Update – My friend told me she loves me 4 weeks before her marriage?

Jonathan Hours
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A month ago, a widower shared a wrenching dilemma: his lifelong friend Brie confessed her love just weeks before her wedding, leaving him torn over whether to tell her fiancé. Now, the situation has spiraled into chaos. After Brie ended her engagement, citing feelings for him, her fiancé’s violent reaction forced the man to open his home to her for safety. With Brie now living with him and his young daughter, he’s navigating guilt, friendship, and mounting concerns about boundaries.

This Reddit update pulls readers into a tangled web of loyalty, heartbreak, and unintended fallout. The man’s choice to shelter Brie has drawn sharp criticism, especially with his daughter in the mix. Is he wrong for prioritizing her safety over clearer boundaries, or is he caught in a no-win situation? The story’s emotional depth keeps readers hooked, eager to debate the next steps.

A month ago, I (35M) wrote a post regarding my friend Brie (35F) telling me that she loved me, only 4 weeks before her wedding. The last month has been crazy, and my whole world has turned upside down.

For those who want to read the previous part: AIW – My friend told me she loves me 4 weeks before her marriage?

‘Update – My friend told me she loves me 4 weeks before her marriage?’

Again for context, I lost my wife 2 years ago and we have a 5-year old daughter. Brie and her fiancé Jason (\~33M) moved to our town a year ago, and we have reconnected as friends and they have done a lot to cheer me up during this year, and bring my life to normalcy. After Bree told me that she loved me, I told her that I was still not ready to move on as I still miss my wife.

She said she understood, and I did not hear from her or Jason for a few days. The guilt was killing me, as I was not sure if I should tell Jason about what she told me. Thanks to everyone who commented on the post, it helped me think the situation through. I finally called B after a few days and asked her to meet me for lunch.

I talked to her and asked her if she was going ahead with her wedding. She broke down and told me she was not sure. I told her that she should at least talk to Jason regarding her feelings and not be dishonest with him. I also assured her that I would not say anything to J, but I just wanted her to be happy. She said she understood and left.

That night I put my daughter to sleep and was watching TV. Around 9.30 pm, I heard a loud knock on my door, and it was Jason. I opened the door, and he was in tears. He started yelling at me and asking me why I had to steal Brie out of all the people. I tried to calm him down, but he just kept on shouting. I was trying to get him to sit down on the bench on our porch.

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I told him my daughter was sleeping upstairs, but he slowly was getting more and more physical. He punched me in the face, and I was able to push him off. I told him to get out of my house, and he sat in his truck and drove away. I immediately called Brie, and she was crying and did not sound well on the phone. She told Jason that she could not marry him, because she had feelings for me.

I was really scared for her, after the physical altercation with Jason, and told her to gather some clothes and get out of the house. She did that and came to my place. I just didn't feel she was safe with Jason. I consoled her for almost 2 hours and was able to get her to sleep. The next morning, we had to call her parents to let them know about what had happened.

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Brie kept a brave face, but I could see how much she was hurting. Her parents asked her to take a few days off, and immediately come back home, and she did take a flight in the evening to go home. Over the next two weeks, the wedding was called off. Brie and I were talking every day and she was just very exhausted.

She talked to Jason a few times and kept on asking her to take more time to think. However, I think Brie just wanted to get out of it and decided to just break it off with Jason. Currently, Brie is staying with us for the last two weeks. She still has a job here and started going back to work last week. I have talked to Brie in detail about what happened.

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Brie told me that Jason and her were dating on and off for the last 4 years. Jason is not very career-oriented, and Brie is very good at her job. She felt he was a nice and reliable person, but was unsure about him from the start. She felt that she was not getting any younger, and hence they decided to get married.

When she heard about my wife passing away, she just felt really bad and wanted to be around me to comfort me. When she got her big promotion, which meant she could work in a corporate office, she immediately chose my city and moved here. Jason also moved here and got a new job. She never had any romantic feelings for me back then.

As she started hanging out with my daughter and me, she started feeling the bond we shared when we were growing up. Except, I was the broken one and she was taking care of me. She said that she realized that she was enjoying her time with us, more than with Jason. She realized she made a mistake with Jason, and what she wanted was right in front of her.

Hence, she slowly started thinking about me in that way and finally told me about it. She knew her relationship with Jason was over the moment she confessed to me. It's a s**tty situation, but I am glad that she realized that before getting married vs. after. As for Jason, I feel bad for him. He is moving back to our hometown closer to his family.

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He is currently in their apartment and will move sometime next month. I know a lot of you would be curious if we were dating. We are not dating. I don't think I can date anyone right now and neither should Brie.

She is my friend, and I am happy that she is staying with us, and plans to be here until everything is sorted out. My daughter loves having Auntie Brie around too, so that's a bonus. Plus, it's really nice to see her slowly get back to normal.. Thanks again for helping me during my last post. Cheers.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

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Brie’s decision to confess her love, then name the man during her breakup, has ignited a firestorm, pulling him into her relational wreckage. His choice to house her after Jason’s assault was compassionate but risky, especially with his daughter at home. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Clear boundaries in friendships are essential to prevent emotional entanglement, particularly when children are involved”. Brie’s presence, given her unreciprocated feelings, muddies the waters.

The man’s grief and focus on his daughter make his hesitation to date understandable, but housing Brie sends mixed signals. A 2019 study in Family Relations found that blurred boundaries in post-breakup friendships often lead to emotional distress for all parties. Brie’s history of serial dating suggests she may be seeking stability in him, not just love, which complicates her motives.

Gottman advises setting firm limits: “He should encourage Brie to find her own space and seek therapy to process her breakup.” For his daughter’s sake, he must prioritize stability, ensuring Brie’s role remains as a friend, not a pseudo-parent. He could suggest a timeline for her to move out, balancing kindness with clarity. Readers, how would you navigate this messy fallout?

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s not holding back on this drama-filled update, serving up advice with a hefty dose of skepticism. Here’s the raw scoop from the community, dripping with concern and shade.

Hour_Ad5972 − I’m happy to hear you’re healing. If I’m being honest I have zero idea why Brie would:. a) confess her feeling to you *before* breaking up with her fiancé b) bring you up during the break up talk with Jason. That seems like an unbelievably asinine thing to do. Of course it would make Jason come after you.

She’s dragging you through the mud of *her* breakup for NO reason. And you don’t need this drama in your or your daughters life. As a parent I would be incredibly mad at Brie for putting me in that situation where there is an angry violent ex-fiancé in the same house as my sleeping three year old. For me that would be unacceptable.

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What if Jason had hurt you worse than a punch and your three year old had heard or witnessed it, or god forbid come in the way? Brie sounds like either a s**t-stirrer who knowingly attracts drama, or someone immature who makes bad decisions and is not very considerate. Either way I would be careful letting her into your life like this. You have a kid to think about.

It also sounds like Brie has a history of jumping from relationship to relationship (you said she’d not been single since middle school). It sounds like she realised Jason was not the one and needed to replace him immediately and you fit the bill. I’m not even really sure she likes you as much as she thinks she does. Brie should try to stay single for a bit but i suspect she will either try to get in a relationship with you, and failing that, find someone else asap.

Puzzleheaded2468 − I don't think it's a great idea to be playing happy families with a woman who has confessed to being in love with you. Especially as you have no intention of starting a romantic relationship with her.. I don't think it will end well for either of you.

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KobilD − She could have kept your name out if it

SnooWords4839 − Please don't date her. She needs therapy and to be single for a long time.. She may have codependent issues, so keep space. She confessed to you, before breaking up, shows she isn't ready for being single, you need to start telling her it's time for her to get her own place, before she is your child's new mommy. Be warned.. Friends are fine but keep your eyes open.

[Reddit User] − If neither of you are ready to date (I agree) then why would you move a woman who claims to be in love with you into your house with your daughter who is likely to get even more attached to a woman living with you? And why tf would you tell her to stay with you and your child hours after her ex assaulted you?

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You didn't know if he was going to find out she was there and show up thinking you two were getting together immediately and going crazy. Like why put your daughter at risk, she could have stayed in a hotel. For all of your sake, she needs to move out immediately, like yesterday before you get involved prematurely and ruin everything long term

krissycole87 − Not healthy for either one of you having her live there.. 1. She has feelings for you, which you arent reciprocating. 2. She wants a relationship (even if shes not ready for one right now, and shouldnt jump into one this quickly, she very obviously feels down the line this is all leading up to you guys eventually in a relationship) and you dont. You stated clearly in your last post that she is just a friend. It is very obvious you are more to her, so this is very fucked up what youre doing.

3. She is not going to be able to move on from what happened with Jason and clear her head while she is living with you, neither of you will. Having her come immediately to your house to console her after her fight with Jason was probably the worst thing to do, You are displaying yourself to her as someone who has feelings for her.

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You guys are f**king with not only each others heads, but also your daughters.  How long and how attached to her are you going to let your daughter get before this all explodes and Brie pushes for a relationship and you say no and your daugher never sees this woman again?

Why are you letting this girl play wife at your house, knowing FULL WELL she has feelings for you that you arent returning? Best thing to do for this girl is leave her the f**k alone and give each other some space. This was not the way to handle this, at all. And continues to not be the way to handle it.

[Reddit User] − So you moved in a woman who is in love with you and you have no intention on dating? What happens when your daughter starts seeing her as a mother figure? Plus now it looks like you guys were having an affair the whole time. 

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Satori2155 − Also stop being an i**ot and focus on your child. Brie should not be staying with you because A shes in love with you but you arent in love with her and B you have a young daughter who in time will start to see “auntie brie” as a mother figure. Get your head out of your ass

Expression-Little − Dude, be super careful here. Especially with your daughter around. It's

Last_nerve_3802 − Jeesus you i**ot. So the b**ch has caused all this trouble and now you have her in your house?. Do you not see how manipulative this is? You have deliberately brought all of this drama into your childs home. Why is this woman a priority over your child? This is an excellent way of showing Brie that she can have what she wants and an even better way of teaching your daughter terrible life lessons.. SERIOUSLY. How long until it

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These Redditors are slicing through the chaos with sharp takes, but are they seeing the full picture or just fueling the fire? One thing’s clear: this update’s got everyone buzzing with opinions.

This Reddit update spins a tale of good intentions gone awry, with a widower caught in the crossfire of his friend’s broken engagement. Housing Brie was meant to keep her safe, but it’s raised red flags about boundaries and his daughter’s emotional security. Is he wrong for letting her stay, or is he doing his best in a messy situation? What would you do if a friend’s drama landed on your doorstep, kid in tow? Drop your thoughts below—let’s unpack this emotional rollercoaster!

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