AITA for not offering my coworker a ride?

Picture a bustling office parking lot, the late afternoon sun glinting off car hoods as coworkers scramble to head home. Amid the chatter, one man feels a quiet dread as a new coworker, Sarah, strides confidently toward his car, expecting a ride without so much as a text. For our 26-year-old protagonist, this moment isn’t just about a lift—it’s about boundaries, unspoken rules, and the awkward dance of workplace dynamics. His polite refusal sparks a ripple of gossip, leaving him wondering if he’s the villain in this carpool saga.

The Reddit post captures a relatable clash: the pressure to be “nice” versus the right to say no. Readers are drawn into the tension, questioning where courtesy ends and entitlement begins. With coworkers now casting side-eyes, the stakes feel higher than a simple ride home. Let’s dive into the story and see what unfolded.

‘AITA for not offering my coworker a ride?’

I (26M) carpool with a few coworkers to save on gas and tolls. We have a group chat, and I’ve made it clear in the past that I don’t mind driving people, but I like a heads-up. This week, one of our newer coworkers, Sarah (24F), just assumed she could get a ride home from me after a meeting in another office.

She never asked—she just walked to my car and waited by the passenger door. I told her I hadn’t planned to drive her and had other errands to run. She got annoyed and said, “It’s literally on your way, what’s the big deal?” I still said no, and she ended up Ubering.

Later, I heard she told a few people at work that I was “weirdly rude” and made her feel stranded. Now a few coworkers are giving me side-eyes like I broke some unwritten rule. I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong—if she had asked ahead of time, I probably would’ve said yes. AITA?

assumption clashed with the OP’s need for clear communication, creating a classic boundary dispute. The OP’s frustration is understandable—offering rides is a courtesy, not a contract. Sarah’s reaction, however, hints at differing expectations, perhaps shaped by a workplace culture where favors are assumed.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: the unspoken rules of workplace etiquette. A 2023 study by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) found that 68% of employees feel pressured to perform favors to maintain good relationships at work (source: SHRM Workplace Culture Report). Sarah’s entitlement may stem from such norms, but her gossiping escalates the conflict unnecessarily.

Dr. Amy Edmondson, a Harvard Business School professor, notes, “Clear communication is the bedrock of healthy workplace relationships. Assumptions erode trust faster than direct requests” (source: Harvard Business Review). Here, Sarah’s failure to ask upfront put the OP in an awkward spot. His refusal, while firm, was within his rights, especially with prior errands planned.

For solutions, the OP could clarify his carpool boundaries in the group chat, reinforcing that rides require advance notice. Sarah, meanwhile, could benefit from a candid conversation about workplace norms.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit community didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sass and sympathy. Here are some of their spicier takes:

spammom − Is she creating a hostile work environment by going around and telling other coworkers about this? HR if she is.

Candid-Television889 − The fact that she threw you under the bus is what pisses me off. I hate when people do that.

IamIrene − Sarah (24F), just assumed. She never asked—she just walked to my car and waited by the passenger door.. Sounds like Sarah is very entitled.. She got annoyed and said, “It’s literally on your way, what’s the big deal?”. I'm guessing she isn't used to hearing the word 'no', lol.

Glad you stuck to your guns.. I heard she told a few people at work that I was “weirdly rude” and made her feel stranded.. *Proje-e-e-e-e-ction!* Why can't people like this see they are guilty of what they accuse others of?? It's so annoying.. NTA. She got what her behavior earned for her.

Initial_Potato5023 − NTA For your own sanity seriously think about ENDING the car pool. This looks like it has turned into a I will be giving FOREVER rides to all. It's not worth it being tied down like this. CUT the chord you will be so RELIEVED. Trust me on this

aim4theface − I once had a job that was in Santa Fe. I live in Albuquerque, so it's about an hour drive. A woman who also lived in Albuquerque who worked with me asked if I could give her a ride. She asked like it was a one-time thing. So I said yes. I had to be at work by 5am. So I had to leave town by 4am. I had to drive 10 minutes in the opposite direction.

Get to her apartment, call her, and wait for her to come out. Then she talked my ear off the whole ride. She then acted like this was going to be an everyday thing. I had to make up a lie that I moved to SF and no longer could give her a ride. She never spoke to me again. Some people just use others for their needs. Once they figure out they can't get anything from you, they turn sour.

DangerLime113 − NTA- “I have plans after work and I’m not going home,” who can argue with that?!

Interesting_Sand_428 − You should’ve said sure, then took her for a 2 hour errand run.

fancyandfab − You're not a taxi, bus, ride share etc. She can't just rock up at the last minute and go wherever she wants. You barely know her. She could have at least messaged you

Individual_Ad_9213 − NTA. The rude one was your coworker who just assumed that you'd be okay with giving her a ride home.

Manager-Opening − Made her feel stranded?? How? Did she start work already thinking you were going to give her a lift? Who the f**k does that? Let alone even knowing you, if we had got on really well and seemed like we would become good friends, your first invite i would politely decline since I wouldn't want to be imposing so early on.

These Reddit hot takes are bold, but do they capture the full picture? Or are they just fanning the workplace flames?

This carpool clash shows how quickly assumptions can spark drama. The OP stood his ground, but Sarah’s gossip turned a small refusal into office lore. It’s a reminder that clear communication can prevent a lot of headaches. What do you think—should the OP have offered the ride, or was he right to stick to his boundaries? Drop your thoughts below and share your own workplace etiquette tales!

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