[UPDATE] 2: AITA for demanding to go through my BIL and his GF’s bags if they are staying with us?

In a home where dairy is a sworn foe, a family saga has reached its dramatic finale, leaving hearts lighter and boundaries stronger.  A Redditor with a severe dairy allergy faced betrayal when their brother-in-law’s girlfriend repeatedly smuggled allergens into their safe space, sparking an ER visit and a bag-checking standoff. The last update revealed her lies about apologizing, but now, the curtain falls with a breakup and startling truths.For those who want to read the previous part: [UPDATE] AITA for demanding to go through my BIL and his GF’s bags if they are staying with us?

The brother-in-law, once deceived, has cut ties with his manipulative ex, unveiling her schemes to isolate him and dodge accountability. It’s a tale of hard conversations, shattered illusions, and a family rallying to protect one another. As the Redditor looks toward their wedding, the Reddit community cheers this triumph over toxicity, proving that sometimes, the best closure is a clean break.

‘[UPDATE] 2: AITA for demanding to go through my BIL and his GF’s bags if they are staying with us?’

So I have talked to my BIL. We had a long and emotional conversation. I won't post it all here, since some of the stuff we discussed is personal, but I still wanted to update you guys. To start BIL kept apologizing and saying he should have checked with us, not just believed his GF, or now ex GF.

He went on to explain how the reason he wanted to talk with me today instead of yesterday after the call with my fiancé, was because he felt like he had already failed us for believing his GF. (We do not agree with this at all, and do not blame him.) So he wanted to show he truly is remorseful of everything that has happened, not just say the words, but show it through actions.

After the call with my fiancé, he confronted his ex. Ex first tried to convince him that I was lying and trying to ruin their relationship. That didn't work, so she tried to manipulate him with tears. BIL explained it as now that he has fully seen all of her crazy behavior, he immediately saw how manipulative she is.

A lot more happened, but I won't go into detail, since it isn't my story but my BIL's. The end result is that he broke up with her. He also told us more that we didn't know, including how they actually broke up after the second time they visited us.

He didn't want to be with someone who clearly didn't care about the people in his life by putting someone in danger. He explained they were broken up for about two months, and only got back together after she sent him a message saying she had reached out to me and we had worked things out because she felt awful, but didn't expect anything from him.

Now it is clear that it was just manipulation to get back together with him. More we didn't know is also that BIL hasn't been happy where he currently lives for the last year or so, and one of the reasons he often comes to visit us is because he has been considering moving to our area.

So I have a feeling she has been doing all of the crazy stuff in hopes we would blame BIL, and if we were mad or low contact with him, he wouldn't move. More manipulation, I won't put it past her. BIL also sent out a message to their extended family explaining the whole situation, in case she reaches out to the family,

and this way, I won't have to relive the trauma surrounding an allergic reaction to explain what's been going on. I also told BIL and my fiancé about what it is like for me to have a serious allergic reaction for the first time. What it feels like and the absolute horror I go through.

That was definitely the hardest part of the conversation for me. Neither my fiancé or I blame BIL. The way I see it, he is a good guy who sees the best in people and who has been manipulated by his ex. He is still more than welcome to stay with us, and with everything he told us about how he has been feeling lately, we are excited to have him stay with us, and hopefully be able to help him out with everything going on.

A lot more was said and talked about, but I think these are the important parts for the update. If I have forgotten anything, I will add an edit here. Also, thank you to everyone who commented and helped me with the situation. Hopefully, this is the last part, and we can go back to focusing on our wedding.

This saga’s conclusion is a masterclass in unmasking manipulation and reclaiming safety. The ex-girlfriend’s web of lies—faking an apology, gaslighting, and scheming to keep the brother-in-law from moving—paints a chilling portrait of control. The Redditor’s courage to confront their trauma and the brother-in-law’s decisive breakup mark a turning point, prioritizing health and trust over toxic ties.

Food allergies are a serious matter. The Food Allergy Research & Education network states that 33 million Americans face food allergies, with cross-contamination posing real risks. Dr. Susan Waserman, cited in a Healthline article, notes, “Respecting allergy boundaries is non-negotiable. Violations erode trust and safety.” The ex’s actions, from smuggling dairy to manipulating relationships, show a profound lack of empathy.

This drama reflects broader issues of manipulative behavior in relationships. “Manipulation thrives on deception and guilt,” says therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner in a Psychology Today piece. The brother-in-law’s exit and the Redditor’s firm stance model healthy boundaries. Moving forward, they could support his relocation with open communication, ensuring their home remains a sanctuary.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crowd roared in like a victory parade, tossing confetti for the breakup and shade at the ex. It’s like a digital block party where everyone’s got a cheer or a quip. Here’s the unfiltered vibe from the community:

Soul-Arts − Yikes. Ex is a awful human being.. I am happy that BIL was able to see beyond her act and move on.

MaggieManush1 − This sounds like it turned out great for everyone except for the ex which is fine. I'm really happy for all you that you're safe and that he isn't with someone who is so manipulative and toxic.

kicker203 − Awesome (soon to be) in laws are awesome.

Sebscreen − now ex GF. Good! I'm glad she got dumped and was powerless to stop it. Be very on guard for the next couple of weeks btw. This awful woman is absolutely capable of attempting to poison you again because she blames you.

Lirialea − Glad everything ended well. Let's hope BIL's ex-girlfriend isn't crazy enough to try something else.

Bubbles110 − BIL sounds like a wonderful person. His ex on the other hand sounds like a absolute See You Next Tuesday. Glad to hear the poison has been removed from the equation in totality. BIL will be ok and will find someone who will respect boundaries and not do all sorts of crazy manipulative things.. Stay healthy and safe, OP. ❣️

Beneficial_Noise_691 − I'm sorry you had to go through this OP, but I f**king love an update where everyone acted like actual adults, had hard conversations and resolved s**t with communication.. Well done OP, may you never be cursed with dairy again.

GeorgiaLavendula − Ex-GF is INSANE. My husband and I bought peanut based snacks for a flight recently. They were fully unopened and in a grocery bag. Before we had a chance to open them, the flight attendants announced there was a severe peanut allergy on the plane and asked that no one eat them during the flight. We immediately asked for a second bag to seal them in just to be safe. For a STRANGER! Some people have no empathy.

IsoldeFawn − NTA. You protected yourself and still showed compassion. BIL realized the truth and did the right thing — now you can all move forward. Best wishes for the wedding!

Pampered-Pangolin − Sorry for what you've been through! It must be incredibly traumatic having your safe space contaminated.. It's great that BIL has moved on. I hope he can find some happiness going forward.. Best of luck with the wedding planning!

These Redditors celebrated the ex’s exit, praising the brother-in-law’s clarity and the Redditor’s resilience. Some warned of her lingering spite, while others toasted the family’s unity. But do these jubilant takes capture the full story, or are they just reveling in the drama’s end? One thing’s certain: this saga’s resolution has Reddit buzzing with relief.

This dairy-driven drama closes with a powerful lesson: trust is fragile, but boundaries can rebuild it. The Redditor’s journey—from anaphylactic fear to family solidarity—shows the strength it takes to confront betrayal. The brother-in-law’s breakup and the ex’s unmasking free them all to focus on healing and new chapters, like a wedding on the horizon. How do you rebuild trust after someone’s actions threaten your safety? Share your stories or advice in the comments—let’s keep this conversation alive.

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