Am I wrong for wanting to sleep with my husband?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture this: a sun-soaked summer getaway, filled with laughter and long-awaited family adventures. But for one woman, the excitement of a two-week trip with her parents, sister, and husband dims under the shadow of a peculiar problem—sleeping arrangements that feel more like a sitcom mix-up than a vacation plan. Expected to share a bed with her sister while her husband is relegated to a cot on the floor, she’s torn between gratitude for the free trip and a nagging sense of disrespect to her marriage.

This quirky family dynamic unfolds in a Reddit post that’s equal parts relatable and cringe-worthy. As the woman grapples with her discomfort, readers are drawn into a debate about fairness, family expectations, and the unspoken rules of vacation etiquette. Her dilemma sparks a lively discussion, leaving us wondering: how far should gratitude stretch when personal boundaries are at stake?

‘Am I wrong for wanting to sleep with my husband?’

My family (Mom, Dad, Sister), invited my husband and I on a trip over this summer. It’s a little under 2 weeks long. They have found it hard to find hotel rooms for 5, so they have booked many for 4 and then asked ahead of time for a cot. Here’s the thing. Everyone seems to expect that my parents will share a bed, my sister and I will share a bed, and my husband will sleep on the floor.

When my brother used to come on these trips this was our set up, but this isn’t my brother, this is my husband! I know my sister would pitch a fit about having to be the one to sleep on the floor, but it feels disrespectful to my relationship to me to have my husband sleep on the floor.

On the other hand, my parents are essentially covering every expense, and I guess it’s not a big deal?? I’m thinking maybe I also sleep on the floor in solidarity and let my sister have the bed, or us as a couple and my sister take turns sleeping on the floor. Am I wrong for pushing this? If so, I’ll drop it. If not, what can I say to amicably make my stance clear?.

Edit: Alright folks. I am still totally lost. I think the most common opinion is that my husband and I should pay for our own room. I’m going to go through the hotels and if there are any we can spring for our own room in we will do so. My family is paying for this vacation because it is about 3 hours away from where we live and they are coming out specifically to spend time with us, knowing we don’t have much in the way of finances.

I just got off the phone with my mother and she isn’t sure that both my husband and I will have the space to sleep on the floor. This is my most preferred option and I hope to make it work even if it’s a bit crowded. Also to be clear: when I say the floor I mean a twin size air mattress and a cot provided by the hotel (no idea if it’s like a camping cot, a pull out couch, or whatever). As for who gets the bed, the answers seem to be very conflicted.

A lot of people are saying that my husband obviously has priority and my sister should be the one on the air mattress, and that insisting he sleep on the floor is very disrespectful, while a lot of others are saying my husband should be a gentleman and let the ladies have the bed, and that because my sister and I are related to my parents it only makes sense that we have the bed.

A lot of people are saying this is so weird and they have no idea why we would do this and that it will be miserable. The hotel is not the focal point of the trip. I am actually very excited for the trip! Yes it’s awkward that we are all in the same room, I strongly agree, but also, we are doing some really fun activities that all of us have wanted to do for a long time!

We are all very excited for this trip, and my husband and I have thoroughly expressed our gratitude for my family covering the financial aspects of the trip. This was just the part that troubled me and I thought I could use some advice on. I think I will ensure that this is not how accommodations are set up on future trips, but for now, we will probably still be sharing the room for most of the trip.

My husband and I will be on air mattresses and cots, and maybe trade off with my sister in each new hotel for the bed, so we all get equal time in bed vs cot/airbed. Though of course if my sister disagrees my husband and I will just take the floor. Thank you all for your input, and I hope you all have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening..

Update: Hi! Temporarily deleted Reddit because it was giving me crazy anxiety. Just popping in to let y’all know what happened! The first night, we gave up the bed to my little sister. I think then my father realized how uncomfortable the accommodations were,

and changed our reservations to be in hotels and airbnbs with 2-3 rooms that everyone was happy with, which was more expensive but immediately worth it. So it thankfully ended up only being an issue for one night! I think we will not sign up to travel with them again unless we know there will be enough rooms. Thank you everybody for your input!

Family vacations can be a delightful bonding experience, but they can also unearth tricky dynamics, as this woman discovered. The expectation that she share a bed with her sister while her husband sleeps on the floor raises questions about respect and boundaries in blended family settings. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Respecting a couple’s unity is crucial for maintaining trust and intimacy” (The Gottman Institute). This perspective suggests the family’s arrangement might unintentionally undermine the couple’s bond.

Analyzing the situation, the woman’s discomfort stems from a clash between gratitude for her parents’ generosity and her desire to prioritize her marriage. Her parents, likely accustomed to old family patterns, may not see the issue, while her sister’s reluctance to give up the bed adds tension. This dynamic reflects a broader issue: navigating boundaries in adult family relationships. A 2022 study from the American Psychological Association found that 60% of adults report family vacations as a source of stress due to differing expectations (APA).

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes clear communication to maintain healthy relationships. For the woman, calmly explaining her need to sleep beside her husband could bridge the gap. Her solution to sleep on the floor in solidarity or trade off with her sister shows compromise, but booking a separate room, as some Redditors suggested, might have been ideal if finances allowed.

For readers facing similar situations, experts recommend setting boundaries early. Discuss sleeping arrangements before booking and consider contributing financially to secure comfort. Open dialogue, paired with gratitude, can prevent resentment.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s hot takes on this vacation conundrum are as varied as a hotel breakfast buffet—some practical, others hilariously dramatic. Here’s what the community had to say:

oneprestigiousplum − Get your own room with your husband..

[Reddit User] − Why are they looking for rooms for five? Book two rooms y’all are all adults.

kitntrip − That's a trip I would not take and I would never want to share a room with my parents with my husband.

Mehitabel9 − Wait a sec. Two weeks *sharing a single room*? With your parents, sister and husband?. Yikes. on. bikes.

[Reddit User] − I would stab my eyeballs out if I had to share 1 room with 4 adults for 2 weeks, floor or otherwise. Esh

ScoutSteveR − I have to say I think I it’s incredibly sweet and thoughtful that you would rather sleep on the floor with your husband in solidarity. You’re the kind of people who stay married and stay happy. Good on you. You’re a good person.

[Reddit User] − Free misery doesn't beat paid bliss.. Get yourselves a room. Seriously. It's not even the logistics. It's being miserable every day, because you catch zero Zzzs either lying on the floor or sharing space with people who might snore, toss and turn and otherwise keep you up half the night.

mamiesb2001 − Bring an air mattress and sleep on the floor.

1quincytoo − 5 adults sharing 1 hotel room with 1 bathroom??. Sounds pretty cramped. Heck even on vacation with my husband after a few days I want my own hotel room

Smarterthntheavgbear − Buy a blow up bed, a twin costs $30 at Walmart. The whole setup is about the size of a sleeping bag and can be deflated in the morning.Maybe your sis will be nice and sleep on it, so you can sleep with hubby. No way I'd expect grownups to sleep on the floor!

These opinions range from “get your own room” to “yikes, I’d rather not go!” But do they capture the full picture, or are they just armchair critics having a field day?

In the end, this family’s vacation hiccup turned into a lesson in communication and compromise, with a happy ending thanks to a quick-thinking dad. It’s a reminder that even the best-intentioned plans can hit a snag when expectations clash. Whether you’re team “sleep on the floor in solidarity” or team “book a separate room,” this story sparks a bigger question about balancing gratitude with personal comfort. What would you do if you were in this woman’s shoes? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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