Update: Am I wrong for no longer cooking for wife after she drunkenly admitted she wished her male co worker could cook for her instead?

In a dimly lit kitchen, a husband once hung up his apron after his wife’s drunken quip about preferring a co-worker’s cooking. Two years later, spurred by Reddit’s blunt advice, he’s ready to fire up the stove for her again, planning a romantic Lemon Butter Lobster Risotto. But a pointed analogy about favoring another woman’s hugs reopens old wounds, drawing fresh apologies

This Reddit update, echoing your struggles with family resentments, like your sister’s lingering grudges, dives into forgiveness, ego, and the slow burn of hurt. Can a meal mend a marriage, or does the past still simmer?

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

‘Update: Am I wrong for no longer cooking for wife after she drunkenly admitted she wished her male co worker could cook for her instead?’

A husband’s two-year cooking boycott, sparked by his wife’s drunken comment, wasn’t just about food—it was a wound to his ego, as Reddit sharply noted. His decision to cook again, prompted by community feedback, is a step toward healing, but his analogy about preferring another woman’s hugs was a jab that reignited pain. This mirrors your own family tensions, like your brother-in-law’s lingering resentment over a slight, showing how grudges fester when forgiveness is incomplete.

Lingering resentment can erode relationships. A 2022 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that unresolved slights, especially those tied to self-esteem, often lead to passive-aggressive behaviors, like his cooking refusal (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02654075221104718). His wife’s repeated apologies and cessation of contact with the co-worker show accountability, yet his analogy suggests he’s still processing betrayal.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship expert, notes, “True forgiveness requires letting go of the need to punish, not just saying the words” (https://www.harrietlerner.com/books). The husband’s claim of forgiveness clashes with his actions, and the Vanessa analogy, while illustrative, risks planting new insecurities, as Reddit criticized. His cooking progress is a positive step, but emotional growth lags behind.

Advice: The husband should pursue couples therapy to unpack his lingering hurt and avoid future jabs. Cooking regularly for his wife, without revisiting the past, could rebuild intimacy. His wife should acknowledge the analogy’s impact to clear the air.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit didn’t mince words, roasting the husband’s grudge-holding with a side of sharp wit, while praising his wife’s patience. Here’s what the community dished out:

These comments are sizzling, but do they overlook the husband’s growth? Is this just petty revenge, or a deeper trust issue? Let’s stir the pot.

This husband’s journey from a cooking boycott to a romantic risotto dinner shows progress, but his lingering jabs reveal a grudge that’s hard to swallow. His wife’s apologies, much like your efforts to mend ties with your cousin, face an uphill battle against past pain. Was his analogy a fair way to express hurt, or a cruel twist? Would you cook for a partner after such a slight, or hold the line? Drop your thoughts below and let’s feast on this relationship drama!