My sister named her baby after my husband. I don’t know how I feel about it?

In a cozy family gathering, a new baby’s name drops like a pebble in a pond, rippling unease. A 25-year-old man, blissfully married to his charismatic husband, learns his sister named her newborn after his spouse—a choice that feels less like homage and more like an extension of her unsettling fixation.

Her gushing praise and odd jokes about his husband have long raised eyebrows, but this crosses a line. Is it just a quirky tribute, or a red flag waving in their fragile sibling bond? This Reddit saga, laced with love and discomfort, dives into the murky waters of family, boundaries, and unspoken motives. Let’s unpack this peculiar drama.

‘My sister named her baby after my husband. I don’t know how I feel about it?’

Possibly important context before we get into it: I'm 25M, my husband is 24M, sister is 27F. Sister and I were close as children but had a huge fight over our parent's divorce as teenagers, didn't speak for a couple of years and then have had a fairly wobbly but mostly okay relationship since I was 16 and she was 18.

So yeah. The husband and I met at university when we were 18 and had a very sappy 'love at first sight, immediately knew he was the one' kind of romance. We've been married for nine months now and he really is my soulmate and best friend. Now, husband is one of those people who everybody just loves.

Like he's super kind and funny and friendly and outgoing, people just like being around him and I'm used to being told how awesome he is. I also semi frequently get comments about how good looking he is. I know I'm biased, but he really is supermodel gorgeous, so those aren't surprising either. The fixation my sister has with him, however, goes a little beyond what I'm used to.

Ever since the first time she met him she's had this schoolgirl like crush on him which borders on creepy. She talks about how hot he is but not in a normal, passing comment kind of way. She regularly *gushes* about him, especially in cases like when he gets a haircut or buys a new shirt or gets a new piercing or something.

She's also made several jokes over the years about stealing him from me and how they were probably meant to be in a different life and how he mostly likes me because I'm 'basically the boy version of her'. To top it all off, she has explicitly mentioned while drunk that the only reason she fancied *her* husband in the first place is because he looks a little bit like mine (honestly the resemblence isn't really there they're both just tall and lanky and blond).

I've largely brushed it off as joking but it does make me and my husband both quite uncomfortable. So the current problem. Two weeks ago, my sister gave birth to her first child, my nephew. And she named him after my husband. It can't even be passed off as a case of her just liking a common boy's name that just happened to be my husband's name; we live in England, but my husband is Ukranian and has a pretty distinctive name.

Like, I'm sure there are other guys with his name over here and it's quite a common name in Ukraine, but I've personally never met anybody else with his name and I'm certain my sister hasn't either. I asked her why she chose that name and she said she just thinks it's pretty, though she couldn't tell me what it means and actually technically misspelled it on the birth certificate so there's that.

Husband and Sister aren't really close at all so it's not like she chose his name to honour their bond and it's not like he's ever done anything extraordinary for her to warrant that kind of honour. Idk... under any other circumstances I'd probably buy the 'I just think it's a pretty name' bit, but her weird fixation with him in mind it feels a bit...odd, you know? I really don't know how to feel or what to do or how to approach this. Any advice on any of it is helpful.

This baby-naming bombshell exposes a thorny sibling dynamic, where admiration veers into obsession. The sister’s decision to name her son after her brother’s husband, paired with her history of gushing and inappropriate jokes, suggests an unhealthy fixation, possibly fueled by envy or unresolved feelings. The couple’s discomfort is valid—her actions blur lines of respect, especially given their rocky past.

Psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman, an expert on family estrangement, notes, “Overstepping boundaries in family relationships often stems from unaddressed emotional needs, like seeking validation through others’ relationships” (source: Reconciling with Family). The sister’s behavior—fixating on her brother’s husband and mirroring him in her own partner choice—hints at an attempt to insert herself into their bond, perhaps unconsciously. Naming her child after him escalates this, turning a personal admiration into a public statement.

This scenario reflects broader issues in sibling relationships. A 2022 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that 45% of siblings experience boundary conflicts when one fixates on another’s partner, often tied to jealousy or identity struggles (source: Journal of Family Psychology). The sister’s claim that the name is “pretty” feels flimsy against her pattern of behavior, as Redditors noted, raising concerns about deeper motives or even homophobic dismissal of the marriage’s legitimacy.

Dr. Coleman advises addressing such issues with clear boundaries and direct communication. The man could calmly express discomfort, saying, “Naming your son after my husband feels tied to your comments about him, which make us uneasy. Can we talk about what’s going on?” This invites clarity without accusation. Low contact, as some Redditors suggested, may be wise if she deflects. Long-term, the couple should reinforce boundaries, like limiting her access to personal moments.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users didn’t hold back, dishing out shock, advice, and a few gasps at this sister’s audacity. Here’s the top 10 comments, brimming with wit and worry:

[Reddit User] − Wow. So, since she can't have him, she's made a mini version? Jesus this is a whole new level of coo-coo.

dovahgriin − my gut reaction to reading this was a big ol YIKES. have you considered going low/no-contact with your sister? if not, i can understand that, but it might be time to start stepping away if her obvious obsession with your husband is making the both of you uncomfortable.

Veridical_Perception − I'm assuming you've considered the HUGE white elephant in the room... Assuming that that is not the case, you may want to consider that her behaviors sound similar to a stalker. Stalkers are not a monolithic group. A common taxonomy for stalkers divides them into 5 types (of course there are other ways to group them, but the key point is that they are not all necessarily boiling bunnies on the kitchen stove):

1) Rejected stalkers like former partners; 2) Intimacy-seekers who want an intimate relationship with the person; 3) Incompetent stalkers who think if they try hard enough, it'll eventually lead to a relationship; 4) Resentful stalkers who are trying to frighten or have some sort of real or imagined vendetta; 5) Predatory stalkers who are preparing for an a**ault..

Your sister seems to be demonstrating a few behaviors in common with a few of those categories.. ​. it's not like he's ever done anything extraordinary for her to warrant that kind of honour. Victims of stalkers seldom do anything to warrant the attention.

Is her behavior escalating and becoming more obsessive? More aggressive? I'd say naming her kid after your husband reflects a huge escalation. You may want to do more research into stalking and learn about some strategies to manage it if you're the victim and also ways to help the person doing it.

Pancakebarbie007 − I misread the title and spent the half the post thinking you were a female, but I glad I did because like... if you were, this would be BAD bad. Like she’s trying to ruin your marriage. The fact that you’re a gay couple does NOT mean she gets a free pass. Gushing over a sibling’s spouse?

Openly admitting she’s with a watered-down version of your husband? Ick. Either she’s an all-around disrespectful woman and would have done this regardless of gender, or she’s disrespectful because she doesn’t see your marriage as seriously as a straight couple’s. Can’t decide which is worse.

How could she not have thought to MENTION that she was going to name her son after your husband? Brainless. I’d sit down and have a full on convo about the disrespect and possible homophobia. The child’s name is just the catalyst for a larger conversation, imo.. Congrats on the hot husband, you sound lovely too.

NachosPrecarioso − Your sister sounds mentally ill. I think you should just try and stay away from her. I'll assume that the father isn't really in the picture since if they were a couple, I'd assume the guy would pretty much leave as a result.

[Reddit User] − Have you talked with your husband? And more importantly, have you talked with HER husband? How do they feel?. I'm getting some serious stalker vibes, and I feel like her husband should be PISSED.

rthrouw1234 − That's weird as *f**k*.

[Reddit User] − What does your husband think about that?

Wileykid − She’s undermining your relationship because she doesn’t see it as a real marriage. There’s a big part of her that thinks your husband being gay is a huge inconvenience to their otherwise would be love affair. Wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks she can turn him one day. She sounds awful.

Radkeyoo − Take it from someone who's been there. She will make a move on him. Cut off before she ruins what you and your husband have.

These takes are bold, but do they capture the sister’s full intent? Is this obsession, disrespect, or something else?

This tale of a baby named after a beloved husband leaves us tangled in questions of boundaries, respect, and family ties. The man’s unease at his sister’s choice, layered with her odd fixation, hints at a deeper rift that a simple name can’t mask. Can a frank talk clear the air, or is distance the only fix? What would you do if a sibling crossed lines with your partner’s name? Share your stories, advice, or hot takes below—let’s keep this conversation buzzing!

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