Am i wrong for still wearing the ring my girlfriend got me before she died?

Picture a man twisting a simple steel ring on his finger, its engraved “real love” catching the light as he navigates a new romance. Seven years ago, his soulmate gifted him this ring before her tragic death, and it’s been his quiet companion ever since. Now, his new girlfriend’s hesitant glances at it reveal an unspoken tension. This Reddit user’s heartfelt post pulls us into a delicate dance of grief and new beginnings, stirring empathy for love’s lasting echoes.

His story resonates with anyone who’s carried a piece of the past into a new chapter. Though his girlfriend says the ring doesn’t bother her, her unease is palpable, leaving him torn between honoring a lost love and embracing the present. Let’s dive into his post, Reddit’s reactions, and expert insights to untangle this emotional knot.

‘Am i wrong for still wearing the ring my girlfriend got me before she died?’

Long story short, about 7 years ago my girlfriend at the time which i would have considered my soul mate got us a pair of matching rings for our 3 year anniversary. Nothing fancy just steel rings with

A little over a year later she died. We were still in a great place in our relationship and neither of us had plans or thoughts of leaving the other. As far as we were concerned wed be getting married some day. Fast forward to now and i just got into my first relationship since that happened.

The girl im currently seeing knows about my previous relationship and what happened. I asked her if it bothered her that i still wear the ring my previous girlfriend had gotten me and she said it doesnt. However i can tell that it does bother her atleast a little bit. Am i wrong for still wearing it when it makes her uncomfortable?

Wearing a ring from a deceased partner while in a new relationship is a poignant symbol of unresolved grief, and this man’s dilemma highlights the complexity of moving on. His new girlfriend’s discomfort, though unspoken, suggests she feels overshadowed by his past love. The ring, a tangible link to his late soulmate, may signal to her that he’s not fully present in their relationship.

Grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt notes, “Grief is not something you get over; it’s something you carry with you”. The man’s attachment to the ring is a natural part of carrying that loss, but it risks creating distance in his new relationship.

A 2019 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that unresolved grief can hinder new romantic bonds, with partners often feeling like they’re competing with a memory.

He might consider small steps, like wearing the ring on a chain or keeping it in a special place, to honor his past while signaling openness to the future. Open communication with his girlfriend is crucial—discussing the ring’s meaning could ease her concerns. Therapy could also help him process his grief.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s responses were a heartfelt mix of empathy and tough love. Many praised the girlfriend’s patience but warned that the ring’s symbolism—akin to a wedding band—might make her feel like a runner-up. Some suggested keeping the ring but not wearing it, while others urged him to grieve at his own pace, even if it means keeping it on.

hunnyjo − My current husband is in your situation. Being in your gf's place, I can tell you it probably bothers her BUT it's not for her to tell you to not wear it. When you are ready if you want the relationship you are in to move forward you will need to put that ring away some place safe, out of sight.

When you do take it off, please do not make a big show of it, let her notice on her own and believe me she will. When she asks (and she will) make sure you tell her, you took it off as a sign to live in your present looking forward to your future together, leaving the past where it belongs.

samwisethegay07 − I think it's confusing because in one scenario you're moving on and yet in the exact same breath you're holding on. It's going to be the source of a few arguments, I can tell. And there's nothing that states that you have to grieve in a certain amount of time or have to grieve by societal standards.

If it makes you feel better to wear the ring then wear it. But if you're ready to move on, perhaps try taking it off while you shower, one night when you go to sleep. Can put it back on in the morning, for a day's worth of work, eventually getting used to the feeling without it. But keep the ring. Nothing says you can't

MadPanda2023 − I'm a widow 12 years out. I'm sorry for your loss. I started dating, and there came a time when I felt comfortable putting our rings away. I had them on a chain around my neck.

The symbolism of wearing a constant reminder of how much I loved , but how easily it was lost, was not something I wanted to move forward with in my life. I was just ready. I think your GF sounds like a wonderful human because she's letting you set the pace of your grief.

And I will say to expect some weirdness from your end. What weirdness? I'm not sure. It's different for everyone. It's your first relationship after a huge loss. Just remember to be gentle with yourself and it all goes down the path of healing and love and loss.. Huge soul hugs to you.

thesassyferret − It sounds like you want to wear your ring and your girlfriend wants to respect your grief. If you're happy with it on and she has told you she's not bothered maybe try just believing her? If you want to stop wearing the ring give that a try too.

alicat777777 − I would keep the ring but not wear it. She doesn’t want to feel like your second choice. But it’s up to you whether you are actually ready to move forward to that extent.

Friendly_Shelter_625 − You have to grieve and move on at your own pace. But this ring sounds a lot like a wedding band. If it was some random piece of jewelry she bought that you wear because you like it, I’d say you could wear it forever. But it’s a symbol of the love you had for each other and your relationship.

If I was dating you it would give me pause. I wouldn’t begrudge you keeping it, but wearing it makes it seem like you aren’t ready to be fully in a new relationship. Again, you have to move at your own pace and take the time you need.

But I couldn’t fully invest in you because it seems like you’re still very attached to her. She’s always going to be important to you, but wearing the ring seems like too tangible of a reminder to a new partner.

hardknock1234 − I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you’ve been through! I can say if I was your current girlfriend I wouldn’t want you to take it off. I also realize I view things in life different than most. Your previous girlfriend was a significant part of your life and it’s not a competition.

Maybe it bothers your girlfriend in different ways than you think? For me, I would be hurting for you that you went through such a painful experience-I can’t stand when anyone I care for is hurting and has been through tough things. We all have remnants of past relationships and life experiences.

Yours happens to be in the form of jewelry. Love isn’t a competition and most of us hold onto love for past relationships. It doesn’t mean we love those in the present less. Those past experiences teach us and shape our view of life and how we love others. I’m happy you had such a wonderful person to love before, and I’m happy you have found a new person to love.

Nervous_Magazine_200 − Wow. I really feel for you. I don't think anyone would tell you it's wrong. I do have a question though: do you feel like you've processed it and are able to move on? I hope so. If not, I might just suggest some counseling. I think you'd find an answer that feels best there. Good luck and I hope this relationship works out.

DeafDiesel − Your actions and words don’t line up here. You say you’ve moved on, but you mention in every comment how much you still love her. There is company in a relationship, even if one of the parties is deceased.

I recommend talking to a professional if you haven’t yet. It doesn’t sound like your current girlfriend wants you to completely forget your deceased girlfriend, she just doesn’t want to compete with a ghost every day for your affection.

j526w − It just tells me you’re not ready to move on. I would respect but also treat you accordingly 🤷🏽‍♂️.

This Reddit story tugs at the heart, revealing the messy beauty of loving again after loss. The man’s ring is more than jewelry—it’s a bridge to a cherished past, but it casts a shadow on his new love.

How would you navigate wearing a symbol of lost love in a new relationship? Share your thoughts, experiences, or advice below—let’s keep this heartfelt conversation alive!

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