Am I wrong for being upset with my husband?

Looming across continents, modern relationships often hinge on the tap of a finger. When a trusting marriage is tested by the glow of a smartphone screen, even the strongest bond can feel fragile. Imagine the pang of seeing your partner’s profile brimming with new follows—all women from a foreign land—just as the miles stretch between you.

In this case, a young wife’s unease blossoms into concern as she scrolls through her husband’s Instagram following while he’s away for work. What started as harmless curiosity quickly becomes a mirror reflecting past betrayals. As the distance grows, so does her fear that simple likes and DMs are the seeds of infidelity—and a mountain that seems impossible to climb.

‘Am I wrong for being upset with my husband?’

My (24f) husband (24f) have been together for 4 years married for 1. Early on in the relationship while we were dating, I went into his instagram and saw that he followed and frequently looked up attractive women. He would save their pics and sometimes dm them complimenting them.

I left him for a while but eventually got back together. We went through counseling, his suggestion and still do from time to time. There hasn’t been any other issue or any reason to doubt him until now. His job has taken him away from home for approximately 3 weeks.

He’s in a total different country. This has been the longest we’ve been away from each other and my mind has been wondering. We talk as much as we can, he tells me he misses me everyday but i’m an overthinker tbh.

So I did something I haven’t done in a while. I looked through his instagram following. I noticed his top new followings includes women from the country he’s in. I calmly texted him and asked what is the explanation for this.

He says basically I’m just overthinking and he’s not doing anything, they are just people he interacted with. So I asked if he only interacted with women because none of his new followings are men. He keeps saying he’s not doing anything and I’m making a mountain out of nothing but idk.. Am i wrong?

Distance has a way of magnifying every doubt, turning small uncertainties into looming shadows. In this story, the wife’s recollection of past betrayals collides with the current reality of her husband halfway across the globe. Even the simplest Instagram follow can feel like a breach of faith. When history and geography combine, the mind races, searching for signs of disloyalty where there may be none.

Long-distance relationships can thrive—research shows they often match in-person partnerships in overall satisfaction when partners maintain clear expectations and regular communication. Yet, without the comfort of daily routines and physical presence, even minor actions can loom large. A flurry of new follows or casual direct messages may seem harmless, but to someone already on edge, they spark a cascade of “what ifs” that can erode confidence and fuel endless overthinking.

Trust issues can warp perception, causing neutral behaviors to be interpreted as deliberate slights. After experiencing unfaithfulness, it’s common to view every notification or profile visit as a potential threat. This cognitive bias makes it difficult to discern true intent—innocent interactions on social media become obstacles rather than opportunities to connect. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward distinguishing genuine concerns from fear-driven assumptions.

Rebuilding security hinges on establishing transparent boundaries and nurturing reassurance. Couples can agree on social-media norms—perhaps sharing friend lists or letting each other know when interactions arise. Scheduled video calls, daily check-ins, and small shared rituals (like sending a good-night voice note) reinforce intimacy despite the miles. By creating predictable touchpoints and mutual guidelines, partners transform a digital minefield into a bridge of trust and understanding.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Across Reddit, readers largely empathized with the wife’s anxiety, noting that past breaches of trust make even small social-media interactions feel threatening. Many pointed out that sliding into DMs and liking photos can easily be misconstrued when you’re already on edge, turning innocent scrolling into a source of tension.

Others argued that a healthy marriage should accommodate harmless online engagement, provided there’s transparency and respect for agreed-upon boundaries. A smaller but vocal group felt that repeated flirtatious behavior online signals deeper issues, emphasizing that true commitment means resisting those temptations outright. Ultimately, opinions coalesced around the idea that clear communication and mutual rules are key to keeping social media from undermining trust.

AromaticHobo − As a dude who is not on instagram or anything, why is he doing that? Like, what's his end goal? Looking at pictures, I can understand. But

He's acting like a simp. Ask him,

Electronic_Demand_61 − Looking at Instagram girls? That's whatever.. Dming them compliments? Nah, dawg, you have every right to be mad.

[Reddit User] − 24? Trust issues? Move on. It's early for you

Cymru1961 − No, you’re not wrong. But if you value monogamy so much, you’re married to the wrong man. Period.

song_without_words − He's fishing.

rayio − I had instragram for like 2 weeks. A lot of my family is on there, and my kids, so I decided to try it. I posted like 8 pics of things. I got messages from girls in my city asking me if I'd want to hangout and other girls in the US asking me where I live, sending me nudes asking for nudes, so I deleted it.

I showed my wife and she thought it was funny, she knows I'm not interested in anyone else, she's the love of my life. I don't know why a married guy would be looking for attention and trying to talk to women. Obviously he's hoping that one of them will throw a line his way and he could meet them.

I don't understand men who are married being such dumb asses. He's hoping for something, or why would he be messaging them. A lot of thirsty people on there. I stopped using it like 10 days ago, 2 weeks was enough for me to know I was done.

Lucky_Log2212 − NW. He has a roaming eye. You have to ask yourself if you think it will progress past just looking and into something that he goes out and pursues. You can only answer this question, and it seems from your actions of looking into his Instagram, you have a problem with him looking at other women. Doesn't mean he will cheat, but what is the purpose of it then?

Glittersparkles7 − YNW. Any guy that dms a woman on instragram complimenting her is trying to get laid. Your husband is trash.

LocalBrilliant5564 − Honey I’m so sorry to say this but this man is not for you. For the rest of your life you’re going to feel this way it’s never going to go away because he betrayed your trust once already. Do you really wanna end up wondering why he’s ten minutes late one day?

Chrishcounty23 − This is cheating. D**p him.

Trust is the bedrock of any lasting relationship, yet it demands constant care—especially when miles and screens stand between you. Open communication, agreed-upon boundaries, and empathy can turn a digital minefield into a shared path.

Have you ever felt jealousy flare up in a long-distance relationship? How did you rebuild trust? Share your stories and strategies below!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *