AITA for Uninviting My Adoptive Brothers from My Wedding After They Said They Don’t See Me as Family?

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In a dining room warmed by Sunday dinner, a child’s innocent family tree project shattered a man’s sense of belonging. His adoptive brothers, one with a sharp tongue and the other with stinging silence, declared him no true sibling, unraveling years of his support and love. Now, as his wedding day nears, he’s uninvited them, sparking a family feud that might keep his parents away too.

Was he wrong to draw this line, or is he protecting his heart from further hurt? This Reddit saga, raw with pain and family fractures, has ignited passionate debates. Let’s dive into the turmoil, seek expert wisdom, and explore Reddit’s takes on this wedding-day showdown.

‘AITA for Uninviting My Adoptive Brothers from My Wedding After They Said They Don’t See Me as Family?’

I’m a 32-year-old man, and I’m getting married to my long-time girlfriend soon. What should be one of the happiest moments of my life has turned into a heartbreaking ordeal because of a deepening rift in my family. To give you some background: I’m my parents’ biological son, and when I was 12, they adopted two boys who were biological siblings—Jack, who was 8, and Liam, who was 5.

From the very beginning, it was clear that things were going to be tough. Jack came with severe behavioural issues due to some intense trauma (I’ll spare the details, but it was significant). I tried my hardest to be understanding, but living with him was nothing short of exhausting. His outbursts were constant, and I often felt like I was walking on eggshells, terrified of setting him off.

As we grew older, I continued to try to be there for Jack, despite everything. A few years ago, Jack fell into a devastating d**g addiction. I stood by him through his darkest moments, supporting him through rehab, and doing everything I could to help him get back on his feet. It was draining and heartbreaking, but I did it because I loved him and believed that, despite our challenges, we were still brothers.

Liam, on the other hand, was always easier to get along with, and I formed a closer bond with him. But even so, I always felt like an outsider. Jack and Liam’s bond as biological siblings was undeniable, and I never quite felt like I was truly a part of it. It was like I was always on the edge, looking in, trying to be included but never fully accepted. The situation came to a head recently at a Sunday dinner at my parents’ house.

My son was working on his summer homework, which involved creating a family tree. He innocently asked Jack if he wanted to be included, and Jack just flat-out said no. He didn’t want to be part of it because, in his exact words, “We’re not real brothers.” He said it so casually, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, with no regard for how much it would cut me to the core.

I was utterly stunned, but what shattered me even more was that Liam, who I’ve always felt closer to, just sat there in silence. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t defend me or even acknowledge how hurtful Jack’s words were. He just let it happen. I’ve tried so hard to be supportive of both of them, especially Jack, despite the endless challenges. So, for Jack to say that, and for Liam to do nothing, felt like a gut punch.

It was as if they were both telling me, in no uncertain terms, that I was never truly part of their family. In my pain and frustration, I decided to uninvite both Jack and Liam from my wedding. My fiancée has been nothing but supportive of my decision, but my parents are furious.

They’ve made it clear that if Jack and Liam aren’t invited, they won’t attend either. It feels like history is repeating itself, with my parents once again prioritising Jack over me, no matter how much it hurts me. I’m absolutely heartbroken that my parents would choose to miss my wedding rather than support me in this.

I know Jack has been through a lot, but I’ve done everything I can to be there for him and for Liam, despite all the heartache. And now, I feel like I’m the one being punished for finally standing up for myself and setting some boundaries. AITA for uninviting my brothers after they said they don’t see me as family, even if it means my parents won’t come to my wedding?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

For a man who poured years into supporting his adoptive brothers, Jack’s casual dismissal of their bond and Liam’s silence were a double blow. His decision to uninvite them from his wedding is a bold boundary, born from decades of feeling like an outsider in his own family. His parents’ threat to skip the event, prioritizing Jack’s feelings, echoes a pattern of favoritism that’s left him sidelined before.

Jack’s troubled past and addiction don’t excuse his cruelty, especially after the OP’s unwavering support through rehab. Liam’s inaction, despite their closer bond, suggests loyalty to Jack over the OP, deepening the betrayal. A 2022 study found 67% of blended families struggle with loyalty conflicts, often leaving biological children feeling marginalized when parents favor adopted siblings (source: Journal of Family Psychology).

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a blended family expert, says, “Clear boundaries are vital in blended families to prevent resentment. Parents must mediate fairly, or rifts grow”. The OP’s parents failed to address Jack’s words or support their son, exacerbating the divide. He should send a letter, as Reddit suggests, detailing his hurt and efforts, giving his parents a chance to reconsider. Therapy could help him process this rejection and protect his son from toxic dynamics.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating rejection in blended families. The OP’s situation echoes your past struggles with family boundaries, like your sister’s oversteps or in-laws’ demands (April 12 & 16, 2025), showing the need for firm limits.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s dishing out a mix of empathy and outrage for this groom’s tough call, from cheering his boundary-setting to slamming his parents’ bias. Here’s what the community’s serving:

Snowybird60 − NTA Liam and Jack have been in your family for 20 years. If you all aren't family by now what the f**k are you? I have a major issue with your parents. They're definitely the assholes in all of this. The minute Jack said that to your son, they should have spoken up and defended you.

The fact that they let him get away with it and now are saying they won't attend your wedding is b**lshit. I would tell them not to bother coming to your wedding and that you hope they'll be happy with their 2 sons. Then I would take my son and go full NC with them.

FitzDesign − Your wedding, your invitation list. Before you rescind the invitations I would suggest you send your parents a text or email explaining all of your efforts and the hurt you feel over what your siblings have done. If your parents choose not to attend, then you know where their loyalty lies and you can cut all of them off without guilt knowing that you tried.. Go live your best life with your wife and the people that truly love you.. NTA

nick4424 − Tell your parents if they don’t attend your wedding, then you will go no contact with them.

cigarettesAFTRsx − NTA. It's your wedding, you should have people there that love and support you. I hope you and your fiancée have the best day, and I hope your son doesn't take those, frankly rude, comments to heart

thinksying − IDK - did you get a chance to talk to Liam one on one? If not, you should try that one last time before you go no contact. He might have been worried about setting Jack off, but you need some answers from your parents and Liam as to why it is ok to say that you aren't ready family. But yeah, if they don't want to be your family, then they don't get to have the good times... If course you need to make sure you don't help them out any more.

DragonScrivner − Ugh, I’m sorry OP, that really sucks. I would uninvite your entire immediate family and make 100% sure they know why it’s happening. That you love and have supported them, only for them to make you feel like an outsider, and it’s now time for you to prioritize your own well-being and the family you’ve made over your parents and adopted brothers.

You need to go no contact or low contact with them all and, honestly, keep them away from your kid(s); they’re clearly not hesitant to speak poorly of you to your son and that’s not cool. Be kind to yourself, OP. Family isn’t all about blood and sometimes the family we choose/find/make is the family we really need.. NTA

ShrinkingUniverse − NTA your feelings are valid and justified. You would assume your parents would attempt to mediate in some way to bring the situation back together rather than further driving it apart by threatening not to come to the day that is supposed to be your happiest. Props to your SO who is standing by your feelings in the same way your parents should be, hope you both have an amazing day and many happy years together!

bumbalarie − Protect your son & future children from the toxicity you, unfortunately, have carried with you. You don’t want your kids to experience the stress of tiptoeing around their own home. Or the heartbreak of ignorant parenting. Be grateful for your supportive fiance & your son.

Continue to build “your“ own healthy family. Do better than your parents. You will not miss them should you decide to move on to healthier pastures. *The detailed letter expressing your feelings & experiences is a solid idea. If your parents choose to attend, it’s a start. Don’t let them ruin another day of your happiness.

Efficient-Cupcake247 − Not wrong JustNoFamily

redditreader_aitafan − Is it possible they just didn't feel they belonged on the family tree because they are not biological brothers and that's what he meant? A family tree is usually genealogy, I can see that being their thinking and making that comment without meaning it in the way you took it.

These takes are as raw as an open wound, but do they hit the mark? Was uninviting the brothers a justified stand, or should he have sought clarity first?

From a child’s family tree to a wedding guest list slashed in pain, this Reddit tale reveals the deep scars of family rejection. The groom’s choice to exclude his adoptive brothers, met with his parents’ ultimatum, marks a stand for self-respect amid decades of feeling sidelined. With his fiancée by his side, he’s rewriting his family’s story, one boundary at a time.

Ever had a family member deny your bond at a pivotal moment? How would you handle brothers rejecting you before your wedding? Spill your stories in the comments and let’s unpack this heart-wrenching family drama!

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