AITA For Moving Out When My Boyfriend Ignored My Plea?

A 39-year-old woman’s Sunday morning took a sharp turn when her car broke down in a store parking lot, just 10 minutes from home. Expecting her boyfriend of four years to rush to her side, she was stunned when he told her to “put your hood up and wait for someone to help” while he stayed in bed. With a history of his cheating and her covering most of their expenses, this moment felt like the final straw. Now, she’s eyeing a new apartment and a fresh start.

Her Reddit post lays bare the sting of being let down by the one she trusted most. As she plans her exit, the story sparks debates about loyalty, partnership, and when to walk away. With her dog and dignity in tow, she’s asking: is she wrong to leave a man who left her stranded?

‘AITA For Moving Out When My Boyfriend Ignored My Plea?’

I’ve (F39) have been with my BF (M38) for 4 years now. We live together and have a dog. He has a history of cheating, but it was back when we first got together, and we seem to be pretty good for the last 2+ years. I work full time and make the lions share of our income. He’s a musician and also has a seasonal job from March-September.

We pay the bills equally for the most part. There’s probably around 2-3 months out of the year that I’ll pay more than half. Anything extra I pay for, though. Dog grooming, nights out? That’s all me bc I make considerably more money than him and I don’t even care about that bc I think of it as our money and I like that he’s home a lot to take care of the dog.

It saves on dog daycare and I don’t like leaving the dog by itself anyway. Recently I’ve been working 6 days a week, so on my only day off I get up early and get the weekly shopping out of the way. This past Sunday I woke up around 7 and took the dog for a walk, fed her and decided to go to the store. My BF was still sleeping and I didn’t bother him.

After I got done shopping I realized that my car wouldn’t start. This was at 9:50am. I called my boyfriend 4 times before he answered and told him I was stuck at the store with a broken down car. His response? “Put your hood up and wait for someone to help you”. The store I was stuck at is 10 mins from our house.

My BF has a working car and hadn’t worked all week. I add that bc I don’t want anyone to think he was at work or even tired from maybe working all night the night before. I thought he was joking. I laughed and said “okay!! Haha”. He was serious. He told me to put my hood up and wait for someone to ask if I needed help. I just sat there for a few minutes in disbelief.

I’ve seen this man go out of his way to help other people, but he’s telling me to beg for help in a parking lot when he’s at home doing nothing else. I called him back and asked if he was coming to help me. He told me that he’s wasn’t driving all the way over there to help me when I could put the hood up and someone else would help me.

I ended up calling a tow truck and the tow truck driver took my car to a shop and gave me a ride home. I got home around 1pm. Three hours after I called him for help and he was still in bed. So, I’m going to look at a new place tomorrow and hopefully I’ll be out by the end of the month.  I’m not fighting with him, I’m not doing anything besides getting away from him and asking him to leave me alone. Am I wrong?

Relationships thrive on mutual support, but this boyfriend’s refusal to help in a crisis signals a deeper disconnect. His dismissal—suggesting she rely on strangers while he stayed in bed—shows a lack of care that stings worse given his past infidelity. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Small moments of attentiveness build trust; neglect in key moments erodes it.” This incident, paired with her financial burden, highlights an imbalanced partnership.

This reflects a broader issue: emotional and practical inequity in relationships. A 2022 study by the Pew Research Center found 45% of women in heterosexual relationships feel they contribute more financially or emotionally, often leading to resentment. Her boyfriend’s history of cheating and current inaction suggest a pattern of prioritizing himself.

Dr. Gottman advises couples to address breaches through honest dialogue, but her decision to leave may be healthier. She could secure her finances and consult a therapist to process the betrayal. Her move to a new place is a step toward reclaiming her worth. Readers, how do you decide when a relationship’s cons outweigh its pros?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crowd roared with support, serving up takes as fiery as a tow truck’s engine. Here’s a snapshot of the top comments that fueled the thread:

Fairmount1955 − Not wrong at all.

The cheating was an indicator and pls never over look that again because it was an important signal that also showed who he was.. Leaving and just being done is smart. Don't fight, not worth it.

[Reddit User] − Girl, your boyfriend suuuuucks. You are not wrong but you need to get away from this soul sucking loser. He is not a good man. And you deserve better.

Training_Package6761 − Between the cheating, not being the breadwinner, and positively abandoning you in a time of need, people will only be wondering why you didn't leave sooner. You haven't mentioned how much home and pet care he handles, but he surely doesn't care about you working 6 days a week. Being single sounds preferable.

Elena_La_Loca − So… when you are leaving for this new place you are lining up for yourself (good girl!!!!)… I fully expect him to suddenly be all remorseful and crying and begging for you to stay. Just reply “well, just put your hood up and maybe someone will stop to help you” and walk out the door.

OhioMegi − Get rid of this d**che bag asap. That’s unacceptable behavior. A man I was casually seeing drove 2 hours to another STATE to help me when a tire blew. And refused to take any gas money.. Your guy is not worth your time.

leolawilliams5859 − You are not wrong you are so right in what you are about to do. Please let this apartment be a good fit for you so you can get the f*** away from that loser. Because when he pulls his head out of his ass and realize that you really are getting ready to leave him.

He's going to apologize profusely and try to get you to stay but just know he's only doing it because he know he cannot stay in that apartment without you. Leave he has shown you who he is please believe him. 10 minutes away put your hood up and let somebody else help. In this day and age is dangerous for a woman to accept help from just some random. I hope everything works out for you

CooSoo − Girl, we will be needing an update. I’m getting the popcorn ready.

ThatguyIncognito − He was TA and you are probably right to consider this the last straw. If the relationship was otherwise fine, this alone would probably not be sufficient reason to leave him. But he'd cheated on you and thus was on double non-secret probation. Instead of taking this opportunity to show that he really does care for you and he's serious about making the relationship work, he acted in an incredibly self absorbed way.

Maybe he was overly tired and made a mistake only a mostly still asleep person would have made. But by the time he'd had several more hours of sleep, he should have been deeply apologetic. But he wasn't. This indicates that your convenience and your safety mattered less to him than lounging under the covers.

A woman has to be concerned that a damsel in distress whose car isn't working might attract some very dangerous types. Her BF should have been equally worried. He wasn't. Only you can weigh all the pros and cons of the whole relationship. You have time to think about it. But if you decide in the end that this is a representation of how little concern he has for you, enjoy your new apartment and your search for a better guy.

bunnyhunny83 − Wow. I got into a car wreck just outside my neighborhood in March, and my husband was halfway to Louisiana for a work trip. I called/texted him, and my parents, and I ended up with husband, parents, sister, & Brother in law at my house within an hour of the accident…

If I had that problem and I called my husband and he was in town I know he would leave work as soon as possible and come help me. It’s crazy to me that he would say that to you but be willing to help others.. Good for you on leaving him. Hope that place your looking at will be a good fit 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

ShyexGI − NTA, absolutely not. WTF?? What person who supposedly loves you wouldn't panic, tell you to lock the doors and drive like hell to get to you? Apparently, it's not your soon to be ex. Sis, I'm pissed off for you! This planet is full of mentally ill people, and his response is to put the hood up! Wow! The one good thing is he showed you who he is, and you believed him! Kudos to you.

Let us know when you move into your new place. Take the time to plan everything out (have an exit plan) so that when it's time, you can move out quickly and cut ties immediately. Don't let him know your plans. Just go. After all, he's

These Reddit zingers mix outrage with encouragement, but do they capture the full weight of her choice? One thing’s clear: the crowd’s cheering her toward the exit.

This woman’s car trouble exposed a broken relationship, revealing a boyfriend who’d rather sleep than support her. His refusal to help, against a backdrop of cheating and her financial load, pushed her to seek a new home—and a new life. Her story challenges us to ask: when does neglect become a dealbreaker? If you were stranded by a partner, would you stay or go? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack what it means to choose yourself.

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