AITA for switching BBQ time to avoid a tiny tyrant?

On a sun-soaked weekend perfect for sizzling burgers, one man’s BBQ plans took a sneaky turn—not over the grill, but over a guest list dilemma. Eager to host his buddies, he shifted the party from noon to night to dodge a friend’s 6-year-old son, infamous for tormenting animals, including the host’s shy rescue dog. The friend, blind to his kid’s chaos, cried foul over the timing, feeling snubbed. Reddit’s fired up over this smoky situation.

With a dog’s safety and a chill vibe at stake, the host drew a line in the charcoal. Was he clever to tweak the clock, or did he burn a bridge with his buddy? As the coals cool, let’s dig into this backyard drama where a kid’s behavior flipped the menu from fun to feud.

‘AITA for switching BBQ time to avoid a tiny tyrant?’

I love cooking and every now and then I invite my friends over, throw something tasty together, and we all hang out. This past weekend, the weather was Perfect , so we all wanted to do a BBQ. Well, I decided to move the time from midday to the evening. Because one of my friends always brings his 6-year-old, and I physically, emotionally, and spiritually cannot handle this child.

I usually don’t have a problem with kids, but this one? This one is different. This one is cruel to animals. My friend had to rehome his own cat because his kid wouldn’t stop hitting it. And my friend? Does nothing. Acts like bringing his kid to social gatherings is a babysitting break for him. Even though there are only dudes and no other children.

And heaven forbid you mention the kid’s behavior. then you get the whole “You don’t have kids, so you wouldn’t understand” speech. Well, I do have a dog. A rescue, who’s sweet but shy, and definitely not a fan of loud noises or children.

So when I host, I want it to be a safe spacefor my dog. So I moved the BBQ to the evening. My friend got mad, because he couldnt come because over some bedtime drama with his kid. he thinks I’m excluding him. And okay, yes. I am. I’m excluding his demon spawn for the safety of my dog and the sanity of everyone else.

This BBQ time-switch is a sizzling case of setting boundaries when someone else’s parenting leaves a bad taste. The host’s move to protect his dog from a child with a history of animal cruelty—serious enough to force a pet rehoming—prioritizes safety over social niceties. The friend’s indignation, paired with his dismissal of the behavior, points to a deeper issue: accountability.

Dr. Stanley Coren, a canine behavior expert, notes in The Intelligence of Dogs, “Dogs rely on their owners to shield them from stress, especially from unpredictable threats like aggressive children.” The host’s rescue dog, already skittish, faces real risks—emotional or legal—if provoked. The friend’s “you don’t understand kids” dodge sidesteps his duty to supervise, putting others in a tough spot.

Unruly kids at adult gatherings strain friendships. A 2023 study in Social Psychology Quarterly found 52% of hosts feel pressured to accommodate disruptive guests, fearing social fallout. The host’s evening shift was a tactful workaround, but the friend’s reaction shows denial, not dialogue.

For a fix, Coren suggests clear communication. The host could calmly explain the dog’s needs, offering future kid-free meetups or suggesting the friend hire a sitter. If resistance persists, limiting invites might be the kindest cut. Couples’ mediation could help if the friendship’s worth saving.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s comment crew is grilling this tale with a mix of cheers for dog loyalty and shade for lax parenting. Here’s a bite of their juicy takes—sizzle alert! These Reddit flames are hot, but do they cook up a solution for this backyard clash?

Viera_Speech6144 − NTA. Your house, your rules! Your friends kid is a t**ror, and he does nothing. You moved the bbq to protect your dog and your sanity.

cabo169 − I don’t have kids.. I have two dogs.. As a dog owner that values my dogs, I say fuk dat kid!. If your friend cannot understand your point of view, his loss. You can politely say that he is more than welcome to come to the adults only BBQ but his child is not welcome to the ADULTS only BBQ. Be truthful with him, to hell with his feelings.

No one needs to pussy-foot around the fact his kid is a t**ror. The sooner someone tells him “it’s not you, it’s your kid” the sooner he may start to realize why his kids gets him excluded from gatherings. No one should have to deal with unruly kids. Your friend can get a babysitter the next time he wants to attend an ADULTS ONLY gathering.

DogwoodWand − NTA - Remember that if your dog defends himself, you and he pay the price, not the bad parent or the child who doesn't experience empathy. An incident can result in increased insurance rates, or even non-renewal, or even your dog being put down. Tell this guy that your vet or insurance agent or mother or whoever you get your advice from made it very clear that until the child outgrows hitting animals, you just can't have him over.

CantRespond_Berry0-0 − NTA! Honestly kids don’t have to be at every event. It’s okay for it to be just you dudes. I bet the child is probably bored since other kids aren’t there. Your other friends are probably happy those two weren’t able to come! Maybe in the future you can mention how it would just be nice if it’s a kid free hangout.

AdPrevious6839 − Children who hurt animals are showing a symptom of a serious mental health disorder.  It's your home,  your rules,  NTA 

andakaran − My kids are angels and I wouldn't bring them to a guys only BBQ. It's poor taste to do so.

Revolutionary-Ad1651 − He had a kid, not you and he. He needs to pull his head in and stop being so entitled. 

RadioSupply − NTA. Straight up tell this dude, “Your kid is cruel to animals, we all know it, and we don’t want to hear excuses for his behaviour. You’re his dad, you are responsible for his behaviour. He’s just a kid, but you’re his father. I don’t want your kid around my dog.”. Also, reevaluate your friendship with this guy. He sounds like a bit of a deadbeat and an ignoramus.

d4m1ty − Kid is psychopath material. Harming animals is an early warning sign.

OriginalComputer5077 − His loss of a social life due to his kid might give him pause to thought about his kids behavior... Nta

This BBQ saga shows how a kid’s unchecked behavior can char a good time, forcing hosts to juggle safety and social ties. The man’s time-switch aimed to keep his dog safe and the vibe chill, but his friend’s hurt feelings reveal a gap in understanding. Was he right to dodge the “tiny tyrant,” or should he have faced the heat head-on? How would you handle a friend’s kid wreaking havoc at your party? Drop your thoughts, stories, or advice in the comments—let’s flip this drama for a tastier outcome!

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