Am I (25M) wrong for not thinking I cheated when my girlfriend (24F) thinks I did?

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A cozy night scrolling TikTok turns sour when a suggestive video flashes across his screen, sparking a firestorm with his girlfriend. After 1.5 years of harmony, she accuses him of emotionally cheating, pointing to his Instagram’s explore page brimming with scantily clad influencers.

He insists it’s just algorithms, not intent, but her bags are packed. Readers feel the tension, drawn into a modern love story tangled in trust and tech, echoing dilemmas like.

‘Am I (25M) wrong for not thinking I cheated when my girlfriend (24F) thinks I did?’

For context: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 1.5 years and have argued with each other maybe about 3 times, so we generally get along very well. We also both got cheated on in our past relationship so we made it very clear that we would be honest, open and as transparent as we can while communicating; which we were very good at and never ran into an issue with..

So what happened: We were in bed watching tiktoks together on my phone. We probably scrolled past a hundred videos before we got to a

I tried to talk to her and give her reassurance that it's just algorithm based and probably showed up on my

Then after some processing, she wanted to see my Instagram app so I opened it up and showed her, because I had nothing to hide. She went to the explore page and it was just loaded with pictures of half dressed girls and maybe one or two of my other personal interests.

This shocked both of us and she immediately started packing her things and wanted to leave. She claimed that I am emotionally cheating because she believes that those showed up because I am clicking on those types of photos/videos, checking the profiles out, and/or liking them.

I immediately explained to her that I have no idea why they would all be there, I don't even browse the explore page on instagram nor do I even check the app that frequently. I spend about 20 minutes a day on instagram just looking at my friends' stories/posts once or twice a day and thats about it.

I realized as I was trying to explain it to her, that she was taking everything I was saying as a load of BS, which is understandable. She said I emotionally cheated on her and now I have been ignored for the past two days and I am supposed to go to her house and talk to her tonight.

I, on the other hand, do not think I emotionally cheated because I wasn't even looking at them in the first place, nor was I ever emotionally driven (?) to look at that type of content. And even if I was looking at it, why would I be emotionally invested in a random Instagram influencer hundreds or thousands of miles away with hundreds of thousands of followers?

So in summary: She thinks I emotionally cheated on her for having l**d content of other girls on my

UPDATE: First of all, thank you for all the comments! It really helped provide me with outside perspective because I HATE spilling personal relationship details/troubles with anyone I know. I mentioned a couple good points mentioned here and here is how it went: Went and talked to her, she did admit that she may have blown it out of proportion.

But she was still upset about it, she said that, to her, using the explore page to look at girls was the same as being on a dating app and looking at girls - I immediately shut it down and called her out for being crazy for thinking that. She said that she knows it's not the same but her mind keeps framing it like it is because I am giving those instagram girls my attention, as if I am interested in them.

Her stance on the matter didn't change much, but she did soften up after I explained that it really is not that deep. She is still upset, and I compromised with her by saying that I will be more diligent about clearing out my feeds from that type of content. We ended up

Her accusation of emotional cheating feels like a swipe at a ghost—real pain, wrong target. A single thirst trap on TikTok and a curated Instagram explore page aren’t evidence of betrayal, but her insecurity, rooted in past cheating traumas, turned them into exhibits A and B. He’s left defending his digital footprint. Let’s unpack this with expert clarity.

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, says, “Social media can amplify insecurities, turning neutral actions into perceived threats when trust is fragile.” Her reaction—equating algorithm-driven content to dating app swiping—stems from fear, not fact. His minimal Instagram use (20 minutes daily, mostly friends’ stories) clashes with her belief he’s actively seeking suggestive posts. A 2023 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study found 52% of couples argue over social media content, often misinterpreting algorithmic suggestions as intentional engagement.

This highlights a broader issue: tech’s role in modern jealousy. Algorithms prioritize attention-grabbing content, not user fidelity, yet partners often misread them. His compromise to clear his feeds is a step, but Dr. Solomon suggests deeper work: discuss boundaries, like muting suggestive accounts together, and explore her triggers empathetically.

Advice: Communicate, don’t accuse. He should affirm her feelings while clarifying his innocence, perhaps showing his app activity logs. Couples counseling could help unpack their shared cheating history.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew unloaded with a mix of eye-rolls and tough love, like a group chat roasting a bad plot twist. Here’s what they tossed out:

thebabes2 − Reasonable partners have discussions about boundaries and expectations in a relationship. They don't make wild accusations and throw tantrums. You didn't cheat. You weren't engaging in contact or relationships with anyone, you just got pegged by the algorithm and it fed you content.

I'm a 41 year old woman, I don't use social media much but I turned on my IG one day and it was FILLED with really random, strange

Dark-Haven-Witch − This is what you do—tonight, when you go over, check HER Instagram. Ask for her phone and see what she does.

OldKing7199 − Yes those instagram algorithms are insane. I never use insta unless my mother sends me something funny or whatever weird/funny/craft video she sends with a horrible voice over and gets me to like it. When I press back, what do I see? Soft core porn all over my insta. Always happens, maybe it the default?. Luckily my spouse would never think I'm cheating based on insta algorithms...

tensinahnd − I scrolled back up expecting to see teenagers age. 24 is too old to be acting like this. Run away.

Apprehensive_Pea7911 − She's cheating bro. She's just projecting.

The_AmyrlinSeat − Noooo and she's insane. This is your out, take it.

Unusual_Focus1905 − You didn't cheat, not even emotionally. She's being unreasonable and frankly, ridiculous. In a healthy relationship, you talk things out. This almost seems manipulative to me.

Interesting_Sock9142 − ......I find it hard to believe that you've only ever fought 3 times in the year and a half you've been together when:. -she thinks looking at pictures of other girls is cheating. -you didn't know that she believes this is cheating. -she is SO INCREDIBLY insecure, that she broke up with you over the RANDOMLY DETERMINED (AS IN: RANDOMLY BY THE APP) content on your discover page.. Jesus.

kkuhn130 − Was the last argument because she had a dream that you cheated in?

[Reddit User] − Anyone the algorithm pegs as male is going to get those videos. I've talked to multiple men about it. For a while it'll be Harleys and fishing, then all of a sudden...BOOBS!! Just titties every which where. I know one man who regularly clears his youtube history so his shorts goes back to Harleys and fishing...

These takes slam her drama but spark debate: is her insecurity valid, or is she projecting?

His fight over social media reveals how quickly tech can twist trust, turning algorithms into relationship landmines. Their partial resolution leaves room for healing, but her lingering doubts linger. Have you ever clashed with a partner over online content? How did you navigate it? Drop your stories below and let’s unravel the messy mix of love, jealousy, and the internet’s wild whims.

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