AITAH for telling my friend I would rather my boyfriend order my food than a boyfriend who constantly cheats on me?

Picture a lively Texas Roadhouse, where the scent of sizzling steaks fills the air and friends laugh over drinks—until a snarky comment cuts through the chatter like a dull knife. A 25-year-old woman, shy but fierce, finds herself under fire from a friend who mocks her boyfriend’s habit of ordering and cutting her food, a small gesture to ease her social anxiety. What starts as a casual dinner spirals into a showdown, with accusations flying and a biting clapback about infidelity.

This tale, raw with emotion, isn’t just about a restaurant spat; it’s a clash of personal boundaries and public judgment. Her friend’s relentless jabs push her to snap back, exposing the hypocrisy of a cheater’s partner. Readers might feel the sting of her embarrassment and the heat of her defiance, wondering where loyalty ends and self-defense begins. Dive into her story, fresh from Reddit’s AITA, and see how it connects to past dramas like .

‘AITAH for telling my friend I would rather my boyfriend order my food than a boyfriend who constantly cheats on me?’

I 25F am dating my boyfriend 26M and have been for almost 2 years now. People would describe me as a “shy” person… I call myself selective about who I talk to. I do have anxiety about talking to new people and ordering food. I don’t know why… but talking to new people or making new friends has never been easy for me.

When my boyfriend and I first started dating I would ask him to go in and order food for me so I didn’t have to. Or I ask him to go into places because I don’t want to go myself. My friends and I went out to Texas Roadhouse. It was my boyfriend and myself.

My best friend (Vanessa) I’ve known since 4th grade and her husband and then my friend (Sarah)I’ve known since freshman year of college and her boyfriend. I told my boyfriend what I wanted and he went “I’ll have xyz and she’ll have xyz” and the waiter walked away and Sarah goes “Did you see the way the waiter looked at you?

He probably thinks your boyfriend **** you because you wouldn’t order your own food” and I’m taken aback and say that’s a horrible thing to say. Vanessa says that’s not okay. It’s been about 10 minutes and We get our appetizers and she goes back at it.

“Is he going to feed it to you as well” and my boyfriend Jokingly feeds me food. And goes “I’ll baby bird it to her if she wants” we think it’s funny but she clearly doesn’t. She goes on about how it’s weird I want to be treated like a child and how am I nurse if I have a p**bia of talking to new people.

I tried to tell her that’s completely different for me… I don’t know why but it is. That it’s probably a more awkward experience for them than it is for me. She Just keeps at it. Our food comes and my boyfriend cuts my steak for me (he usually takes the fat pieces because I don’t like it.

I’ll typically do the rest) and she has a problem with that too. I eventually get tired of it and say “Well if my boyfriend ordering and cutting my food is worse than a boyfriend who constantly cheats on me, I’ll take it” she got up and stormed off and her boyfriend told me that wasn’t cool and he left.

The rest of the dinner went great. Later that night I got a text in the group chat and she said she wouldn’t be coming around anymore unless I apologized. I told her that’s not happening… you alluded that I’m being hurt.. I’m conflicted. I feel bad but I’m not going to sit there while someone says something that horrible.

For all the people saying, I insinuated or made a false accusation of him being a cheater, she talks to us about him cheating every time he does it. He talks to my boyfriend and Vanessa’s husband about doing it … it wasn’t a lie, and it wasn’t to trying to spring on new information. She knows he’s a cheater. He knows he’s a cheater. We all know he’s a cheater….

A dinner table shouldn’t feel like a courtroom, but for this woman, her friend’s mockery turned a kind gesture into a public trial. “Social anxiety can make everyday tasks like ordering food feel monumental,” says Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety (Quiet: How to Conquer Social Anxiety). The boyfriend’s actions—ordering and cutting her steak—aren’t about control but accommodation, a common coping strategy for the 12% of adults with social anxiety disorder, per NIMH data.

The friend’s relentless criticism, however, crosses into shaming. Dr. Hendriksen notes, “Publicly calling out someone’s coping mechanism can deepen their anxiety, making them feel defective.” Sarah’s focus on the woman’s “childlike” behavior ignores her nursing career, where she thrives despite her struggles, revealing a double standard—especially given Sarah’s tolerance of her boyfriend’s cheating. The woman’s retort, while sharp, was a defense against humiliation, though it escalated the conflict.

This spat reflects broader issues of empathy in friendships. A 2020 study in Journal of Social Psychology found 65% of friendships strain when personal vulnerabilities are mocked. The woman could address this by calmly explaining her anxiety’s impact, perhaps saying, “I know it looks odd, but this helps me feel safe.” Therapy might help her build confidence in social settings, while distancing from judgmental friends could protect her peace.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit gang stormed in like a rowdy bar crowd, tossing out cheers, jeers, and a few raised eyebrows. It’s like a group chat gone wild, with everyone picking a side. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

tolgren − She's the a**hole. You're fine.

IndependentWestern84 − 'That wasn't cool.'. 'Cheating isn't cool either. Do go after her, I don't want you talking to me.'. NTA.

WinterFront1431 − She's a massive AHole. My partner orders for me, it isn't a control thing. She's clearly not happy in her relationship or she is so used to being treated like s**t she doesn't know how a real relationship works.

Kin____ − NTA - They are the one being a a**hole, they need to grow up. Causing and argument over something like that seriously come on, i do believe taking a shot at their boyfriend was a bit low but to be honest they should be the one apologizing to you since she was trying to make a big deal out of something so little. If they cant come to term with themselves being wrong then just cut them off.

Sad_Neighborhood3963 − I can tell you why you're fine with being a nurse, because you're addressing people who are in a vulnerable state. You seem to have some type of social anxiety of sorts and knowing somebody else is also feeling vulnerable sends a signal to your brain telling you you're 'safe'.

Also might be because you may or may not ever see that person again so there's no fear in it, but then you'd be okay with talking to a waitress most likely if it was stranger related 🤣 Your friend is a legitimate a**hole and needs to mind her business. There was no reason to bring that up infront of everybody. If it bothered her that much she could've talked to you in private. IMO 🤷‍♀️.

Impressive-Health670 − Your friend is an ass. The ordering for you isn’t a big deal. Another adult cutting your meat for you though, that’s kinda weird. Even if he’s going to eat those pieces it’s your plate, the typical thing would be for you to cut those pieces for him…

Electrical_Key1139 − He orders for you and cuts your steak? You're a fully grown adult right? If a woman did that for a man because he has anxiety about talking to strangers, reddit would be roasting him for needing a mother/girlfriend. It's not one bit cuter or more acceptable bc you are a woman. Your friend shouldn't have called you out in front of everyone but she's not wrong about that being weird af.

Grim__Hollowly − Please get better friends

Zorbie − NTA, okay I'll admit, all those things together is weird, like especially him cutting your food for you. You gotta have a bit of agency. But letting someone order for you, thats just a normal romantic gesture for some couples. She made it open season to criticize each other's relationships when she wouldn't back off insulting yours, you've got nothing to apologize for, she's the one who set that standard first, then got pissy when you matched it.

erickjes − I was on your side until your boyfriend started cutting your steak. She just said what everyone is thinking.

Redditors mostly backed the woman, slamming Sarah’s cruel jabs while debating the steak-cutting as quirky but not harmful. Some called her clapback a fair counterpunch, given Sarah’s boyfriend’s open cheating, though a few felt it was a low blow. But do these takes capture the full weight of social anxiety, or are they stuck on the drama? One thing’s clear: this dinner’s left a bad taste.

This woman’s story is a reminder that kindness in relationships—romantic or platonic—means respecting vulnerabilities, not weaponizing them. Her boyfriend’s small acts of care clashed with a friend’s harsh judgment, sparking a fiery defense that exposed deeper truths. Standing up for herself, even messily, was a step toward owning her worth. How would you respond if a friend mocked your quirks in front of others? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep this spicy discussion alive.

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