go to a different college from her or start your life probably doing different things or going in different directions, so what do you think you should do?

[Reddit User] − So she said 'no' as she thinks you only asked her because she reminded you about prom? A bit petty. Christ, I would be grateful if ANYONE had asked me in any way shape or form! Why wouldn't a boyfriend and girlfriend go to prom anyway?

It seems very weird for her to just say no because you apparently didn't think to ask her without her hint! Loool 'you don't wanaa fight for me?' makes it sound like she wants YOU to chase after her and be there even when she's acting like a b\*tch. Leave this girl.

You're only 18 so you will get other chances with relationships in the future hopefully and actually may even end up meeting the right girl who you can be in a long term thing with! BREAK UP WITH HER!

djinn_tai − Nah she's playing stupid games, here's a little advice about those games. They don't end, they only escalate.

This prom saga reminds us that young love is a wild ride, full of missteps and makeup moments. Our hero’s persistence paid off, but the girlfriend’s games left a lingering question: is this a quirky bump or a sign of deeper disconnect?

For now, they’re prom-bound, chocolates in hand, but the real dance is learning to communicate. Share your stories of navigating young love’s twists—let’s keep the conversation rolling!

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