AITA for asking my ‘famous’ friend to take a selfie with a fan?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a cozy coffee shop, two old friends caught up over lattes, their laughter mingling with the hum of morning chatter. One’s a regular gal, the other a TikTok star, her face lighting up phones across the globe. But when a shy young fan approached, eyes wide with hope, the vibe shifted. A simple selfie request hung in the air—ignored—until a gentle nudge stirred tension nobody saw coming.

This isn’t just about a photo op gone wrong—it’s about fame’s tricky dance with kindness and how a split-second choice can ripple through a friendship. Let’s sip on this Reddit brew, where a moment of awkward silence spills into a heated clash, revealing what happens when stardom meets everyday manners.

‘AITA for asking my ‘famous’ friend to take a selfie with a fan?’

This morning I (23F) met a childhood friend (24F) who is now famous on TikTok. We rarely get together nowadays because she’s been busy and I never got to see her as this sort of ‘celebrity’ in public, so to speak. Anyway, we were having coffee and a girl, who was like 10 or 11, recognized her;

I think the girl’s mother was in the line to get their order and the girl came all by herself to our table. My friend was texting someone when she approached us, and the girl asked her if she could get a selfie. To my surprise my friend just kept texting, like, she didn’t acknowledge the girl at all!

I was a bit shocked to be honest, but I thought my friend could not have heard her because the girl didn’t speak loudly, in fact she appeared to be shy. So the girl was left standing there and there was this awkward pause, so I called my friend by her name and said: ‘This girl wants a picture’.

And my friend indulged her request but seemed bothered to do so. After the girl left, my friend turned to me and said something like: ‘don’t you ever put me on the spot like this again, if I wanted to take a selfie I would have answered her myself’. I couldn’t believe she was saying that.

Then she went on to say how she didn’t even had her make up done and didn’t want to be bothered. I told her she could have answered the girl even if to say she couldn’t take a picture right now, how could she just ignore her? Then my friend said “You don’t understand”, and that was the end of it. AITA here?

Fame can feel like a spotlight—or a cage. Ignoring a young fan’s selfie plea wasn’t just a snub; it left an awkward void, forcing her friend to fill it. The nudge to respond was well-meaning, but the star’s sharp comeback—blaming her pal for the pressure—flipped the script. Both felt misstepped: one craved respect for her space, the other saw a kid’s heart brushed off.

Public life demands a balance of grace and boundaries. As etiquette expert Myka Meier notes, “Manners are about making others feel valued, no matter the setting” (Beaumont Etiquette). The star’s silence spoke louder than a polite “not now,” risking a fan’s admiration. Her friend’s prompt, though clumsy, aimed to bridge that gap, not widen it.

This clash reflects fame’s broader toll. A 2022 study found 65% of influencers report burnout from constant public demands (Journal of Media Psychology). The star’s guarded reaction hints at that strain, but ignoring a child’s request leans rude, not protective. A quick, kind word could’ve saved face for everyone.

Meier’s advice on poise under pressure fits here: a gentle decline—like “I’m so flattered, but I’m catching up with a friend”—keeps warmth intact. The friends could talk it out, setting clear lines for public moments. Fame doesn’t excuse coldness, but understanding its weight might mend their rift.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s posse swooped into this coffee shop drama like it’s an open mic night, tossing out cheers, sighs, and some spicy shade. Think of a bustling café where everyone’s got a take, stirring their drinks and the pot with equal gusto. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, buzzing with support, gripes, and a few raised brows:

focusfaster − NTA. Ugh

ElGato6666 − One of my friends is a world-famous rockstar, and he told me how he handles fans: If people are polite and come up to him when he is not actively involved in a conversation with someone else, he will sign an autograph or do a selfie. But if he's clearly in the middle of talking with someone or is out with his family, he usually says,

He always signs for kids under 15, and he is NEVER rude unless the person is really persistent and keeps interrupting him. One thing he has to deal with is professional memorabilia dealers trying to get him to sign instruments or collectibles. Because of contractual/legal obligations, he can sign a record as long as it is personalized (which apparently kills the resale value!),

but he can't sign things like musical instruments unless it is at an official event organized by his management team. He does make exceptions occasionally even though he's not supposed to. He also won't sign body parts, which isn't as much of an issue for him now that he is older,

but when he was in his 30s, women would flash him all the time so he could sign their breasts - needless to say, that didn't go over so well with his wife lol. The most difficult thing for him is handling requests for public appearances because his management company charges a fee and requires a ton of paperwork for events.

But he often donates items for auctions at local schools and community groups. A few years ago, even brought an acoustic guitar to a charity picnic and did a couple of songs. Technically it was a violation of his public appearance, contracts, but his sponsors and management company were apparently pretty cool about it.

Appropriate_Map2685 − NTA. Your friend sounds like her bit of fame has gone to her head. She thinks it allows her to act like an entitled brat. Just because you have a tiny bit of celebrity doesn't mean you should throw good manners out the window.

BradMehldau − NAH, I'm in a line of work where my friends sometimes get recognized publically and it can be very tiring for the person. Although I personally don't think she should have ignored the little girl, I can see why she thinks you out her on the spot.

ToastetteEgg − NAH. I completely understand why this bothered you. It’s embarrassing and the child had a simple request which would make her day. I also understand your friend being bothered every single time she’s out in public and that sucks, even if it is part of the game.

92pjs − NTA, as you said, if she didn't want to take pictures... she can just reject the girl kindly. straight up ignoring her is rude and puts you in an awkward situation too

adeelf − ESH. In the minority, I guess. Why your friend is, is obvious. Ignoring a fan and acting like they don't exist when they're a foot away from you is rude as f**k. Why you? Well, giving a selfie or not was her prerogative. To that end, your friend was right; you did put her on the spot where she basically had no choice but to do it.

Again, because I know people are going to get worked up about influencers and start down voting, I'm not excusing her rudeness. She definitely could have handled that better.. But you did put her on the spot there (even though I understand that wasn't your intention).

mruhkrAbZ − Everyone likes to hate on famous people for acting like this, but once you’ve experienced the transition from someone nobody gives a s**t about to someone with a level of fame, having people always wanting something from you and approaching you, asking for your time and energy is exhausting. It is really easy to judge and hate on famous people if you have never been famous yourself, but once you’ve experienced fame you will know what I am talking about.

lilyth88 − NTA, your friend being

Yellobrix − NTA. She doesn't owe the kid a photo, but it's basic manners to say something like

These Redditors keep it real—some back the nudge as a stand for kindness, others see the star’s side, worn thin by fame’s glare. A few call her snub plain rude, urging a reality check, while others nod at the exhaustion of always being “on.” Their takes brew a lively mix, showing how one ignored selfie stirred up a whole latte feelings.

Fame’s a wild ride, but it doesn’t trump kindness. A shy fan’s moment got lost in a TikTok star’s silence, and her friend’s nudge kicked up more than dust. This Reddit tale reminds us that even small gestures—like a quick smile or a gentle “no”—can make or break a day. What would you do caught between a friend and a fan? Drop your thoughts below; let’s keep this chat brewing!

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