update 2: Am I wrong for breaking up with my boyfriend?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a whirlwind of heartbreak and betrayal, a 23-year-old woman’s life unraveled when she discovered her boyfriend of four years, Chris, cheated with a friend’s girlfriend. Leaving a note and fleeing to her sister’s house, she hoped to sever ties, but his obsessive stalking kept her on edge. A fleeting moment of calm shattered when a mutual friend revealed Chris’s alleged suicide attempt, plunging her into a storm of guilt and fear, haunted by childhood trauma from a neighbor’s tragic death.

Now in Boston with her mother, far from the chaos, she grapples with the weight of his actions and the venom of his friends’ insults. As her birthday looms, her family rallies to shield her, but the scars of manipulation linger like shadows. This update unveils her journey to reclaim her life amidst a tempest of emotional turmoil.

For those who want to read the previous part: Update: am I wrong for breaking up with him without any warning?

Original post: Am I wrong that I broke up with him without warning?

‘update 2: Am I wrong for breaking up with my boyfriend?’

So it's been a long time. For people who don't want to read previous one long story short my bf cheated on me his friends gf, I left his home with a note that I'm breaking up with him. But according to him I didn't give him chance to explain himself. Then he stalked me n made everyone worse.

Lot of things have happened since then my ex didn't contact me for 6 days no calls, no message I really thought that he was finally gone. But on 1 Sept around 9pm I got call from one of our mutual friend saying that my ex tried to commit suicide. His friends were there they stopped it .

It was mess but he is fine now just hurt a little. I was scared n crying never thought he'll do something like that. When I was kid my neighbor had killed herself I didn't take it well. I was traumatized since then I'm very sensitive. I cried the whole night didn't sleep didn't eat.

Next the common friend she visited me after seeing him she told that he's okay. But he looks like he doesn't take care of himself. Also I was called whore, b**ch and many other names by his friends. She said I should go to see him. My sister disagreed with this as it will give him hope that I'll come back to him.

my sister she called my mom told her everything .They know how I take these things cuz after my father passed in 2021 I was depressed. I literally gave up didn't eat, was just sleeping not talking to anyone. It was very hard for me to leave it behind .I got my life back together after all that just for this to happen.

My mom said she will fly here as soon as she can. She came here in 3 days later with everything ready.she wanted me to go to Boston with her. So my uncle have a house in Boston .His gf was there. He bought it when they were together now they broken up the house is empty.He uses it whenever he goes to Boston.

He often says to all the relatives that if you wanna go there you can live in my house. He told her that we can go there for few days. Mom wanted me to take out of here. She was not wrong bcz my Birthday was in few days. I didn't wanted to go bcoz I have everything here but I guess it's time to move on.

So for my ex I left him voicemail and card I know it's stupid of me to do that but I can't leave like this .I'm in Boston right now with my mom. My sister didn't get leave so she gonna be there with her bf. I also feel sorry for all the trouble I caused them.

They are gonna come here as its my birthday tomorrow. I really don't know how to feel .I just want to be alone. But I can't say anything as I don't want to ruin or spoil anything. I have done enough.

I don't have job, lost my 4 yr relationship I have to start everything from the beginning now atleast my mom is here.Im not feeling good here but it's time to accept it and continue. Maybe things will get better I wish.

Betrayal is painful enough, but when an ex’s actions escalate to alleged suicide attempts, it’s like stepping into an emotional minefield. This woman’s relocation to Boston reflects a desperate bid for peace, yet Chris’s reported stunt and his friends’ vitriol keep her tethered to the drama. Let’s unpack this tangled mess with a touch of clarity and a nod to the absurdity of blaming the victim.

Her hesitation to visit Chris, despite pressure, highlights a critical tension: her instinct to protect herself versus his apparent manipulation. Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Manipulative behaviors, like using guilt or self-harm threats, aim to control rather than connect” (source: PsychAlive). Chris’s alleged attempt, paired with his friends’ attacks, suggests a calculated effort to reel her back, not genuine remorse.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: the use of extreme tactics to evade accountability in relationships. A 2023 study by the National Institute of Mental Health found that 25% of individuals in toxic relationships face coercive behaviors, including threats of self-harm (source: NIMH). Her move to Boston disrupts this cycle, prioritizing her mental health.

Experts advise cutting contact, blocking mutual connections, and seeking therapy to process trauma, especially given her history of depression. Documenting incidents can support legal protections if needed. Her story underscores the courage it takes to break free from manipulation and rebuild.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit community stood firmly in the woman’s corner, condemning Chris’s alleged suicide attempt as a manipulative ploy. They urged her to block all contact, including mutual friends, and seek therapy to heal from the emotional toll.

Many highlighted the absurdity of his friends’ insults, noting that his infidelity, not her departure, destroyed the relationship. The consensus was clear: she’s not responsible for his actions, and her fresh start in Boston is a step toward freedom.

sharksarenotreal − That's so awful, I'm sorry you've had to go through all that. You need to cut all contact. His actions are not your fault. He's being selfish, just like when he cheated you. If you keep contact going, he'll gaslight the f**k out of you. Block his friends, too, one by one.. Can you afford therapy? You should seek it out, it'll help.

[Reddit User] − Your ex is responsible for his own life. You can’t live his life for him and you’ll ruin your life trying.. Wishing you well. I‘m so glad you have such a supportive family to help you through this.

waxonwaxoff87 − Boyfriend cheats with another friend’s gf. The girl that got cheated on is called a whore. Yea these are all awful people. In all likelihood it was an attempt to guilt you back and the friends are in on it.

If you went to visit, they would all be there to pressure you. You are not wrong for breaking up with a cheater. You are not responsible for his infidelity or the stupid decisions he makes after leaving.

oneaftermagnacarte − i remember your first post and i am so sorry for the turn this took. as others have said you are NOT responsible in any way shape or form. HE chose to be unfaithful, HE chose to stalk you, HE chose to lie to your friend group and turn them against you, and HE chose to make that attempt.

you are so young, i know this is hard to see but use this as a learning experience. as your grieve your relationship, really think back on it. i honestly doubt this was his first time cheating, and definitely not his first time lying.

talk about it with your therapist and just take time for yourself before you get back into the dating scene. so glad your sister and her bf are so kickass and you are able to be in Boston. have a great birthday tomorrow, it's the first day of your new start!!

AlricaNeshama − STOP 👏 TALKING 👏 TO 👏 HIM👏

Hardt-No − You do realize he didn't want to die. He just wanted to hurt you and find a way to get any kind of response. Please understand that this was a manipulation, not a suicide attempt.

HyenaShot8896 − He made his choices, and you're making yours based on what's best for you. You did, and are still doing the right thing. Get into therapy, and move forward with your life.

[Reddit User] − Was your ex aware of your experience with your neighbor? That is the first thing that came to mind as a possible explanation as to why your ex

Grand_Chocolate_6863 − Don't feel bad about him trying to commit suicide he made the decision to cheat on you and what he does with his life after you've broken up with him is on him and him alone

Gator-bro − He did wrong and can’t and accept what he did was wrong. It was a mistake, NO he made a choice to f**k her. Now he’s done something else because he won’t accept his actions.

It’s not job to make him accept what he did and for him to look in the mirror. He is not your and you did not cause any of the issues. He did. Make sure you block him and all of his friends from our life

This gripping update reveals a young woman’s resilience as she escapes a cheating ex’s manipulative grasp, finding refuge in Boston with her family’s support. Her story is a stark reminder that accountability, not guilt, should guide relationships.

It challenges us to reflect on the strength required to break free from toxic ties and start anew. How would you navigate the blurred lines of manipulation and self-preservation? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this conversation going!

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