I (34M) failed a Tiktok relationship test and my wife (32F) is upset with me. How do I make it up to her?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The mall buzzes with weekend shoppers, a kaleidoscope of chatter and neon signs. A 34-year-old teacher and his wife, strolling hand-in-hand, are stopped by TikTok creators wielding a microphone and a grin. “Quick quiz about each other—up for it?” they ask. It sounds like a playful lark, a chance to shine as a couple. But as questions fly, he stumbles—blanking on their anniversary, her parents’ names, even her allergies. His wife’s smile fades, replaced by a sting of betrayal.

Her hurt cuts deeper than a public flub. It’s the fear he’s tuned out, that a decade of shared life hasn’t lodged these details in his heart. Shared on Reddit, their story mirrors countless couples wrestling with attentiveness and trust. His fumble, now viral, has sparked a firestorm of opinions, leaving him scrambling to prove his love before a planned getaway.

‘I (34M) failed a Tiktok relationship test and my wife (32F) is upset with me. How do I make it up to her?’

My wife (32F) and I (34M) were recently at a local mall when we were approached by a couple of younger guys with a microphone and a camera, filming content for a Tiktok channel.

They asked us if we’d be okay answering a couple of questions about each other and being posted online, it sounded fun and I’ve seen videos in this vein before so I said sure. My wife said okay as well. They asked us questions about each other- first basic stuff like eye color or favorite food, but quickly getting more specific and niche.

I don’t know if it was being put on the spot or just me being “off my game” so to speak, but there were several questions I couldn’t answer immediately or correctly, like our anniversary or her parents’ names or if she has any allergies. My wife is beyond upset and says it’s clear that I either don’t listen to her or don’t care.

I know why she feels that way and I totally understand but she’s wrong, I do care and I do listen I just couldn’t remember those answers in the moment. I’m planning a trip for us over Spring Break (we’re both teachers) but now I just want to solve this before I surprise her with a trip. What should I do? How can I show her that I do care?

A mall quiz turned marital minefield reveals how small oversights can wound deeply. The husband’s failure to recall basic facts—anniversary, in-laws’ names, allergies—signals to his wife a lack of attention, even if unintentional. Her pain stems from feeling unseen in a partnership meant to be intimate.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, emphasizes, “Love is in the details—knowing what matters to your partner shows you’re invested”. Here, the husband’s memory lapse, under pressure or not, highlights a gap. Research shows 70% of marital conflicts tie to unmet expectations, like being known deeply.

This issue reflects broader communication challenges. He could start by memorizing key details, perhaps using a journal to track her preferences. Couples therapy might uncover why he blanked and rebuild trust. A heartfelt apology, paired with consistent effort—like planning dates that show he listens—could mend the rift.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s response was a lively mix of disbelief and advice. Users were stunned that the husband didn’t know “basic” details like his wife’s parents’ names or allergies, emphasizing these weren’t niche questions.

Many suggested he apologize sincerely and actively learn these facts, warning that his wife’s hurt could signal deeper trust issues if left unaddressed.

[Reddit User] − Do you actually not know her parents names or your anniversary or her birthday and stuff or were you just put on the spot and fumbled? Id be pissed if my wife didn't know my parents names lol bruh

changhyun − Dude. When you said the questions were niche I was thinking stuff like 'What's her favourite okra-based recipe?' or 'Which member of the Avengers does she think is the best with cats?', not *when's your anniversary*.

sashaopinion − Sorry but since when are the names of her parents or your anniversary niche questions?! And allergies??? That does seem insane. I would totally get if it was an actual niche question like the theme of the birthday party she had when she was 7. But those are pretty basic questions. You grovel like you've never grovelled before and you actually listen to her and change your behaviour.

Early_Inspector988 − Try learning her parents names and the things that will kill her. That's a good start.

Green-Election-74 − quickly getting more specific and niche. like our anniversary, her parents names or if she had any allergies I’m sorry what? You can’t answer this about *your spouse?*

There is either some sort of processing disorder or cognitive impairment at play or you have been profoundly neglecting to pay any attention to your wife. A grand gesture along with **a very sincere apology and listening to and doing what she says she needs to fix this** is probably your best hope.

Great_Art693 − Knowing your anniversary and your in law’s names is the most basic stuff and not niche AT ALL. I’d be FURIOUS if my boyfriend didn’t know it either. Do you even loc this woman? 

secretbeans1367 − Do you struggle answering quick fire questions? Like if someone asks your age you have to assess what’s been asked fully before thinking about it then answering?. Do you struggle with auditory processing?

[Reddit User] − TikTok is going to crucify you in the comments.. And rightfully so.. You dont know her PARENTS names???. You don’t know when YOU got married???. You don’t know what she is allergic too??

Let me guess if you have kids, you won’t know bdays or allergies or doctors names or teachers and the emotional burden will be on your wife. She should be upset because she knows the awful future that awaits her and other wives like her with husbands like you.

[Reddit User] − I was all ready to berate her for playing stupid Tiktok games, but wow did that take a turn.. You seriously don't know your anniversary, or her parents’ names, or if she has any *allergies*? Dude.. How can I show her that I do care?. You can't. Because you clearly don't. She must be devastated.

w3rehamster − Make an effort to learn all these things. None of the questions you mentioned were niche, they didn't ask you who her 6th grade English teacher was, parents' names are super basic.

On another note, knowing her basic medical info like allergies is super important. What if she has to go to the hospital and can't speak for herself you need to know that stuff. Allergies, past procedures, preexisting conditions, and meds.

This TikTok misstep proves love lives in the little things—knowing your partner’s story by heart. His wife’s hurt is a wake-up call, but his desire to make amends shows promise. By listening and learning, he can rebuild her trust.

Have you faced a moment where a partner’s oversight stung? Share how you moved forward in the comments—let’s swap stories and solutions!

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