AITA for kicking out my dad’s wife when they came to visit my baby?

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In a cozy apartment filled with the soft coos of a six-week-old baby, a new mom thought she had everything under control—until an uninvited guest sparked a family showdown. Exhausted yet fiercely protective, she had set clear rules for visitors to shield her fragile postpartum peace. But when her dad arrived with his wife, Maggie, despite their agreement, tensions flared like a summer storm. What was meant to be a joyful visit turned into a clash of boundaries, leaving everyone questioning: was she too harsh, or just guarding her sanctuary?

The weight of new motherhood is heavy, and every decision feels monumental. With her mom and stepdad already filling the apartment with love and support, the new mom wasn’t ready for Maggie’s presence, especially given their strained history. Readers can’t help but wonder: how far would you go to protect your space during such a tender time?

‘AITA for kicking out my dad’s wife when they came to visit my baby?’

My husband and I welcomed our daughter 6 weeks ago. My mum was with us for one week after the birth and then went home and it was just me, my husband, and our newborn care specialist. One week ago, my mum and stepdad came back to stay with us and visit the baby (they’ll be staying another week).

I invited my dad to come and visit for the same period, but since he wanted to bring his wife Maggie along on the trip, they are staying in a hotel (we are paying for it). We had previously agreed that he would come to visit my apartment alone, and the rest of the time he would spend vacationing with his wife.

This had all been working really well, until yesterday when my dad brought his wife with him to the apartment. He said he thought it would be okay since he has been coming alone for a week and she just wanted to meet the baby. I told my dad that she would meet the baby when I was ready to receive visitors, not when he dictates, and she had to leave.

We went on bickering until my husband stepped in and told my dad the discussion was over. My dad ended up staying to visit because if he’d left with her it would have made the situation worse, and she went back to the hotel. My dad has now said (via text and in person) that I overreacted, and that Maggie was not planning to stay long and I could have just let her see the baby.

I think that given the agreement was not to bring her, any length of time was going against that. He says I embarrassed her by having that argument in front of my mum and stepdad, and I think he’s the one who embarrassed her by bringing her at all. My husband is on my side obviously,

Mum and stepdad say it’s 50/50 but I veered into AH territory by ordering her out the way I did. Having a new baby is a lot, and I’ll admit I haven’t been my most level headed, so I’m wondering if maybe I went slightly overboard.. Edit - these questions/comments are common so editing for clarity.

1. Why didn’t I want Maggie to visit in the first place? Firstly, Maggie is extremely awkward around my mum. She apparently feels uncomfortable around “the woman my dad loved before her” to the point where she can’t hold a conversation or make eye contact with her. This makes for a maddeningly awkward atmosphere when they are around each other (my 30th birthday dinner was AWFUL). I didn’t want to deal with that level of awkward.

Second, I am not up to hosting. I am tired, I’m not looking or feeling my best, I am not presentable. I am not up to being sociable, getting dressed properly, and making sure the apartment is presentable. I don’t feel the need to do that around my parents but outside of that, I would. I am not having even my closest friends around for this reason. When I am more settled, I’d be fine with Maggie coming round with my dad.

2. What is the history between Maggie and me? I haven’t spent much time with Maggie, but she goes through periods of having a very Volatile temperament, and they happen very quickly and she can be quite unpleasant to be around, so I’ve never sought to be close to her.

3. Yes, I am aware my dad probably told her it was okay to come. My dad is someone who wants everything his way all the time, and if he has to use subterfuge, he’s fine with it. Most of the time people just put up with it to keep the peace, so often that he banks on that. It is likely this what happened here as well. It’s unfortunate that my dad is like that, and unfortunate that Maggie didn’t stand up and say no, so I had to.

4. For everyone asking my stepdad is here, my stepdad is an extra parent to me. He has been for 17 years. He’s the first person who knew we were expecting, he’s the one giving my husband advice, I talk to him more often than my bio dad, I need and want him here just as much as my mum. My daughter is his granddaughter because I am a daughter to him. It has nothing to do with excluding Maggie, my stepdad is *in*cluded because he is a parent here.

Navigating family visits during the postpartum period can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield. The OP’s situation highlights a classic clash: a new mom’s need for control versus a family member’s desire to connect. Her firm boundary against Maggie’s visit stemmed from emotional overload and a history of awkward encounters, while her dad’s decision to ignore it screams entitlement. Both sides have valid feelings, but the lack of communication fueled the fire.

The postpartum phase is a vulnerable time. According to a 2021 study by the American Psychological Association, up to 70% of new mothers experience stress from social pressures. This broader issue—balancing family expectations with personal well-being—is universal. The OP’s choice to prioritize her comfort reflects a growing trend of setting boundaries to protect mental health.

Dr. Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, notes, “Postpartum women often feel pressured to accommodate others, but setting boundaries is crucial for emotional recovery”. Dunn’s insight applies directly here: the OP’s reaction, though sharp, was a protective instinct. Her dad’s disregard, however, suggests a need for better respect. For solutions, open dialogue is key. The OP could calmly reiterate her needs, perhaps scheduling a future visit with Maggie when she’s ready.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s hot takes on this drama are as spicy as a summer barbecue. From staunch supporters to critics calling foul, the community didn’t hold back. Here’s what they said:

Beck2010 − Info: why wouldn’t you let Maggie see the baby? Stepdad has seen the baby, but stepmom can’t? There’s some info missing. You’re well within your rights to deny anyone access to your baby, but it seems as if mom, stepdad, and dad are family, but Maggie is just a visitor?

Cursd818 − NTA You were paying for his hotel and laid out a very clear boundary that his wife couldn't come to see you. He didn't call and ask to bring his wife along for a few minutes; he thought he would just a**ush you and you'd have to go along with it. Instead, you kept the boundary in place and he was revealed to be the one in the wrong.

The way he mentions your mother and her husband suggests that he was jealous about them being 'prioritised', and wanted to establish some dominance. Good on you for shutting that nonsense down. What he wants doesn't matter when it comes to your newborn. The sooner he understands that, the better.

Far_Nefariousness773 − NTA. 1. You were clear with your rules and your father agreed. 2. You said stepdad is a parent to you and she’s not. She knew she wasn’t welcome and tried it.. 3. She’s awkward around your mother and you didn’t feel like dealing with that.. No is a full sentence. When you said that, your father should have backed down.

south3y − NTA. He knew exactly what he was doing when he decided to push past your limit. This wasn't an innocent misunderstanding, or whatever his cover story was. He knew he was being naughty. He is the author of any embarrassment he might have suffered.

wtvgirl − NTA at all. Im not sure why people are mentioning that you let your step dad visit as if that’s relevant. Whatever the reason is. It’s obvious that you’re closer to him and you established that he was a parental figure growing up. You don’t have to be “fair” to both. And like you said you just wanted people close to you and you get to decide who that is

During the postpartum period, people should basically be kissing your a**. If ur step mom makes you uncomfortable/won’t lighten the ease,then there’s no discussion. She can visit later. When youre visiting someone who just had a baby people need to remember that they’re not hosting you…

dart1126 − YTA. Your dad presumably travelled from far away if he’s at a hotel for a week. Your mom and stepdad stayed the very intrusive first week, and are already back again, and staying IN the house. Yet you won’t let her literally CROSS THE THRESHOLD to see you and the baby. You say because she massively overstepped by having the colossal nerve to venture out from room 305 to view you in person on the last day of the visit.

And naturally you can’t risk rewarding such behavior. Ever think your dad likely said, come on let’s go see the baby? I see from comments thus far indicating your problems with her …are NOT enough to warrant such a stiff arming. I’ll get downvoted of course, the your house, your rules, your new bundle etc….but you’re being an a**hole to her, because you don’t like her. That’s ALL this is. Don’t pretend it’s anything else

Editing..thanks to the rational supporters here ha. To clear up a few things…yep, I’m a mother myself. I am also a stepparent, and also have a stepparent. I am everyone IN this post…and yeah, to single out one person who flew there with her husband, assholes dad, and kids grandchild…and she can’t come in to say hello for five f**king minutes because …

well, we still don’t know. This new mother has hired help, and her mother staying there to help. She hasn’t once wailed about exhaustion, postpartum issues, ennui…etc. she just doesn’t LIKE this person. Her right to stick her ass out about it at her own home? Sure, you do you….but yes it makes you an a**hole.

Safe_Initiative1340 − YTA after reading some of your comments and the fact your dad stayed to placate you and not cause issues instead of taking his wife back to the hotel. Honestly it sounds like you just want everyone to cater to you since you had a baby six weeks ago. And I get it, having a baby is hard. But this vibe your giving is a bit odd.

chronberries − ESH You for not just letting her meet the baby for two minutes, avoiding the whole s**t show, and your dad for bringing her in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, you were well within your right to kick her out, but it was still rude and humiliating for her. She probably only came because your dad said it would be fine.

Hotcrossbuns72 − NTA. Regardless of the reason why, you said what you said and your dad decided to override it. He doesn’t get to change it to make his wife feel better. Congratulations on the baby❤️

PutTheKettleOn20 − YTA. It's clear you don't like your stepmum, but the reasons are really vague and weird. Like she seems uncomfortable around your mum - has she said anything or is this just projecting since your mum seems to defend her here? And why is Maggie the only person in the family not allowed to see your baby?

It's one thing if she had done something bad that made you distrust or dislike her,  or if you were treating her and your stepdad the same way, but you aren't. You were deliberately excluding her, making everything and everyone uncomfortable, and making her feel like the only person not in the family. You were trying to make your dad choose between her and you and your child. For no real reason at all. 

These opinions are fiery, but do they capture the full picture? Maybe the truth lies in the messy middle of family love and missteps.

This tale of a new mom’s boundary battle leaves us pondering: where’s the line between protecting your space and keeping the peace? The OP’s stand was bold, but the fallout shows how quickly family ties can tangle. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Share your thoughts, experiences, or even your own family drama in the comments—let’s keep the conversation going!

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