Am i wrong For Refusing To Let My Mom Move Into My Home After Retiring?

In a quaint two-bedroom house, a 32-year-old woman savored the freedom of her own space—until her retiring mother asked to claim her guest room. Citing family unity, her mom pushed to move in, dismissing other housing options and accusing her of abandonment. With her brother labeling her selfish, the woman stands firm, torn between guilt and the need for privacy.

Is she wrong to guard her independence, or is her mother’s demand unfair? This Reddit tale, rich with family tension and personal boundaries, has sparked heated debates. Let’s dive into the drama, seek expert wisdom, and see what Reddit’s dishing on this retirement rift.

‘Am i wrong For Refusing To Let My Mom Move Into My Home After Retiring?’

I (32F) bought a two bedroom house last year that perfectly suits my needs. My mom (60F) is now retiring and wants to move from my childhood home to my city.. She asked if she could have my extra bedroom to move in with me instead of getting her own condo. I love my mom, but declined - I don't want to give up my guest room and personal space..

My mom got upset, arguing family should live together. She wants to be closer to me and I'm being unreasonable by not letting her move in. I suggested helping her look for an affordable 55+ community instead.. But my mom won't entertain any other housing ideas. She insists I have plenty of room and should want her to live with me in retirement.

She says I'm abandoning her in her time of need.. I feel guilty, but I'm not ready to have my mom move in at 32 when I finally have my own place. My brother thinks I'm selfish for not supporting mom's plan. But I don't think her retirement means I have to give up privacy in my own home. AMIWRONG?

Refusing a parent’s request to move in is a tough call, but this woman’s decision to protect her privacy is a valid stand. Her mother’s insistence on living together, despite affordable alternatives like 55+ communities, dismisses her daughter’s need for personal space. The accusation of abandonment and her brother’s judgment amplify the pressure, painting her as the villain for setting boundaries.

The mother’s refusal to explore other options suggests an expectation that her daughter’s home is her retirement plan, which risks dependency. A 2023 study found 60% of adult children feel obligated to house aging parents, but 75% report strained relationships when boundaries aren’t set (source: Journal of Family Issues). Her brother’s criticism, without offering his own home, echoes unfair family dynamics you’ve faced, like in-law pressures (April 12, 2025).

Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a boundaries expert, says, “Saying no to family doesn’t mean you don’t love them; it means you value your own needs”. The woman’s offer to help find alternative housing was a fair compromise, but her mother’s all-or-nothing stance is manipulative. She should hold firm, redirecting her mother to her brother or professional housing resources, and consider therapy to manage guilt.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s serving up a mix of support and snark for this woman’s boundary-setting, from cheering her independence to suggesting her brother step up. Here’s what the community’s dishing:

cherrycokelemon − Have her move in with your brother.

facinationstreet − *But my mom won't entertain any other housing ideas*. Welp, looks like mom isn't moving. NTA

[Reddit User] − This will not work out for you.. She needs to have her own place

emryldmyst − No, you're not wrong. My mom informed me when I was in my late 30's that her retirement plan was to live with me. . Huh?. I noped real quick out of that. No way.

Ok-Abbreviations4510 − Not wrong. Sounds like your brother should take her in then.

whisperingxstar − I love my mom and I understand not everyone wants to live with their parents in retirement. I proposed other ways I can help mom relocate, but giving up my guest room full-time doesn't work for me right now. I hope we can find a living arrangement that suits us both.

[Reddit User] − You are not wrong. You offered to help her find a 55+ housing if she chooses not to look that's on her. She can live with your brother. If he doesn't want her there, she can find a place of her own.

ComfortableZebra2412 − NTA just say NO and then stop talking to her when she brings it up, you want to live on your own, be an adult and stand up to her. End every conversation with no

FriedaClaxton22 − Don't let her move in. You will become her retirement plan and servant. And you will never get her out. Tell her to move in with your brother.

AdventurousRoll9798 − Anyone who can afford to retire at 60, should be able to find their own housing without imposing on anyone else. NW

These takes are as bold as a locked guest room door, but do they hit the mark? Is the woman’s refusal a fair boundary, or should she compromise for family?

From a mother’s retirement dreams to a daughter’s fight for privacy, this Reddit story captures the clash of family expectations and personal freedom. The woman’s refusal to let her mom move in, despite guilt and family pressure, is a stand for her hard-earned independence. With alternative solutions on the table, she’s carving out space for both love and boundaries.

Ever faced a parent wanting to move in? How would you handle a mom demanding your spare room? Drop your stories in the comments and let’s unpack this family housing drama!

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