AIW for hiding my successful life from my family?

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In a lively small-town diner, where burgers sizzle and coffee steams, a 35-year-old woman and her husband, Mike, hide a delicious secret. Their thriving restaurant chain could fund an early retirement, yet they play it modest, tucking their ‘68 Mustang and BMW away from prying eyes. Why? Their families—gold-diggers, addicts, and felons—would swarm their fortune.

Guilt tugs at them; they crave family pride but fear chaos. Readers, who hasn’t juggled tricky family ties? This tale of success and secrecy explores love, loyalty, and self-preservation. When does protecting your wins trump sharing them? Let’s dive in.

‘AIW for hiding my successful life from my family?’

I (35F) and my husband (Mike 37) run a small but successful restaurant chain and several other restaurants in our state. We are doing well enough that we could retire this instant and have more than enough when left over for our kids (when we have them) to go to college or buy a nice house when we die.

Our business is consistently busy, we have lots of good reviews, and we are a decently popular place to eat. Our prices are fair, the food quality is good, and we pay our workers quite well with a starting pay of $18/hr in all positions. We worked hard to get to this point so our employees are happy and we can still make money.

Of course, Mike and I do this in secret of our families. To them, we just work at a restaurant, one of us as head chef and the other as a shift manager. We put up a front of living modest lives and we don't post anything on our social media. If word gets to our families, they will do whatever it takes to get their hands on it. It sounds messed up but our families have less than favorable characters.

My mom is a gold digger, always was, and never worked anything above a part time job as a server. My dad is in prison for accessory to m**der. Mike's parents have a royalty complex and act like the world owes them. His mother is the worse, any spare change he had she would steal and spend on cigarettes and whatever pill of the week she is on.

His sister is a d**g addict who refuses to get help even when we have sent her twice. And his brother has several warrants and numerous felonies with aggravated robbery, breaking and entering, a**ault, etc. The only decent ones in the family are his older brother Joe who runs a podcast, and my older brother Caleb who is just a free-spirited hippie and likes to just travel tho he has little money..

When Mike and I swore to secrecy of our lives, We promised we would keep the spending as modest as possible and we keep our toys at a storage or at one of our other properties. Our families only know of the house we live in like 90% of the year and the only cars they know about is our Volkswagen crossover and my Toyota sedan.

They don't know about his 68 Mustang or my BMW.Sometimes we hate that we have to hide this from them. We had hoped that they would be proud of us and our success but we don't feel comfortable as we feel it'll cause problems and jeopardize everything we worked hard for. AITA

Hiding success from family feels like a plot twist in a feel-good movie, but for this couple, it’s a shield against toxic relatives. Their fear of exploitation is valid—family dynamics can turn predatory when money’s involved. The wife and Mike prioritize their hard-earned stability, but their secrecy hints at deeper trust issues rooted in their families’ dysfunctional pasts.

The couple’s choice reflects a clear divide: they value their peace over familial approval, while their relatives’ histories—gold-digging, addiction, crime—suggest entitlement or desperation. This mirrors a broader issue: financial boundaries in families. A 2021 Pew Research study found 27% of Americans have lent money to family, often straining relationships (https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/05/25/financial-issues-top-the-list-of-reasons-u-s-adults-live-in-multigenerational-homes/).

Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a therapist and boundaries expert, notes, “Setting boundaries with family is about protecting your well-being, not rejecting them” (https://www.nedratawwab.com/book). Her insight suggests the couple’s secrecy is a healthy boundary, not deceit. Their modest facade guards their empire from those who’ve shown little respect for their efforts.

For solutions, they could maintain their privacy but prepare for exposure, as Reddit suggests, by consulting a financial advisor to safeguard assets. Limited, anonymous support—like donations to a rehab program—could help family without revealing wealth. Therapy might ease their guilt, fostering acceptance of their choice.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s armchair experts dished out advice as spicy as the couple’s menu, blending support with blunt warnings. Here’s the community’s take:

autumnspringgirlie − Good for you. Do what you need to do. Help others when you are able. Peace.

Leather-Lab8120 − Sometimes we hate that we have to hide this from them. We had hoped that they would be proud of us and our success but we don't feel comfortable as we feel it'll cause problems and jeopardize our safety.. Wonderful story, and you have to STFU to keep its up.. Totally worth it.. Once the lowlifes find out, they will be relentless.. Stay vigilant.

ACM915 − The stealing or begging would NEVER end if they found out. Keep your mouths shut.

Alt-Ctrl − If they are as bad as you say they are you should consider cutting contact and live your life to the fullest. You worked hard for this.

[Reddit User] − Protect yourselves!. Y’all are not wrong!!

JanuarySoCold − I worked at a family owned restaurant. The owner's daughter had a BF. His parents used to come in, order a meal, order the staff around, treat them like garbage and expect the server to comp their meal which they had no authority to do. Keep your business to yourself. People are AHs.

[Reddit User] − Nope. Keeping doing just that. It’s nice to be humble in general. I’d probably do something like that even though my immediate family is actually great.

apothekryptic − Nope, stop second guessing yourself. Trust your gut. Your decision is completely defensible according to your post and frankly, your finances are nobody's business but yours.. Keep doing what you're doing. Also, congratulations on your success!

[Reddit User] − NTA. You're doing what you need to protect the family & life you created. Keep it that way.

Rocksteady2R − Prepare for when they find out.. Not the 'if' - it is a 'when'.. I don't know what that preparation looks lime, but just know that one day it will happen.

These opinions sizzle with truth, but do they oversimplify the couple’s dilemma? Is secrecy sustainable, or a recipe for future drama?

This couple’s hidden empire serves up a feast of questions about family, success, and trust. By choosing secrecy, they’ve plated a life of peace over potential chaos, but the weight of their facade lingers. Could a middle ground—like selective sharing with trusted kin—work, or is their vault of modesty the safest bet? What would you do if your success risked family fallout? Drop your thoughts below and let’s stir the pot!

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