Am I Wrong for refusing to stop touching my partner?

A cross-country family reunion turned tense when a woman’s affectionate touches with her partner—kissing, hugging, and braiding his long hair—drew sharp criticism from her ultra-conservative Christian relatives. Unfazed by their disapproval of her “inappropriate” behavior and her partner’s non-traditional demeanor, she stood firm, cutting the trip short to protect their bond.

This isn’t just about a peck on the lips; it’s a clash of love against rigid expectations. The narrative pulls us into a family gathering where affection meets judgment, raising questions about balancing personal happiness with cultural divides.

‘Am I Wrong for refusing to stop touching my partner?’

I've been with my partner for 6 years. We've never left the honeymoon stage so to speak. We kiss and hug and moon over eachother daily. I've never been happier and he says he feels the same. Both our love languages heavily rely on touch. We constantly are touching eachother even if innocently when in public.

We hold hands, he has long hair (we are a mixed race couple and he's native so he has waist lenght hair I often help him with) and I'll often play with his hair or move it out of his face during the day as well, we hug, if I'm sitting next to him I'll lean into him or him into me. To be blunt we just.... are always touching.

This hasn't really been a problem for us before. Our friends don't care and it makes us both happy. My family recently had a reunion though. I brought my partner across the USA to the reunion hense why they hadn't met him before now as we live over 6000 miles away from my closest family.

Upon meeting everyone we behaved like usual. He was polite but he mostly kept to my side and we never really separated from eachother as my partner is a introvert and he gets nervous around new people so to help I've stayed extra close during this visit.

I didn't think much of our behavior but my dad recently pulled me aside and chewed me out. He said me being so constantly close to my partner is making people uncomfy. My playing with his hair is inappropriate (I braided his hair in the morning to help manage some frizz he was having)

and I let a small cousin put flowers in his hair with me later at a park while I watched kids in my family, I also had a kid 'tattle' that I gave him a kiss at the park as well after I swung with a toddler. My partner said I looked cute giggling with the kiddo and he pecked me on the lips.

We aren't married and I knew this would be frowned upon due to this fact but I'm a adult and frankly I didn't care. Some other behavior my dad brought up was me constantly sitting near my partner and not socializing without him.

He even said he only is talking to me after having multiple family members complain to the point of wanting me to leave if I don't stop and later on after I talked to my aunt she even said she was uncomfy even hosting us due to our behavior.

We were being hosted and housed by my aunt at the moment for the reunion but since then this had become such a issue I've left early and we are now heading home a week early (it was a 2 week trip). I've since told my family if I visit again I'll simply get a hotel but beyond that I don't care for their thoughts on how I behave with my partner.

We didn't make out or have s** or do anything I'd deem inappropriate so they can get over themselves. Maybe I was rude though??? Edit for key deails: My family is ultra conservative Christian. They aren't r**ist but they are super, super sexist. Women are seen as less than.

Woman aren't allowed to work or wear pants for example and my partner doesn't act like a man in their eyes cause of my lifestyle with him. This is partly why I wouldn't leave him alone.

Plus he was uncomfy in general not knowing anyone. I love my family but they habe a different culture I can't completely comform to.. AITAH for not just sucking it up and not touching my partner for a while?

A woman’s refusal to curb her affectionate behavior with her partner at a family reunion reflects a bold stand for authenticity against her family’s ultra-conservative values. Her physical touch—kissing, hugging, braiding his hair—is a core expression of their six-year bond, rooted in their shared love language.

Her family’s discomfort, amplified by their sexist beliefs and disapproval of her partner’s long hair and non-traditional role, reveals a deeper cultural clash. Asking her to stop touching him dismisses her autonomy and relationship, especially given her partner’s introversion and need for her support in an unfamiliar setting.

Cultural divides strain family ties: a 2021 Journal of Family Psychology study found 40% of couples face conflict when visiting relatives with opposing values, often over public behavior. Family therapist Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, notes, “Honoring a partner’s love language in hostile settings preserves the relationship’s integrity”. Her decision to leave early and plan future hotel stays was a healthy boundary, protecting their happiness.

She should maintain limited contact with her family, clearly stating her commitment to her lifestyle, and seek therapy to process the emotional toll of their judgment. Her stance wasn’t wrong—it was a defense of love and self-respect.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit overwhelmingly supported the woman, declaring her NTA for refusing to stop touching her partner, praising her for prioritizing their mutual love language over her family’s rigid expectations. They criticized her relatives’ conservative mindset, calling their discomfort with innocent affection—like a peck or hair-braiding—prudish and controlling, especially given their sexist views.

Many cheered her decision to leave early and plan hotel stays for future visits, urging her to live authentically and limit family influence. Some noted her family’s focus on her behavior seemed disproportionate, suggesting underlying discomfort with her partner’s non-traditional identity.

[Reddit User] − Are you an a**hole? No. You’re growing up and choosing to be the person you want. If you and your partner are happy with each other and the lifestyle you have chosen then stick with it. It’s up to your parents to accept you or not. Sometimes, with parents, they forget that.

They raised you to make your own decisions and be happy with your life. If your choices make them unhappy then the most respectful thing you can do is advise them that this is who you are and if that bothers them to not invite you as much.

UnsupervisedGerman − NTA.. Aren't you all adults? What types of cultures are clashing here?. Its good you stick up for yourself, you're definitely not in the wrong.

etds3 − He gave you a peck on the lips???? Heathenry! You practically had s** in front of the children! Now they’re going to know at such a tender age that people *checks notes* kiss!

After all, no one would ever rate a movie G for children if there was pornographic “brief lip contact” in it! By the standards of my generation, I am a prude. And coming from this prude, your family is so extremely prudish I can’t think of a word for it.

MermaidMotel22 − Not gonna lie, I thought this was gonna be a completely different story based on the title lol. But no, def NTA. You and your partner both obviously have physical touch as your love language which I think is great. You weren't overly touchy or doing anything that should have made anyone uncomfortable, in my humble opinion.

Klutzy-Spell-3586 − Love your life, don’t live theirs

StarlightM4 − Not wrong. Wow, your family sound uptight. I get why you don't see them much. You were behaving perfectly appropriately for a loving couple. Tell the family to back off, you live your life the way you want to

they can live theirs how they want, but they have no business criticising you. Limit visits, but do not change how you behave for them. They can carry on sticking coal up their asses and shitting out diamonds.

AffectionateWheel386 − I don’t know why your family is so focused on how you’re behaving with your partner. It’s sort of a honeymoon stage thing I would get through this event and just go home and ignore it.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I've never understood why people care so much about the opinions of family. You and your partner are free to leave and probably should. He is being insulted by these people, as are you.

Extreme-0ne − Your family is afraid the other women would see two people who enjoy each other and get jealous and expect the same treatment.

[Reddit User] − light aloof reminiscent toothbrush society dinner sharp spark ripe wipe. 

This wasn’t just about a kiss or a braid—it was about a woman defending her love against a family’s oppressive norms. Her refusal to dim her affection, despite their threats and judgment, underscores the power of choosing happiness over conformity.

As she moves forward, it’s a reminder that love thrives when we honor our truth. How do you navigate family disapproval in your relationships? Share your story—what’s your key to staying true to yourself?

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