My Boyfriend or the cats?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A late-night argument over cat vomit turned a woman’s world upside down, unraveling a seven-year relationship and setting her on a path to rediscovery. Her boyfriend’s sudden demand to ditch her beloved cats—her family in a child-free life—clashed with her fierce loyalty to them, especially one needing special care. The mess on his clothes, left carelessly on the floor, became the final straw in a brewing storm of resentment.

Her cozy home, once shared with three furry companions and a partner, became a battleground of values. His temper and hidden disdain for her strength surfaced, pushing her to choose: cats or him. Spoiler—she picked the cats, and it changed everything. As we dive into this Reddit tale from r/amiwrong, we explore love, loyalty, and the courage to start anew.

‘My Boyfriend or the cats?’

So my boyfriend, who didn't have much interaction with cats prior to living together, declared last night that he wanted at least one of the cats gone. We have been living together with these cats for at least 5 years with all of them.

I pay for all of the cats' care. One of our cats has kidney disease and requires special meals with medications and IV fluids every other day. He had loved all the cats until very recently when we had a string of finding puke everywhere.

But it came to a head when someone puked on his clothes as they were on the floor while he was sleeping. He didn't notice the puke on his clothes until after he put the clothes back on. He usually calms down from his temper between 1 to 5 hours after an incident.

But he hasn't calmed down, and he didn't like it when I didn't agree to give up one or all of the cats. I can't be 100% sure which cat it was, but I'm think I know who did the one on his clothes. I caught her hiding after he lost his temper.

So, I scheduled an appointment to take her to the vet tomorrow. It doesn't seem to pacify him with that. Im worried. Im going to lose my almost 7-year relationship over my cats. I don't have children, and I am 99% likely not to have kids in the future.

****Update: My boyfriend and I are broken up. He finally opened up about all his issues with me. Apparently, Im not feminine enough, too feminist and too much of a girl boss. Sadly, he didn't see it in the beginning despite the fact that we met at military functions, and I had always been a leader. He was also never truly happy for me when I had success.

After a lot of talking, I realized he put me on a pedestal for most of the time we knew each other. Thankfully, I own the house we live in so he has to find his own home. Also, I have 3 cats. At one point, he wanted more, but I squashed that because I financially supported all three. If he wanted another, I told him he would have to support it. And he never got a new one.

****Update: it has been 7 months, and I have already sold the house and will close next week! Thank god my ex never put a ring on it because I will make decent money off the sale, and I don't have to split it with him. I am moving to a town where my family is and the cost of living is much cheaper.

With the leftover money, I'll take myself on a bucket list trip to Japan for Star Wars Celebration. By some crazy fate, I found a new boyfriend who is amazing, and I am so grateful for him. He is everything I have ever wanted from a partner.

A woman’s decision to prioritize her cats over her boyfriend’s demand to remove them reflects a stand for personal values and emotional boundaries. His temper, triggered by a manageable issue like pet vomiting, and his later criticisms of her independence reveal a deeper incompatibility. Her loyalty to her pets, especially one with kidney disease, underscores their role as family, particularly in her child-free life.

Pet-related conflicts can end relationships: a 2023 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study found 25% of couples face significant disputes over pets, often tied to differing values. Relationship therapist Dr. Esther Perel notes, “Ultimatums over loved ones, like pets, signal control issues, not partnership”.

She was right to end the relationship, sell her home, and move forward. Therapy could help process the breakup, while her new supportive partner suggests a healthier future. Her choice honored her priorities—pets are family, not bargaining chips.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit roared in support of the woman, unanimously declaring her NTA for choosing her cats over her boyfriend’s tantrum. They blasted him as a “slob” for leaving clothes on the floor and a “jerk” for his temper, warning his demands could escalate to abandoning her if she fell ill.

Commenters praised her for standing by her pets, especially the sick one, and cheered her breakup, house sale, and new romance, urging her to keep the cats and ditch toxic partners.

HallPsychological538 − Your boyfriend regularly has “incidents” that take 1-5 hours to calm down from?

sunnyskybaby − You don’t just get rid of animals because someone doesn’t like living with them. You made the commitment to the animals. you are all they’ve known for at least the past five years. how likely is your relationship to actually get better if they’re gone?

I would be repulsed by someone immediately if they tried to make me get rid of my cats. I’m not really a dog person. Not having kids. Am engaged. Our cats are family and lifelong commitments.

Houdini1874 − sorry its the BF that has to go you cant keep him its hard i know but you should be able to find him a new home

Ranos131 − So he leaves clothes that he is going to wear on the floor and is mad that a cat threw up on them? That’s his fault. Not the cats. He’s an adult. He should learn to keep his clothes off the floor.

If you get rid of one cat now then he’ll demand you get rid of another cat next year. And then another one after that. And what happens when you get sick and need care. Will he want to get rid of you too?

RhiaMaykes − Choose the cats

Taycotar − I have been with my partner for 10 years and we have a wonderful relationship, but if he asked me to get rid of one of my cats I would leave him tomorrow. I would also leave him if he screamed at me for a cat throwing up on his clothes that HE LEFT ON THE FLOOR. What a jerk.

pdperson − So he's a slob with a bad temper? Thank the cat for helping get rid of him.

gemitch4119 − Sounds like the boyfriend needs to go.

Kurdle − Uhh don't entertain this at all. Completely unacceptable to ask a partner to get rid of a pet for something so petty.. I worry he will take a cat to the shelter behind your back.

Such-Comparison2305 − Definitely get rid of the boyfriend. What a Jerk!

This wasn’t just about cat puke—it was about a woman reclaiming her life from a partner’s controlling demands. Choosing her cats over a boyfriend who resented her strength, she sold her home, found a cheaper town, and met a dream partner who loves her for her.

Her journey, sparked by furry loyalty, reminds us that true love—human or pet—lifts you up, not tears you down. Ever had to choose between a pet and a partner? Share your story—how do you stand by what matters?

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