[UPDATE] My (27F) boyfriend (28M) is obsessed with my ex (27M)?

In a cozy apartment once filled with laughter, a young woman’s world unraveled as her boyfriend’s strange fixation on her ex spiraled into a nightmare. What began as a sarcastic remark at a grocery store morphed into a year-long saga of manipulation, public humiliation, and boundary-crossing behavior. Now, her attempt to salvage their “near-perfect” relationship has crumbled, leaving her to pick up the pieces after a messy breakup.

This Reddit update, equal parts heartbreaking and infuriating, dives deeper into a relationship poisoned by insecurity and control. From dismissing her pleas for counseling to spreading lies post-split, her ex-boyfriend’s actions reveal a troubling pattern. As she finds relief in freedom, we’re left wondering: how does someone recover from such a toxic dynamic? Let’s explore her latest chapter.

For those who want to read the previous part: My (27F) boyfriend (28M) is obsessed with my ex (27M)?

‘[UPDATE] My (27F) boyfriend (28M) is obsessed with my ex (27M)?’

When a partner’s obsession with an ex turns into public shaming and boundary violations, it’s no longer quirky—it’s toxic. This woman’s ex-boyfriend didn’t just fixate on her ex; he weaponized it to control and demean her. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, explains, “Narcissistic behaviors often include triangulation—using a third party to manipulate and destabilize a partner” (Dr. Ramani’s website). His actions, from probing her past intimacy to bragging to her ex, fit this pattern to a tee.

His refusal to consider counseling and gaslighting her as “jealous” show a classic dodge of accountability. Asking intrusive questions about her sexual history, then sharing details with others, wasn’t curiosity—it was a power grab, eroding her dignity. The “loaning” comment about her to her ex was a grotesque overstep, signaling deep disrespect. Post-breakup, his smear campaign and relentless contact escalate the concern, hinting at potential stalking behavior.

This ties to a larger issue: emotional abuse in relationships. A 2021 study by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence found that 95% of abusive relationships involve emotional manipulation, often escalating after a breakup (NCADV). Her ex’s behavior—publicly humiliating her, contacting her family with lies—mirrors this, risking her safety and peace.

She’s taken a brave step by leaving, but safety comes first. Documenting his messages and consulting a women’s resource center, as Redditors suggested, could guide her toward a restraining order if needed. Therapy, via platforms like BetterHelp, could help her rebuild self-esteem.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s collective jaw dropped at this ex-boyfriend’s unhinged antics, serving up equal parts concern and sass. Here’s the community’s fiery feedback:

These Redditors see danger in his escalation, but are their fears justified? Is a restraining order the next step, or is there hope for a quieter resolution?

This woman’s escape from a toxic relationship is a victory, but the shadow of her ex’s harassment lingers. Her story reminds us that love shouldn’t cost your dignity—or your sanity. What would you do if an ex turned a breakup into a smear campaign? Have you ever had to cut ties with someone obsessed with control? Drop your thoughts below and let’s rally around her journey to healing.