My (24f) boyfriend (26m) of 7 years completely ghosted me out of the blue!

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The couch still holds the warmth of their last cuddle, but for a 24-year-old woman, that cozy memory now stings like a fresh wound. One day, her boyfriend of seven years—her first love, her entire adult world—vanished without a whisper. No fight, no warning, just a chilling void where his presence used to be.

Her heart races with questions, each unanswered call twisting the knife deeper. From worry to heartbreak, she’s left sifting through seven years of love for clues, haunted by her past scars and a desperate need for closure. This tale pulls readers into a whirlwind of betrayal and resilience, where love’s sudden end sparks a raw, human struggle to rebuild.

‘My (24f) boyfriend (26m) of 7 years completely ghosted me out of the blue!’

It feels completely unreal. I'm 24, I have been with this guy since I was 17. A quarter of my life and basically my whole adult life! He is the first and only person I slept with. Nothing happened! We didn't have an argument, we had a great relationship. (at least in my opinion) One day we were cuddling on the couch and the next I can't get a hold of him.

He blocked me on everything. I was so worried at first! My first thoughts were that he was hurt or dead or in a terrible accident. I only learned from a mutual friend that he basically moved halfway across the country, he is still alive at least. He just doesn't want to talk to me.

It's been 3 weeks now! What do I even do? Do I travel after him? I don't even know where to. Do I give him time?. I hope I'm not appearing like an overly obsessive girlfriend but what the heck? :(. 7 years!. I need closure, even if it would be:. 'You are ugly, I never loved you.'. 'I have found somebody else.'. Anything.

Am I expecting too much? I can't just discard 7 years like a used yogurt cup. Maybe I did something wrong but I don't know what it could be without him telling me. I didn't cheat on him. I have always tried to be kind and caring. :(. I wasn't a financial burden either, I paid for my own things and paid half of everything.

I'm trying to think of all the things I could have done wrong. I had a terrible childhood. I was abused and still have some scars from cutting myself. Maybe he thought I was ugly from the scars or too depressed and sad at times but he still could have told me. I would have understood..

He and our mutual friend both blocked me now and I'm not getting any answers.. I'm just sad and confused and don't know what to do. :(. 3 weeks might not seem that long, maybe he'll change his mind.. I just don't know what to do or how to handle this. :(

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

This sudden ghosting is a gut-punch, revealing how fragile even long-term relationships can be. Her shock and self-doubt, rooted in childhood trauma, make this betrayal cut deeper. The boyfriend’s silence speaks volumes, but it’s her path forward that matters now.

Psychologist Dr. Guy Winch, an expert on emotional health, says, “Heartbreak is a form of grief that requires active healing”. Her urge to chase answers is natural, but his refusal to offer closure shows a lack of respect. Her past abuse and scars may amplify her self-blame, yet they don’t define her worth.

Ghosting is increasingly common— a 2019 YouGov poll found 25% of adults have been ghosted in romantic relationships. It’s a selfish act, reflecting his issues, not hers. Therapy, like EMDR for trauma, could help her process this loss. She should lean on hobbies, friends, and self-care to rediscover her strength. Healing comes from within, not from his answers.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s reactions are a fiery mix of empathy and outrage. Many users call the boyfriend’s actions cruel, urging her to seek therapy to heal from the trauma and rebuild her confidence. Others suggest his ghosting reflects his own flaws, not hers, and advise against chasing him.

Some emphasize creating her own closure through self-love and new experiences, while a few suspect hidden motives but warn against digging for answers that may never come. These bold takes highlight the pain of ghosting and the power of moving forward, even when answers are out of reach.

_WitchoftheWaste − Honestly all I can say is 'what the f**k?!'. My heart hurts for you, but the mutual friend blocking you as well has thrown up some 'something had to have happened, or thats what hes saying to people' vibes. But really, no amount of cyber stalking him or friends is going to fix this.

No amount of begging or all of the things you want to do. If he wanted to give you closure he would have. And he sucks beyond words for not giving you that if all was well The more you chase answers the crazier you will feel and look- even though you absolutely f**king deserve those answers.

Id get a therapist *immediately* and work on rebuilding your life without him. This will do some damage for sure, so im serious about therapy. Im sorry OP. I wish i could answer what happened for you.

JJ25420 − My ex husband of 7 years left me out of the blue two days after my bday with no arguments / no fights - we had a great relationship. It made NO sense. I was honestly lost for like 3 weeks and then put myself in EMDR therapy (I have been in EMDR for 10 years but as time goes on you don’t need it) but for a traumatic event it’s an amazing tool.

A LOT of healing and being with friends helped a ton. Doing my hobbies and realizing it wasn’t me was the biggest thing. I did nothing wrong, it was his decision to leave and even though it’s been 4 years and I’ve had no closure I honestly do not care. If someone just leaves like that to me he clearly had something going on with HIM.

Menestee1 − I hope you dont take this the wrong way but you may never get closure from him, but perhaps you can create it. By reminding yourself that he is an ass for doing this to you and clearly he isnt who you thought he was if he is willing to leave you in such pain with zero answers.

Maybe it isnt a you thing. He doesnt need to move anywhere to break up with you. Maybe he was just bored with his life and decided to pick up his roots. That says more about him than it does you. Hes an ass, and a cold one at that.. Hope your cat gives you plenty of love!

blackcatsneakattack − Even if he does change his mind, do you really want to be with someone who would put you through this?

sirenharpymermaid − I've had this happen twice, not as long term as yours but it still f**king sucks. There really ain't s**t you can do to get closure from them. Best you can do is just let it be their loss and know that you cannot control what a person is going to do just by acting 'right' or 'being a good girlfriend' what they did reflects on their personality, not yours.

Also advice I wish I would have heard afterwards, don't go looking for validation that you're worthy of respect from another relationship. Wait until you've created that closure for yourself and you've accepted that sometimes people just do s**tty things and it's not your fault.

I went and got into the most mentally and physically abusive relationship after getting ghosted by a guy I really really liked, and all because I was like oh! Attention! That makes me feel special!!

PunkHalo − I’m sorry this happened. But let him go. Go to therapy and work on your personal issues (abuse etc). You have every right to be upset at him. But after you go through the stages of grief you’ll hopefully realize that he deserves the same consideration he gave you, which was none.

Special-Hyena1132 − I'm struggling with this. You dated for 7 years and you don't know where he lives? No phone number of a relative? And you had no conflict? No warning of any kind?

rimdaddy − You must know his parents right? Have you tried to talk to them?

[Reddit User] − The best thing you can do is count yourself lucky you weren’t living together or had a kid together. He showed his true colors by just vanishing like that. I am truly sorry, but the best and only thing you can do is move on. He’s a scumbag.

You deserve better. No one deserves to have someone do that. There is no excuse. You didn’t do anything wrong. He is probably just a broken individual for doing that. Do your best to forget him.

Sheila_Monarch − You may eventually learn what happened. But please know…it absolutely WILL NOT happen before you need to move on. So move on now. It won’t happen until after the moment you really, truly, don’t need it anymore.

When you don’t give a single f**k and learning the truth elicits no more than a shrug from you and not even a single uptick in your pulse. When it means literally nothing to you. Right now, those that do know are committed to making sure you don’t.

And if you could get any of them to talk to you, including him, they won’t tell you the truth, and you can’t make therm. So don’t bother. The path between where you are right now and that point where it doesn’t matter to you…THAT is what closure really is. It comes from within.

It never, ever comes from the person or conversation you desperately feel right now can give it to you. It just doesn’t. So accept this: it’s over. Say it out loud. Write it in big letters and tape it to your bathroom mirror if you need to. Even if he calls you tomorrow and wants to go back to the way things were, you absolutely cannot allow that.

He closed that door behind him when he left, by the way, he did it. No matter what the hell is going on. It literally doesn’t matter. It’s over. He cannot be allowed back in your life because this was such a grotesquely cruel thing to do to you. You can never allow him back in. Don’t try to understand him, or be understanding.

He’s forfeited all kindness from you. So move on. Right now, you do that by just putting one foot in front of the other to get through your days, and then weeks, and then months, and then one day you’ll wake up and realize you’re not thinking about him anymore when you wake up. And then soon, not at all.

Because you’ve filled the space he occupied with other things that are uniquely you. Other friends, activities, interests, and plans for your future. That have nothing to do with him. The magical turning point, and it will happen sooner than you think, is when you realize you can think about him and it *doesn’t even sting anymore*.

Not even a little bit. This is the time in your life where you learn who YOU really are. And it’s priceless. Think about it, given how long you were together, in spite of you being 24, you have literally never walked this earth as an adult without him being an influence in some way on every thought, action, and decision…large and small.

NOW you get to figure out who you really are, without his influence. It’s a level of freedom you’ve never known. So get started. You’ll be so much happier in the long run, even though it’s not the way anyone would choose for the journey to begin. But…it never is.

This story is a raw reminder of love’s fragility and the strength it takes to rise from its ashes. Her seven-year bond ended in silence, but her journey to self-discovery is just beginning.

Therapy and self-care could light the way, helping her reclaim her worth. Have you ever faced a sudden betrayal like this? Share your stories and advice below—how did you find your footing again?

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